8.1 must be stopped (jelly fish sex party's..murder)!

Discussion of music production, audio, equipment and any related topics, either with or without Ableton Live
Post Reply
nathannn
Posts: 3317
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2006 2:38 am
Location: U.S.

8.1 must be stopped (jelly fish sex party's..murder)!

Post by nathannn » Sat Dec 19, 2009 11:25 am

im not one to come on here and bitch and moan about little software issue's but i feel i have seen enough.
i cant sit idle and let the world be devoured by 8.1 any longer.

i already posted in another thread about how i woke up to find 8.1 on a killing spree last night.
i wont dive deep into that as i am still shaken up. what i will do however is give you the facts.

lets start off back in 1876.. way back when 8.1 was a little girl.
people started noticing live was a bit different. they said "what is it about 8.1 that makes her so different"
they soon figured out IT WAS SESSION VIEW!. they fell in love with 8.1. they felt a connection.
little did they know that the connection was only felt because 8.1 was a mother fucking sociopath and would do or say anything to get people to feel connected.

8.1 would do anything to weasel its way into the social elite.
people couldn't see it though.. they wanted to believe 8.1 was user friendly.. but she wasn't .. she was just a user.
she soon gained social status and could be seen at major events hanging out with Abe Lincoln ...
she loved the name able lincoln so much she wanted it for herself!
"how can i steel the name ABE LINCOLN and switch it up a bit and use it for myself" she asked..
well she thought hard.. "i know" she said. i will play a show and while abe is so flipping into this show i will sneek up stairs and shoot him...

and you know what she did...
the little bitch shot abe lincoln and stole his name...
8.1 knew using the name abe lincoln would give it all away so she had to change it a bit but still keep some of the alphabetical structure of the name.. from then on out she was known as ableton.

through out the last century 8.1 made a huge name for herself waging many wars, killing more presidents,
holding protest for peace in 1967 just to spray everyone with mace and tazer them.
in the 80's she was spotted in hanging out with carmon san diego and pushing greg ugainus off of the jumping thing at the olympics.
in the 90's she was found blowing up oil wells in irag and with sadam.
in 99 she was seen at woodstock 99 lighting fires to vw bugs.
and sept 11 2001.... well.. that wasnt her.. that was max for live.
but it is a well known fact that 8.1 and max for live were planning an even as far back as 2007..

later in 2007 the credit crunch. the stock market crash.
if you do a ask.com search you can find pictures of her chewing up credit cards.

and just recently there have been reports of 8.1 flying black military helicopters over a forum members house.
one forum member (i belive his birth name is beatsme) reported her dressed up as a black man saying "yo i got yo back" just to end up breaking into his apartment.
and today there is news that 8.1 was spotted at a building oozing jelly through the walls and forcing married couples to have orgys together.

that as is why i come to you towns people.
i say its enough.
its time to put your outfit on that sorta looks like a grim reaper outfit and is highly fashionable amongst mormons.
its time to get your pitch forks out, your long piece of wood, dipped in tar and weeds so they will stay lit through out the night, and bust in on 8.1.
we must see if 8.1 floats or not.
8.1 can no longer go on making movies that look like world of war craft naming them avatar and making trillions of dollars.

now you may ask yourself
how did i get here
and you may say to yourself
this isn't my beautiful wife
but the most important thing you should ask yourself is
"Where was jeeves when i just did a search on ask.com"!
what did 8.1 do with jeeves.
The Push / Novation Launch Pad / Novation Launch Pad Pro / Novation Launch Key
/ Launch Control XL / Machine MkII / Machine Studio / BeatStep / Livid OhmRGB / Livid Code V2 / Apc 40 MKII

no computers or synths

20 Copies of Ableton Live Lite.

nathannn
Posts: 3317
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2006 2:38 am
Location: U.S.

Re: 8.1 must be stopped (jelly fish sex party's..murder)!

Post by nathannn » Sat Dec 19, 2009 12:04 pm

this just in


8.1 has been seen singling out people causing snow storms the size of france over there houses.

another person claims "8.1 has morphed into a house and is now snowing on me in france!."

i tell you guys.. its getting bad.
The Push / Novation Launch Pad / Novation Launch Pad Pro / Novation Launch Key
/ Launch Control XL / Machine MkII / Machine Studio / BeatStep / Livid OhmRGB / Livid Code V2 / Apc 40 MKII

no computers or synths

20 Copies of Ableton Live Lite.

Emissary
Posts: 2431
Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2004 11:27 am

Re: 8.1 must be stopped (jelly fish sex party's..murder)!

Post by Emissary » Sat Dec 19, 2009 12:14 pm

its the illuminati

Image

nathannn
Posts: 3317
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2006 2:38 am
Location: U.S.

Re: 8.1 must be stopped (jelly fish sex party's..murder)!

Post by nathannn » Sat Dec 19, 2009 12:31 pm

Illuminati???
sorry i dont speak asian

but,
do you think that poor fat man did that to himself?
THINK AGAIN!

do i need to say .. 8.1?

but thanks to modern medicine like wii fit this man is on his way to lose 4 oz. in the next 6 months.
The Push / Novation Launch Pad / Novation Launch Pad Pro / Novation Launch Key
/ Launch Control XL / Machine MkII / Machine Studio / BeatStep / Livid OhmRGB / Livid Code V2 / Apc 40 MKII

no computers or synths

20 Copies of Ableton Live Lite.

sunaivod
Posts: 541
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 11:01 am
Location: The Netherlands

Re: 8.1 must be stopped (jelly fish sex party's..murder)!

Post by sunaivod » Sat Dec 19, 2009 1:49 pm

good album
Image

Green Lemon
Posts: 392
Joined: Mon Feb 09, 2009 7:20 pm

Re: 8.1 must be stopped (jelly fish sex party's..murder)!

Post by Green Lemon » Sat Dec 19, 2009 4:06 pm

Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me Ableton
'Cause I'm in need of some restraint
--
first 1k as chrysalis33rpm.

john doe by choice
Posts: 1085
Joined: Fri Sep 19, 2008 4:21 am

Re: 8.1 must be stopped (jelly fish sex party's..murder)!

Post by john doe by choice » Sat Dec 19, 2009 4:52 pm

nathannn wrote:Illuminati???
sorry i dont speak asian
thems the lulz, right there 8)

Post Reply