I mean sorry to say this, and i have no idea until you post and id love to be proven wrong, but i have a feeling, but my feeling is that either your music sucks something fierce( somewhat unlikely) or you just keep fucking everything up and going to the wrong venues(likely). bad/ok music + wrong venue = total failure.
but heres the most important thing to learn from your current situation: whatever you are doing, you need to stop. its not working, and shit man, after 7 years youd think you could get a little more than one gig. i let random people(dozens) ive never even met play once with me.
ok so lets think, your music, please post it! but for some reason im betting its like ambient(again no idea, just going off trends of live forum) or something else really boring. you are there to either sell tickets(a little) and sell alcohol(ALOT!). i never charge a door, because ill make twice as much money off an alcohol deal. so door is meaningless, dont use it unless absolutely needed. i personally feel like im stealing from my friends.
secondly, jesus dude, how can you meet all these people and not make gigs happen? i think there is something seriously wrong with you, in the nicest way possible. like do you talk about yourself alot? are you whiney, are you a drug dealer or drug dealer lookin dude? are a faggy hipster trying to play dirty south rap? its very important to find the right place.
if theres not a built in crowd, you have to bring one, and it sounds like you dont have one at all. if you dont bring one/cant handle one(with one gig i wouldnt trust you with my crowd) then you surely wont be asked to come back, unless you threw the party and paid for everything and made all the money(something lots of people do, for fun and money and they suck sometimes)
i have a friend like you, hes a great dude, pretty normal, maybe a little nerdy and weird compared to most people but nothing crazy, and he made decent enough music, mixed well etc, but the thing was he had no social skills or knowledge of the scene. he never went to shows or anything, i honestly dont know how he got into electronic music. but anyhow he would ask everyone to be on his street team, hand out shitty ass cds all the time, basically thought his music was awesome and didnt understand why noone really liked him or came to his shows.
he couldnt relate to the audience(hes since started DJing and really upped his game) so therefore he couldnt give them what they want. i mean what else is there to do except give them what they want? if you cant do that, noone wants your shit.
i suggest taking a break, not on music just spread out, play blues guitar, jazz drumming, whatever, gaining perspective and coming back with new vigor and viewpoints. I really dont understand why youve only had one gig, i know people that are terrible and play all the time, and one gig in seven years is downright strange especially if youre good.
i really hope for the best for anyone thats following their dream, especially music, but like i said, you need to start a journal or something and write shit down pertaining to music and think "this is what im doing, did it work or not? reaction of individual?" and keep a log of what works for you and what doesnt. get bar owners/managers names and call them once in a while and ask if they need an act coming up, its really that easy.
tell people you found a new song on youtube and let them listen, instead of telling them its your song, it gets you more honest opinions.
sorry for the shitty wall of text, and sorry if i come across as assholish its truly not my intentions, think of this as man talk after weve been drinking(i have been)
tl;dr: stop doing whatever it is that you are doing, and try something different. whatever you are doing is not working, and likely will not work anytime soon, as its been 7 years already.
and BTW i played the shittiest shows ever with low or really inconsistant turnouts, cost me money to play, very discouraging and made me want to quit. i djed a dudes bday party, met the bossman at the bar. that was almost 3 years ago and i setup homebass (pun) and he really helped me out for helping him out and i have more gigs than time and its fucking awesome and worth every moment of sucking in the beginning. it took me a while to figure out how to give people what they want, the way i want to get it to them.
and also, help anyone out you can and never turn down a show for any reason. and dont piss anyone off in the scene, they may have more sway than you think. these three things stick with you for a long time, and i think bad ones stick worse than the good ones...
sorry wall of text im rambling, i just like to tell everything ive learned to try to make it easier for someone else.
