[ot] Audiophiles,I hate em. lets make fun of em

Discussion of music production, audio, equipment and any related topics, either with or without Ableton Live
Angstrom
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Post by Angstrom » Tue Nov 08, 2005 6:57 pm

how about some gunk you paint onto ICs to make them sound like a valve.

http://www.altmann.haan.de/tubeolator/default.htm
Image

that seems pretty convincing eh!
I have a party-hat here that will make an electric guitar sound like a bazooka full of creamcheese.

the first 9000 people who apply will get my creamcheesebazookaguitaarhat for only $300 .. thats 20% off!!

hoffman2k
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Post by hoffman2k » Tue Nov 08, 2005 7:10 pm


rasputin
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Hey, it never ends

Post by rasputin » Tue Nov 08, 2005 7:24 pm

I had endless arguments about these sorts of things with some friends with too much time and money on their hands back in the 70s... I remember that there were some speakers they bought made of CONCRETE. (!!)

More recently, and in terms of the "wood knobs: in one of the many magazines I get (that should have known better) in the new products area in the front of the mag some company was touting wood disks that you place around your listening area "to balance the standing waves". Literally, they were simply polished disks of nice hardwoods; no circuitry of any kind. And their prices were as exorbitant as the knobs. Surprised not to see these disks on the ilikejam site; some day I'll run across that mag again and send a link to the guy; probably that company has deservedly gone out of business.

milfbait
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Post by milfbait » Tue Nov 08, 2005 9:40 pm

Those wooden knobs have to be a joke. :? :lol:


I've seen some crazy shit for audiophiles, but wooden knobs improving the sound? That takes the cake. :lol: 8O

Chris J
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Post by Chris J » Tue Nov 08, 2005 9:51 pm

milfbait wrote: That takes the cake. :lol: 8O
I'm afraid the cake will have to be shared, some strong contestants in there
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Angstrom
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Post by Angstrom » Tue Nov 08, 2005 10:39 pm

created in three dimensions using Finite Element Analysis in concert with artificially-intelligent reshaping algorithms, the Cobra represents a breakthrough in how the structure and performance of a tonearm is designed
3 dimensions, wow - I'm impressed .. a lot better than my 2 dimensional tone arm then?

and they better watch out for those artificially inteligent algorithms, I've seen 2001 .. things can go wrong!

hoffman2k
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Post by hoffman2k » Tue Nov 08, 2005 10:45 pm

Angstrom wrote:
created in three dimensions using Finite Element Analysis in concert with artificially-intelligent reshaping algorithms, the Cobra represents a breakthrough in how the structure and performance of a tonearm is designed
3 dimensions, wow - I'm impressed .. a lot better than my 2 dimensional tone arm then?

and they better watch out for those artificially inteligent algorithms, I've seen 2001 .. things can go wrong!
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adhmzaiusz
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Post by adhmzaiusz » Tue Nov 08, 2005 11:43 pm

Just on the topic of useless ridiculousness...

I was in need of an optical cable for my digital mixer...so i thought id try best buy. As i was shopping, i found the cables...but the only ones they had were "gold plated tipped for superior audio quality". what a load 8O since when does an optical cable need a f*¢king conducting peice of metal to improve a signal? it blew me away when i next looked at the price--$69.99 for a 6' cable. they've got some mind warping marketing strategies my god

i went down to toronto the next day and picked one up for $12.99 at steves music. when i was checking through i told someone that worked there, and they laughed out loud and told me that just made their day :?
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Angstrom
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Post by Angstrom » Tue Nov 08, 2005 11:52 pm

:lol:
that's some special kinda laser light that needs conductivity

DJ RAY
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Post by DJ RAY » Tue Nov 08, 2005 11:52 pm

Wankers all of 'em! The greatest singers, musicians, performers and artists couldn't give a rat's ass about sample rates or surround sound! They just wanted the funk! Or somethink like that!

telekom
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Post by telekom » Tue Nov 08, 2005 11:54 pm

Angstrom wrote:I have a party-hat here that will make an electric guitar sound like a bazooka full of creamcheese.
Truly LOL... :) I'll see your party hat and raise it with...

a small ball of fluff from inside my vaccuum cleaner which can transform the clinical, sterile sound of a high-end platinum-plated turntable by simply applying the fluff to the military-grade super-diamond needle, into a rough, scratchy "I keep my vinyl in the cat-litter tray" 70's old school radiogram sound...

Limited edition of 20 flightcased fluffballs for only £750 each. But you need to buy two - one for your stereo and one for your belly-button, or else it simply won't sound right.

:)
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suburbanbather
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Post by suburbanbather » Wed Nov 09, 2005 1:54 am

http://forums.audioholics.com/forums/sh ... php?t=6930

I did a google search on "audiophile forums" and at the forum above :roll: there is a member with the name "mulestor7" which also has an animated cartoon of what looks like an old man in his shorts waiting for his next victim. Hmmmmmm.

Machinate
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Post by Machinate » Wed Nov 09, 2005 2:13 am

the best thing about that conductive gunk is that the recipe's on the site, and it's mostly carbon... :roll:
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DISUYE
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Post by DISUYE » Wed Nov 09, 2005 7:43 am

Just curious- - do audiophiles listen to regalur 16 bit CDs through all this gear? Or vinyl?

DISUYE
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Post by DISUYE » Wed Nov 09, 2005 7:48 am

[quote="hoffman2k"]For real dj's :wink:

http://www.sonicflare.com/archives/cont ... -world.php[/quote]

Hehe - all that to drag a tiny grain of sand around a groove in some plastic.

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