[OT] Help to stay away from alcohol needed

sweetjesus · Post by **sweetjesus** » Thu Feb 16, 2006 10:23 am

hey everyone,

i know you guys think Radeon is being judgemental, but he is speaking from the point of view of someone who has seen these things but not had to deal with them and you know what... he speaks the truth.

All the successful musicians I know may take drugs or drink from time to time, but the ones I know who do it on a very regular basis are totally useless...

Weed especially does give you the illusion of being creative, when in fact you are just flatlining... I've only smoked maybe 15 spliffs over the last 4 months whereas before it would have been at least 150 in the same amount of time.

The best way I can describe the outcome is that I have done some of my best work during this time, including being a better person towards my woman, finishing an amazing building project and writing my first seriously catchy hook... also when I'm not high, my playing skills on guitar, keyboard and ableton-dj mixing are vastly improved due to better moto skills.

Conny, I'm thinking deep down you and I have the same fear which is why we consume the things we do.. and that is we are afraid of how good we can be. There is also some ego to it which says I can be good when I'm sober, so I should be able to be as good when I'm high or drunk... this is your ego which fears the real you.

conny · Post by **conny** » Thu Feb 16, 2006 10:40 am

I'm deaply moved by all your responses and stories. What a great way to start a new day!
I will go for a long walk and take your words with me.
Sorry for not commeting on everything you so kindly wrote, but remenber I'll let the feeling fuel me.
This day will be OK, to start with.

Hugs!

// Yours C

jahnlay · Post by **jahnlay** » Thu Feb 16, 2006 10:52 am

Hey Conny, well done for trying to cut down! Please go to the pharmacy/drugstore and get yourself some 5 HTP and high dosage Vitamin C (1000mg). The 5 HTP will help with any depression by helping to normalise your serotonin levels and the vitamin c will help to reverse any damge that free radicals are doing to your body. I am taking both and feel much better, plus you will crave less. Hope it's going great!

noisetonepause · Post by **noisetonepause** » Thu Feb 16, 2006 11:40 am

Conny, keep a diary and sell it to me if you get clean. I need it.

brightonalex · Post by **brightonalex** » Thu Feb 16, 2006 11:55 am

I was moved by Radeon's words. He just needs to rearrange them into the correct order.

redrabbit · Post by **redrabbit** » Thu Feb 16, 2006 12:43 pm

First let me say conny, that people who are not alcoholics will never understand what it's like to be an alcoholic. And in the exact same way, us alcoholics will never know what it is like to NOT be one. If we could "suddenly choose to stop", we would have done so, years ago, before it got this bad. "Normal drinkers can just stop, but not us, that's what makes us alcoholics. Realize though, that these are all worthy suggestions, and all have their merits.

I have 2 and a half years without a drink......it seems like much longer....and that's a good thing. And you know what?...I can concentrate now. I can follow through with any realistic goal I choose to. I can see my progress now, where as before, I only saw the decline, the depression...a drunken decline, and surely, a drunken depression. The only way I knew how to fix that, was to have some more liquor.

A real alcoholic cannot "slow down" by very much at all. Maybe for short periods, but it will always seem to screw itself right back into the brain of a real alcoholic.

This is what alcoholics do. We give up our lives, slowly and painfully..... while we dutifully pay homage to the very thing that is tearing us down.

All that has got to stop. It's a mess. There is absolutly nothing that can be done about the wasted weeks and months while drunk. There is no rewind button in life. Accept that.......accept that the only choice that is left, is right now. Now is when change happens, not tomorrow or last week, now.
Do you realize that if you don't drink "now", ....and you keep not drinking "now", that you will not ever drink again? I remember the first month of quiting alcohol, and there were times when "not drinking now" kept me sober. It gets easier, a whole lot easier. It really does.
(Getting sober is not about stopping drinking, it's about stopping to start to drink, once you've stopped.)
But are you really an alcoholic? Are you finding you cannot stop when you want to ? Has drinking got you in trouble ? With who? With what? (think about your answeres, don't type them here).

You may have tried to stop before. When you have really had enough of it, you will need help. I went on years, trying harder, then harder, then even harder to quit, before I finally gave up and said to myself, "I am not in control, the alcohol is. So, if I am not in control, how can I (alone) make it stop ?....I can't."

"I" can't do it alone...... but "We" can stop it together...power in numbers.

That meeting near you ....?......how about going just once.....just to say to yourself "you tried". You know, I'll bet everyone in that meeting said to themselves before the first time......"I ain't going in there, no way." I'm not saying AA is the only way to stay sober, but statisticly, it's everybody's best bet. If you don't care for it, don't go back.

You are obviously a Live user....that means your a creative person with the ability to learn while you create. I gaurentee you, your song making skills will improve when your head clears up and you feel good about yourself.

Asking for help and advice has erroneously been acsociated with weakness but this is so completely false. Help and advice is POWER....it is knowledge acquired..........and acquired knowledge is power that you previously did not have.

=RR=

randrohe · Post by **randrohe** » Thu Feb 16, 2006 12:44 pm

i can finally post about something i have experience with. pretty heavy drinker for the last 15+ years. currently 37 yrs. have been without for over a year now. drink as much water as you can. it helped me to avoid friends drinking for the first month. after you get over your personal hump, it will become easier. alcohol is very sneaky indeed. still whispers in my ear. good luck. you can do what ever you want. my thoughts,rand

forge · Post by **forge** » Thu Feb 16, 2006 3:39 pm

probably not the best person to advise here as it's years since I've gone more than a day or 2 without one, but I've done my back in and am on strong pain killers and I've noticed my desire for alcohol is not really there.....

it is adictive, but I feel it's alot to do with what's going on in your life - what is it that makes you want a drink?

jeskola · Post by **jeskola** » Thu Feb 16, 2006 4:06 pm

forge wrote:probably not the best person to advise here as it's years since I've gone more than a day or 2 without one, but I've done my back in and am on strong pain killers and I've noticed my desire for alcohol is not really there.....

it is adictive, but I feel it's alot to do with what's going on in your life - what is it that makes you want a drink?

for me it's boredom, filling in time... usually the only time i see my friends (theyre busy - im busy - theyre not just boozing buddies - guys ive known for 20 years since i was a kid)... its very much part of the lifestyle coming from scotland - everything is done in and around the pub - its the only time i see my dad (hes not in a pub all the time - he lives in england and only comes home once a week, he goes to the pub to see his mates , so i usually go too). i do drink far too much at the moment, but im without a computer at the moment so i can be excused

but when i had the computer before the flood thats just about all i did (music and design) and i needed to get out the house and to the pub , to simply socialise!! i hate drinking in the house with other people and nevr drink on my own - i just like being amongst people/pub/club environment!!

hoever i plan to stop drinking soon as its the only way i can 100% stay off cigarettes... then the real hardness comes in - how to socialise....

hambone1 · Post by **hambone1** » Thu Feb 16, 2006 4:11 pm

Conny - I've gone through many of the same issues, although not with alcohol. As much as I didn't want to, I sought professional help to help me to get through some times I didn't think I'd make it through. They helped me more than I ever thought possible.

I second the "power in numbers" outlook. As mentioned, asking for help and advice is not a sign of weakness. IMO, it's a sign of strength.

Hang in there... you'll be OK!

smutek · Post by **smutek** » Thu Feb 16, 2006 4:54 pm

Conny, you,ve mentioned numerous times for atleast the last year that either you think you have a problem with drinking or you would like to stop drinking. I think it is probably safe to say you have a drinking problem and are probably *gasp* an alocoholic. That's ok though.

I agree with Jim S. You should go to AA and ask for help.

conny wrote:Thing is there is an AA meeting place just around the corner, but I don't dare to go there. Equals I don't have the guts to admit my problems are of that dignity. Yet.
So this may be a try to get over it a more indirect way...

// C

Sadly, this attitude is going to be your biggest stumbling block. You don't have to do this on your own.

Don't be so quick to look down on AA or think it is below you. You will find all types there, from bottom of the barrel bums to high paid doctors and lawyers. Alcoholism does not discriminate. You will find some people who had to lose everything before they asked for help, and some who just decided the pain was enough. And you will see some who lose everything but still will not stop.

AA is a fellowship of men and women who are learning to live without alocohol. Nothing more. The people there do not care what or how much you drank, what you have done, but only what you want to do about your problem and how they can help.

If you decided that you want to build a house from the ground up, would you try to do it by yourself? If you failed would you ask a pizza delivery person to teach you how? No, you would ask a carpenter, someone who knows how to build a house.

Point is, AA is a bunch of people who not only stopped drinking, but actually managed to "stay stopped" and build decent lives. These are the people with the experience to help you with your drinking problem, not rehab, not a doctor, but people who have actually experienced it and gotten through it.

And the beauty is, these people you will see in AA with 1, 5, 10, 20 years sober all started with one day. They all walked in and someone was there to help them, and now they are there to help you, and when you get sober you can be there to help others, and on and on. It is a really wonderful thing, and it works.

I have been drug and alocohol free for six years thanks to NA. (NA is pretty much the same thing as AA) But I tried for 5 years before I got clean to do it "my way". I've been to rehabilitation 5 times, detox six times, psychiatric facilities 5 or 6 times, therapy, I tried "switching drugs", "cutting back" "replacing drugs with positive things" - I tried everything. Nothing worked for me.

Also, don't let the "social acceptability" of alcohol fool you. Yes, I had a problem with heroin, but down inside it boils down to the same emotions, the same feelings that drive us to what we do, only our choice of drugs is different.

Bottom line, if you think you may have a porblem you probably do. If you havce tried to stop before but were not able then there is a problem. The question is, what are you gong to do about it?

I suggest you do yourself a favor and get your ass over to that AA meeting, raise your hand and say "hi, I'm conny, I want to stop drinking and I need help". Sure it will be scary at first, but you will end up being surprised. Some of the best people I have ever known, some of my closets friends, I met in NA.

Best of luck dude, I'm rooting for you. Remember, if I did it then so can you.

jimmy

telekom · Post by **telekom** » Thu Feb 16, 2006 11:57 pm

hi conny, hi everyone,
What an amazing thread... another one! It's true what smutek, missjade, sweetjesus and many others are saying... the drinking is a manifestation of whatever destructive feelings you're trying to deal with. Plus it's addictive... But you're moving in the right direction, if you've decided you want to drink less or nothing at all then that's the goal you're aiming for - as long as it's YOUR goal and not a perception that you "should" give up. You've identified your goal, now take some steps towards it with as much support as you can find.

Wish you all the best conny, you're very well loved here on this forum. You won't be judged round here if you don't "succeed" in reaching your goal. But go hopefully! And make some music too (I should really take my own advice sometime!)

M

kennerb · Post by **kennerb** » Fri Feb 17, 2006 12:13 am

Conny

I used to be a bottomless well. If I started drinking I would not stop until it was gone. Many times I would not be too proud of the side of my person that I would present.

I had a revelation one day.

I realized that the greater part of my day was spent making someone else money. I am always sober at work. What got me is that I would be there 100% for my job but when it was my own personal time I'd party and not be focused on what I really wanted to do. Once I got the picture that I was robbing myself and new that I was here to make music and wanted to be very serious about it the decision was actually pretty easy.

The way I figure it I am only on this ride through life once around. Between making money for someone else and being asleep it does not leave much time to follow my passions. I want to be there 100% for that.

So I haven't drank in 4 years. Well except the occasional Absynthe but that is hard to come by in the states so the opportunity isn't there that often. Not that I would allow myself to go nuts with the stuff.

Excersise is one of the biggest helps. I work out and I feel really good physically and mentally. I find I don't want to dig into most of my vices when I feel that way.

Good luck! Remember you are doing it for you!

DeadlyKungFu · Post by **DeadlyKungFu** » Fri Feb 17, 2006 12:24 am

I've found that I've replaced my mind and body's natural abilities to relax with alcohol. For a time I said I would not drink until 9PM, by that time my body/mind would use its own mechanisms to chill out after work, at that point a drink is just a drink, not a race to get down from work, so I drank less and was more grounded when I went to sleep.

Interesting point about being 100% at work and not in your personal life...

Mike Goodwin · Post by **Mike Goodwin** » Fri Feb 17, 2006 1:06 am

I would say more but i gotta start dinner. I was on my way to killing myself with drugs (this includes booze). I started going to NA meetings and listening to what others where saying. I found that I was not alone, and that was the first major step.

My best advice is to go and check out a NA meeting. It is not a cult and it is no joke. Without NA I would be dead.

Best to you.

Mike