[OT] Help to stay away from alcohol needed

[gomi]

That's about my condition.
Anxiety and depression, it "helps" to get a bit drunk but later it gets worse.

don't take this the wrong way, but you should not medicate yourself with
a depressent (alcohol) if you are depressed. It will just make matters
worse.

just stop.

[sweetjesus]

conny, all the feelings you describe i too feel.

i have a highly addictive personality and have been very badly addicted to marijuana for many many years... morning.. till night... even if i would wake up in my sleep i would smoke dope for the 10 seconds i would be awake.

i would also feel as if i cannot sleep without it.

only the for the last 4 months (about 2 weeks before camp ableton) have i been able to make any inroads to curb my addiction... how? i got the hell away from where i could not easily access the stuff... in particular taiwan & hong kong... im not sure how this advice could work for you.. maybe go to dubai?... i think the point im trying to make is that i am/was my own enemy and by restricting the abilities of my enemy (myself) i was therefor able to help myself..

on the other hand, my cigarette smoking has gone way up and i now drink regularly... where's the tradeoff...

[sweetjesus]

on a quick additional note, i made some changes in my life which require major focus.. i.e. building a music studio and arranging for my girlfriend who i met when i lived in taiwan to come be with me here in australia...

maybe instead of going to dubai, give yourself responsibilities which can make or break you and see how quickly your survival instincts kick in.

[ultrasource]

I drink all the time and don't understand how it got to this point. .

I feel I have to prove that it's possible to break that.
-- Let's go --

// C

my tendency for complete escapism makes it difficult but I'm aware of it and am making strides.

[Komputer Konfuzed]

Please encourage me to make it more than a start.


// C

The drink has robed me of many a day. When I drink I do nothing elese...
yet I still drink. I hope you get a handle on it, I may never, and my dreams will never happen....

[radeon]

[quote="conny"]Hi friends.

I have not been without beer or wine on a daily basis for a month.
It ruins me in many ways.
I've tried to commit myself to one day off, but lately that has not worked out. Always finding an excuse to pour me some in.

I want to make a contract that tomorrow I'll stay clean. At least, as a start.
Please encourage me to make it more than a start.

Don't know if I have to go down to a zero consumption or if I may find a way to handle it at situations.

Experiences?

// C[/quote

You are alcaholic i sorry to say but you drink every day so it must be truth. You need to stop total or it will not happen to work for you.

STOP

Good luck

[radeon]

Please encourage me to make it more than a start.


// C

The drink has robed me of many a day. When I drink I do nothing elese...
yet I still drink. I hope you get a handle on it, I may never, and my dreams will never happen....

True and sad. Is it me only to notice peoples in this forums have problems

I see now peoples coming to the closets to say they are addict of marijuana and now alcahols and I notices some of the peoples who say that have to be here a long time is there many sick peoples on this site? i thinking somethinks i read very strange and no one say things about it i thinkings it is young boys but its seeeing like much older peopels. Im not tried to be rude to peoples only what my eyes see>
So this man say very truthful thing I also say that marijuana make peoples NOT CREATIVE when they thinkings it make them creative i tell truthfull I never meet composer success who addict to marijuana i never meed even no success composer addict to marijuana becasue the marijuana adidictions make the people never fisnih idea i know this becasue my brother become great paint artist then he meetings a nasty woman who makes him smoke marijuana afor years and he never finsih painting only smoke after six month it is now seven year he never finish painting and work taxi. Peoples buyed his for lot of money when he was painter he spend it all now so dribving taxi and no painting BCEAUSE of MARIJAUNA
I NEVER SMOLE MARIJUANA It is bad for motivator

[DeadlyKungFu]

radeon - be cool man, he's asking for help, not judgment.

radeon translated into jive actually makes much more sense.

ah' see now sucka'ss comin' t'de closets t'say dey is addict uh marijuana and now alcahols and ah' notices some uh de sucka'ss who say dat gots'ta be here some long time. Is dere many sick sucka'ss on dis site? ah' serious. ah' dinkin' somedinks ah' read is very funky and no one say doodads about it ah' dinkin's it be yung little boys but its seeein' likes much olda' peopels, Im not tried t'be rude t'sucka's only whut mah' eyes see> So's dis joker say real trudful doodad ah' also say dat marijuana make sucka'ss NOT CREATIVE when dey dinkin's it make dem creative. ah' tell trudfull ah' neva' meet composa' success who addict t'marijuana ah' neva' meed even no success composa' addict t'marijuana becasue da damn marijuana adun didicshuns make da damn sucka's neva' fisnih idea ah' know dis becasue mah' broda' become great paint artist den he meets some nasty goat who makes him smoke marijuana afo' years and he neva' finsih paintin' sicne only smokin' afta' six mond it be now seven year he neva' finish paintin' and wo'k taxi. Sucka's stealed his fo' lot uh bre'd when he wuz painta' he spend it all now so's dribvin' taxi and no paintin' BCEAUSE uh MARIJAUNA I NEVER SMOLE MARIJUANA It be baaaad fo' motivato'

[Kenfen]

Conny, being a musician all my life I had many experiences with alcohol. It finally got the point where I was drinking and driving back from gigs and it was getting out of hand.

I know what I am going to say may "offend" some of you, but I don't care.

I got rid of alcohol in my life by prayer. I prayed for The Lord to take all desires to drink away from me. He did, and I haven't had a drink in 9 years. For me, that's amazing.

I did many stupid things with my "friend" the bottle, and let me tell you, life is sooooo much sweeter without it.

This is not for everyone, and I don't tell people what to do or that they should not drink, that's a person's own walk. I'm not here condemn anyone.

That's my story, Conny. Take courage, bro, you can beat it. I did, with God's help.

Regards,

Kenfen

[Machinesworking]

Oh jeaz! Where to begin?

I just fired my singer, this beautiful 20 year old girl, who for some strange reason is the only person I've worked with on my music who could sing to it.

She's an alcoholic, period. In November I told her to slow down or quit, that she was headed for date rape, getting molested, abused, or deservedly getting slapped because of her drunken behavior. Since then she was almost drugged and abducted by porn producers, then recently was "molested", it was hard to say the guy was at fault because she did everything she possibly could have to lead him on.

I haven't drank in about 8 years now, and it's pretty easy for me to recognize other alcoholics. If you do give it up, you have the major advantage of time to work on music, and a chance to grow up a bit. Drugs are fun, but they stunt your emotional growth, seriously, go into any bar and talk to a 50 year old, notice how immature and simple that person is.... This is an over simplification, but we all have parts of ourselves that need improving etc. and it's generally painful to deal with growth, so drugs and alcohol are a band aid that simply ends up being a larger problem.

If you can quit, it's worth it.

I miss my singer, but I couldn't watch her self destruction, and I don't want to enable it at all.

[muthafunka]

Sounds very familiar, will be 6 years without a single drink this August. Having become a non-drinker, even when a really cold beer smells great in summer or a fabulous bottle of wine just looks warm and rich...the fear of starting to DRINK again is more powerful. I used to drink for England until then and looking back can seriously see how damagingly and destructively I drank-the speed and my choice of booze too. It became worse after I stopped drugs esp. weed (repeatedly, daily for years) too. Basically was dulling pain and hiding from myself and my future. All tied up with these issues were totally debilitating panic and anxiety attacks-collapsing in Tokyo station to be carried out in an ambulance, months off work because of chronic claustrophobia/'the fear' literally driving me out of the room and onto the fire escape mid-job, inability to take trains/ride in cars for months. Just a terrible state of affairs, I won't go on. Anyway, to cut a long story short, on a long visit to UK to care for my stroke-afflicted father, my sister-in-law, who'd heard about my attacks etc just took one look at me and said very matter-of-factly, 'You're depressed, go to a doctor and get some treatment'. No drama, but it stated very simply that I had to take responsibility for myself, and that really, is where it starts.
In my case the key to breaking the habit was a third party-at about that time I had to take some medication and was told to avoid alcohol while taking it. Simple. In the same way that a smoker finds it relatively easy not to smoke when they have a cold, subventing the battle of will really helped by giving me room to experience non-drinking without the battle. Also found that if someone offers you a drink, saying 'I've quit' is just asking for trouble, but 'I can't, I'm taking some medicine' just gets zero reaction. I think that dramatising the issue only aggrandises it and makes it an even bigger hurdle to overcome.
Anyway, after a week, then 2, I was consciously aware that, 'this works...', I actually felt better, and believe me, things around that time couldn't get much worse, so I just quietly just decided to just keep going, not setting any targets or grand declarations. Nowadays some people still seem to think it's the strangest thing in the world I don't drink or they praise me for my willpower or 'being able' to 'give up', I always reply that I didn't give up, I just don't drink now...the experiment is still ongoing and the results are still postive so why bother? In reality doing less is easier...no going out to buy booze all the time, no throwing all the trash out and cleaning up, not one single hangover in nearly 6 years, faaaaar more productive and healthy, concentrating, incredibly happily married...oh, and parties and clubs aren't generally any less enjoyable than before-music is still my life, not my job, and I'll happily dance like a twat for hours if the sounds are good enough.
Quietly take responsibility for yourself and let yourself grow, test new options in life, get outside, go to the mountains, travel, anything, and really ask yourself, you'll know deep down if you're answering truthfully or not, 'is this working?'. The more conscious you are, the easier it gets.
Apols for the long post, but it's been part of the most major turning point in my life and it still feels very present and what I learnt continues to teach me, and I have the utmost respect for everyone else here admitting these things and sharing your experience and advice.

[marky]

Wise word muthfunka .. I'm much more inclined to listen to someone who has lived a little and survived than those (remaining nameless) who have never lived through these problems and do nothing but pass on judgements. I've had more than my fair share of similar issues but would rather not be too specific here.

Conny, best of luck with things. Just remember that cutting back on the drink doesn't mean you shouldn't be going out and enjoying yourself, and in fact it might be more important to keep your social support intact as you move ahead. You sound like you're on the right track now anyway

[DeadlyKungFu]

To motivate yourself, figure out how much you spend on booze and put the money into a jar, in short time you'll have money to buy more music gear.

Hopefully you can find some like minded friends to help you out. Join some groups or clubs or take a class to meet people, stay active and find other ways to spend your time, away from home, away from bars.

Tell yourself you're trying it for a month or week just to see how much better you'll feel, that might be the start of a whole new life. Baby steps.

Like someone said, drinking something 'similar' to booze works, that works for me sometimes, especially when I'm tired, I'll drink a common mixer, forget about the hooch and won't really miss it.

I like the "No thanks, can't drink, my meds won't allow it" is a good one.

[missjade]

hey conny,

first off i want to say that your honesty & determination are admirable! i think it's great that you are willing to make this commitment to yourself.

i definitely hear where you're coming from... i could go on & on but the short story is that i've always been really shy and had self esteem issues since i was a kid. so then i would find myself in these situations where there's an expectation to be outgoing & spontaneous (ie, being a musician/dj/just being in social situations period), and i'd always feel really uncomfortable and self conscious. so i would feel like i needed something to make me loosen up & be myself. i'd end up overdoing it in numerous ways, and then always felt like shit in the end-- physically & emotionally because i knew that it WASN'T really me and that i was evading the real issue: the fact that i didn't like who i was.

of course, though, this isn't about me, this is about you, so i'll shut up about that...

my point is that you talked about drinking, wanting to stop, making a contract with yourself, etc., but i think that what you need to do is not focus so much on the manifestation of your issues (=drinking) but the triggers & the underlying stuff that drive you to do it in the first place. you logically know that you don't want to continue this and that it's 'ruining' you, and yet you do it. you don't even want to do it. so it really comes down to what role it plays in your life, why you don't want it in your life but you feel like you need it (so obviously there's some conflict going on there..) and unless you understand WHY you are holding onto this self destruction, you are going to find yourself in that endless cycle:

you set these incredible expectations of yourself ("okay, i'm going to make a contract and stop drinking TODAY!:twisted: ), and when you can't meet them, you blame yourself and feel like shit (=guilt, depression, anxiety ), which usually triggers you to use again (=numbing the pain & reality), which makes you feel more hopeless & angry with yourself... then you're like, "okay, this is the last time, i SWEAR" and make an even more impossible demand on yourself. all the while you're ignoring what your reasons for drinking are and not digging into the root of the issue......

you said something about not being able to go to sleep without drinking, because you're scared of what thoughts will bubble up... why don't you try keeping a journal of these thoughts? i swear this has been my best therapy when you let these fears & doubts fester in your subconscious, they'll just intensify and sometimes become blown out of proportion..i find that when i write things out, i'll realize how irrational a lot of my fears are, and i can at least put them into a concrete form that i can examine, instead of burying them inside me and letting them eat away at my self esteem. trying to ignore them & block them out (by any method... denial, taking them out on someone, or, in your case, drinking) will only make them more powerful.

anyway, sorry i'm beginning to sound like a freakin' therapist. i wish you the best of luck, and remember, it's not a test. you don't need to stop today or tomorrow, and it's not a failure if you can't do it right away. but realizing that it's fucking your life up and that you deserve better is an awesome step & you honestly need to appreciate that. you're definitely on the right track-- just don't expect too much too soon, don't lose faith in your ability to do this, and just try to ask yourself what it is you are running away from...

*hugs*

cat

[pulsoc]

Wow. Conny and all, I feel for ya. I was a daily drinker for about 10 years. I remember looking at a bottle in my hand and feeling like it was my best friend and my worst enemy. On top of that, it was the ONE thing I could always count on - friends leave, lovers cheat, etc. Finally something gave, I tried stopping on my own, but keep slipping. What I discovered, for me at least, was that willpower wasn't going to do it. And that was because my WILL is to drink. I couldn't out think it because ultimately my THINKING led me back to drinking. And I had to ask for help. I started going to AA, made it a very big part of my life, and haven't had a drink in almost five years. AA is not as big a part of my life today, which may or may not be a good thing. BUT, I have not had a drink in almost five years, have not had one today, and hopefully will not have one tomorrow. And I know that, for me, I would not have been able to do that without AA. Feel free to PM me if you like, but most important, know many others share the same problem. My little brother is struggling with the same thing right now.