Conny, hang in there. Don't drink today!! And remember, you don't have to do this by yourself.
forge wrote:so where does that leave everyone else? by that reasoning Conny is neither because he is doing fine by himself so far (and so IMO has proven he can do it if he wants/needs to) and so where does that leave this whole thread?
That leaves this thread exactly where it started. Conny is trying to stop drinking, you are trying to decide if you have a problem or not.
If you think you have a problem then try to stop drinking. If you can stop drinking when you want then there is no problem, not anymore. But remember, if you want to stop drinking, that means you can't start drinking again. That isn't stopping. Stopping is easy, the trick is "staying stopped".
Try to control your drinking, if you can control it then there is no problem. But in all of this you really need to be totally honest with yourself. How easy is it to fool yourself that you are controlling your drinking when you are not? If you are controlling your drinking then why do you keep expressing self doubt?
Is stopping for a week, then going back to the exact same habbits really control?
Only you can answer those questions.
If you think you have a problem with drinking, ask yourself why you think you have a problem.
forge wrote:Do only the ones who need the help of an organisation have a problem?
For some reason I am beginning to think that you are really, maybe intentionally, missing the point here.
If you can quit on your own, more power to you. If you can really control your drinking, more power to you. And if you can drink, smoke weed, whatever, responsibly and never have any problems then even more power to you. Have one for me.
But if you think there is a problem, have tried to control it or even stop but have not been able to, then there is an organization that can help. Thats all.
forge wrote:Ultimately you did have the ability to control it in the end - NA/AA might have helped you on the path but it can only be you that solves it - really and we all have the ability to control it really, these organisations only guide
Yes, exactly. NA did not do anything for me. They showed me how to do it, helped me, and gave me support.
Analogies are never without flaw, but for what its worth here are two.
If I have a heavy piece of furniture to move downstairs, yes - I can try to do it myself if I need to and possible throw my back out in the process. Or I can ask a friend to help me move it.
If I want to install new wiring in my house, I can try to do it myself, through trial and error, and possibly burn down the block in the process. Or, I can have my electrician friend, who has installed wiring before, come over and help me.
Thats the whole point of NA - A shitload of people who have gotten clean, and are staying clean, helping other people to do the same. Its really that simple.
When a new person is trying to kick a drug habbit, and feels they have absoultely no hope, and they walk into a room full of former junkies, criminals, and thieves, a who's who of the criminal/drug underworld if you will - all clean for a year, 10 years, 27 years, 15 years and living good productive lives with out drugs and alcohol - that is where the power of NA is. And thats where the hope is. Its a support group, ya know?
When I meet some kid with one day clean, who went to tons of parties, maybe he was a dj, but he got fucked up on drugs so much that he lost everything and turned to crime to support his habbit. I can tell him ya know, six and a half years ago I was homeless and all I had to my name was a bookbag full of clothes. 7 and a half years ago, right now I was in jail, and 8 and half years ago I was stealing everyday, breaking into houses, robbing people on the street and sticking up stores to support a drug habbit.
Then he see's that I have been clean for just six years, and comes to my house to see the nice furniture, tv, my studio, all of my computers, my gadgets, turntables, he meets my beautifull wife, and learns that I am a deans list, honor student at my college, that I am self employed and do artwork for a living. Maybe he see's all of that shit and says wow, there is
hope! I relate to this guy, he did it, so can I.
Maybe I meet another person who never shot dope, never got into crime, never lost anything so he can't relate to me - but he meets this guy who all it took was to miss a couple mortgadge payments, or maybe he was afraid he was going to lose his business, so he got clean and has been clean for thirty years and is a thriving, successfull business owner.
I know all types of people, my crew and I were for the most part bottom of the barrell junkies, converts from the criminal underworld..... but I know a lady who's problem started when, to quote, "my maid was stealing medication from my safe, i realized I needed help", I know a doctor who was stealing some wierd anesthectic from the hospital where he worked, and I know people that all they did was drank and smoked a little pot, but for whatever reason they felt they did not have controll over it, and they are all clean in NA.
The point is, there is always someone there you can relate to. Find them.
And you don't have to go for your whole life, the reason I am still involved is because I feel I owe it to be there to help new people that may relate to me. I may save someones life.
The only difference is that NA is all inclusive and considers alcohol to be a drug, AA deals only with alocohol problems.
So its there, take it or leave it. End of story. If you don't think it is for you don't try it.
But, and this is for you and conny, if you do decide to try AA or NA, find a meeting with people you can relate to. They are out there. If you go to a meeeting and don't like it get a meeting schedule and go to a different one next time. Ask someone where other good meetings are.
I'm not saying you have to go to NA or AA, just that they are there, they are excellent support groups, and they work.
I really have to stop writing in this thread, I am supposed to be working!!!!!!
I admit, I am powerless over the "help me to stop drinking thread", that my day has become unmanageable.....