[OT] Help to stay away from alcohol needed

Geraldo · Post by **Geraldo** » Sun Apr 09, 2006 7:37 pm

[quote="missjade"]
i think someone who gets drunk/fucked up everyday and can function in their relationships & be mentally balanced is in better shape than an occasional user who becomes unraveled when they get drunk or whatever.
[quote="forge"]

Whaa..??

LOFA · Post by **LOFA** » Sun Apr 09, 2006 8:55 pm

There is a lot of truth in that statement.

I think that once you quit something the hardest part is realizing that it is a symptom of a larger weakness. I think the the weakness is the actual problem, and it is usually easy to identify because not only did it lead to drinking, etc, but it is the first voice that tells you have to keep doing something bad.

Once that voice is identified, "it" must be treated with the respect of an individual, but monitored closely like a dangerous excon on parole.

Conny, you deserve to be happy and you also deserve to be yourself. I mean, you are quite clearly yourself, as you make great art and you add so much of yourself to our silly community. Now you I think you just need to allow yourself the right to be happy yourself without a an arbitrary wall in the way. It is an unjust world and it is hard to feel like anyone has the right to feel comfortable in their own skin, but it is important that we all try to love ourselves more.

You are great, you are trying hard, and you will make it. Your already there!

missjade · Post by **missjade** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 6:58 am

Geraldo wrote:
missjade wrote: i think someone who gets drunk/fucked up everyday and can function in their relationships & be mentally balanced is in better shape than an occasional user who becomes unraveled when they get drunk or whatever.
forge wrote:
Whaa..??

meaning, there are people that can use substances and handle their mental/emotional shit enough to be able to have a little fun and not have it interfere with their daily lives... and then there are people who occasionally use, and maybe even a little bit at a time, but it affects them way deeper & is much more destructive.

basically my whole point was that addiction is not just about the frequency or amount of drinking/drugging but the reasons for needing to be intoxicated & the end result of it as well. i know people that get blazed all day everyday, and can function in their lives just fine.. i, on the other hand, get paranoid racing thoughts after a little puff

forge · Post by **forge** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 7:30 am

missjade wrote:
Geraldo wrote:
missjade wrote: i think someone who gets drunk/fucked up everyday and can function in their relationships & be mentally balanced is in better shape than an occasional user who becomes unraveled when they get drunk or whatever. meaning, there are people that can use substances and handle their mental/emotional shit enough to be able to have a little fun and not have it interfere with their daily lives... and then there are people who occasionally use, and maybe even a little bit at a time, but it affects them way deeper & is much more destructive.

basically my whole point was that addiction is not just about the frequency or amount of drinking/drugging but the reasons for needing to be intoxicated & the end result of it as well. i know people that get blazed all day everyday, and can function in their lives just fine.. i, on the other hand, get paranoid racing thoughts after a little puff

not sure if that "wha" belonged to me... something a bit weird going on with the quotes there

but I know what you mean - that little paranoid racing thoughts thing tends to be one of the triggers that get's me going for the beers

I'm certain now it's all about what's making you do it that needs to be addressed - there can be a chemical addiction side to it, but it's what's going on in your head that decides how resistant you are

Last night I went out and had one of those insanely excessive ones where I ended up staying in bed half the day today because I felt too sick to get up, threw up loads of times and am only just starting to feel a bit better in the evening - and all day I've been saying "never again" but I know that wont be the case!

forge · Post by **forge** » Sun May 21, 2006 6:32 am

LOFA wrote: Conny, you deserve to be happy and you also deserve to be yourself. I mean, you are quite clearly yourself, as you make great art and you add so much of yourself to our silly community. Now you I think you just need to allow yourself the right to be happy yourself without a an arbitrary wall in the way. It is an unjust world and it is hard to feel like anyone has the right to feel comfortable in their own skin, but it is important that we all try to love ourselves more.

You are great, you are trying hard, and you will make it. Your already there!

just felt like I wanted to bump this quote....

forge · Post by **forge** » Sun May 21, 2006 7:41 am

just been reading through this - what a great thread!

seriously thinking about pasting it into my myspace Blog

so much great input from so many people!

kennerb · Post by **kennerb** » Mon May 22, 2006 5:38 pm

This thread brought me to thoughts about Conny. I haven't seen a post from you in a while! I kinda miss some of the catmilk threads you helped to instigate. Sure beats some of the conspiricy evil gov't threads that make me feel all icky inside. Not that I don't value them but I like the humor threads that are internationally flavored. Some of y'all funny.

How are you Conny? I'm not asking about your drinking or anything. That's not my business. Just hope you are well in general and hope to see you post sometime soon.

Spikee · Post by **Spikee** » Mon May 22, 2006 6:30 pm

conny wrote:Thank you, friends.
Most appreciated.
And true, I might have to take it outside a music community.
Thing is there is an AA meeting place just around the corner, but I don't dare to go there. Equals I don't have the guts to admit my problems are of that dignity. Yet.
So this may be a try to get over it a more indirect way...

// C

Ahhh, foolish pride. I remember the days when I had foolish pride, thinking that I could actually bargain with the mental and physical disease of alcoholism. So I'd hide in my house (didn't work), only buy a 40 oz instead of a six-pack (and then go back to the store later), only take a limited amount of money with me to a bar (and then run home later to get more)...

Conny, you need to get into AA because quite simply, you can't rationalize with addiction, and you can't do it by yourself either. You need the strength of the fellowship of AA so you have someone to call, people to hang out with when all of your drinking buddies desert you (which they will, believe me) and when the time arises, you can even find one or two AA members to go with you when you have to attend a place of temptation.

Don't be a stuck-up moron. Go to AA before you kill yourself. All I see in all of your posts is "I'll see if I'll be able to resist drinking." "When the day comes I can drink glasses of wine." I'm planning a non-sober day in the future." Don't you understand yet, that this is the disease bargaining with you? You may not have drank for a while but you're not having "quality sobriety", because somewhere in your mind it's still convinced that what's happening is not a permanent thing.

Did you set out to destroy your life when you had your first and then subsequent drinks? No, but it happened. You need to accept that you're not like other people. You have a predisposition, just like many of us, to drink and to do it compulsively. And a hot oven will always be hot no matter how long it takes you to touch it again.

Please, please listen to what I say. Don't make the same mistakes that I did. You may think that I'm completely wrong and that today you need none of what I'm saying but addiction is a very patient disease -- you can go years between uses just to find that it's still there to welcome you with open arms.

forge · Post by **forge** » Tue May 23, 2006 1:08 am

Spikee wrote:.......
Please, please listen to what I say. Don't make the same mistakes that I did. You may think that I'm completely wrong and that today you need none of what I'm saying but addiction is a very patient disease -- you can go years between uses just to find that it's still there to welcome you with open arms.

well spikee!

your comments there have been the most blunt and straight down the line so far - apart from smutek who has been the most involved and strongest contributer to this thread, but if he's been the supportive brother, you've been the scolding parent!

there was definitely something more cutting about yours

I've thrown down the gauntlet again. Emailed conny to see if he wants to join me. We may not do it "publicly" in this thread this time, but then it was all the excellent words of so many people on this thread that really helped alot!

but it has also started to dawn on me how many people frequent the Abe forums and just how much this thread and it's 19 pages sticks out!!

maybe this time I'll do it through my myspace blog! and just post the link for anyone who's interested! I think half the people who were posting here are on my friends list anyway!

pulsoc · Post by **pulsoc** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 5:52 am

Um. Where the hell has Conny been?

Spikee · Post by **Spikee** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 8:46 am

forge wrote:
Spikee wrote:.......
Please, please listen to what I say. Don't make the same mistakes that I did. You may think that I'm completely wrong and that today you need none of what I'm saying but addiction is a very patient disease -- you can go years between uses just to find that it's still there to welcome you with open arms.
well spikee!

your comments there have been the most blunt and straight down the line so far - apart from smutek who has been the most involved and strongest contributer to this thread, but if he's been the supportive brother, you've been the scolding parent! there was definitely something more cutting about yours

Well, that wasn't my intent. Nor actually do I feel that I've come off as a scolding parent at all... it's just that the truth of your situation is a rather painful thing to come to realization with, a really bitter pill to swallow. I've been in your shoes and once that I realized that I really was an addict and a rather strong case, and all of the stuff that I'd have to do to fight it, the people, places and things that I'd have to avoid until (maybe) my mind and will could be strong enough to be around alcohol/chemicals without indulging... it was tough. It is all very tough, and if it's not then you aren't a true addict but rather someone who, I don't know, was maybe suffering from a case of severe hedonism and decided to simply snap out of it. I don't know, I don't know why some people just walk away and others like myself have to put in hard work, but I'm pretty certain that those that made attaining a straight life look easy didn't have the same thing going on that I did.

It's a diagnosis that nobody wants to hear. No one also wants to hear that it's not cureable -- it's only treatable. I just come off heavy though when I talk to people in the shoes that I used to wear for the reasoning that when they finally understand what the truthes are about their situation, they can come to grips with that... and then start working on their sobriety.

I do have some good news though about it -- once you hit the wagon and do everything that you have to do to stay sober, there is life afterwards. And in most ways, its a better life although I think you'll find that quitting whatever you need to quit is only like 25% of the process. At least for me, alcohol and drugs weren't the full disease as much as they were a symptom of larger problems, things that I had to face. But that's just part of living a good life and trying to be a step further on tomorrow than you were today.

I could really go on forever but I'll leave it at there. I'd be happy to talk to you more if you like in private so if you ever need to hit me up.

hambone1 · Post by **hambone1** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 9:20 am

Yeah... where's Conny?

I hope he hasn't been sucked into a tangled web of Plogue Bidule virtual cabling in a Tron sort of way... or worse...

[OT] Help to stay away from alcohol needed

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