Wow. Next worst gig ever!!

maxbaun · Post by **maxbaun** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 10:36 pm

I'm just getting ready for a gig in a few days for a little girl birthday party. It's like age 12 year olds and I find myself warping tracks like The Limbo song and The Chicken Dance. Oh mann... this is going to be a nightmare. But... Mobile DJing is good money, and I usually have good gigs like DJing at races and things for my age. But 12 year old girls... the nagging.. the nagging... "can you play Britney Spears Mr. DJ??!?!" Does anyone have anti-kid repelant by anychance that they use when they DJ these things?>

martin808 · Post by **martin808** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 10:40 pm

whoahahaha you have sold your soul. there is no going back for you. hahaha!

sweetjesus · Post by **sweetjesus** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 10:44 pm

well for a 12 year olds birthday you have to mash up your songs with appropriately titled songs or songs with lyrics like:

sweet child o mine - guns n roses
baby's got a temper - the prodigy
enter sandman - metallica
anything from kid rock

if they love animals...

March of the Pigs - Black Sabbath/Faith No More rendition
The Dogs are Howling - The Angels
Black Dog - black sabbath
The Bad Touch - the bloodhound gang

that should pretty much scar them for life.

djadonis206 · Post by **djadonis206** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 10:46 pm

What about "Baby got back"?

by our beloved Sir Mix Alot

martin808 · Post by **martin808** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 10:46 pm

I dare you to play come to daddy.

DeadlyKungFu · Post by **DeadlyKungFu** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 11:05 pm

Back mask subliminal messages like:

"Take money from mommy's purse and give it to the DJ"
"Play with matches"
"Fish don't like water"
"Hide daddy's car keys"
"Blue is orange, red is white"
"Cats go in the microwave"

smutek · Post by **smutek** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 11:14 pm

Just wear a clown suit, butchers apron, and hockey mask. Smear ketchup all over yourself so it looks like you are drenched in blood.

Set up a strobe, cut all the lights and play nothing but fast, hard, dark ass techno the whole time. Move around all twisted and wierd so you look extra creepy under the strobe. Anyone who comes near you start screaming and if they get too close just punch them.

Heed my simple advice and I can pretty much guarantee that you will never have to worry about doing that type of gig again. If they enjoy it then props, those are some cool 12 yr. olds!

maxbaun · Post by **maxbaun** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 11:21 pm

Yes. Baby Got Back is a definite track on the playlist, but i think i'm gonna play

Family Reunion- blink 182 as my track that peaks the night.

For those who don't know the lyrics:

"shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cock sucker, mother fucker, tits, tard, terd, and twat"

I'm sure they will love that. By the way, once i get out of mobile DJing, i'm going straight up to the clubs (no doubt about that). Mobile DJing is just another good extra way to make money. I mostly have good gigs, i just get one of these bad ones a year.

smutek · Post by **smutek** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 11:24 pm

So i take it your not going to try out the clown suit, hockey mask and ketchup?

Nixon · Post by **Nixon** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 11:45 pm

"you wanna play britney?"
"yeah ok, listen carefully"

then...
ying yang twins - wait till you see my dick

Voodu · Post by **Voodu** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 11:46 pm

I second the clown suit, hockey mask and ketchup. that shit rocked the last middle school dance i did!!!

EARLGREY · Post by **EARLGREY** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 11:57 pm

From Soulseek : Fiona Apple & Marilyn Manson - Pop my cherry
Catholic Girls by Zappa
And of course: dress up like Gary Glitter .......

unusable · Post by **unusable** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 2:31 am

martin808 wrote:I dare you to play come to daddy.

that would be classic!

you could throw in some of Ween's 12 Country Golden Greats

atmofunk · Post by **atmofunk** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 2:39 am

martin808 wrote:I dare you to play come to daddy.

ROFL!~1!

PLB · Post by **PLB** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 3:43 am

maxbaun wrote:
"shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cock sucker, mother fucker, tits, tard, terd, and twat"

If you're going to go this route try some Queens of the Stone Age, from R:

OOOOHHH Nicotine Valium Vicodin Marijuana Exctasy and Alcohol.... ka ka ka ka ka kakaaaa!"

the kiddies love it!