{OT} Internet = Depression

Discussion of music production, audio, equipment and any related topics, either with or without Ableton Live
Angstrom
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Post by Angstrom » Sat Apr 01, 2006 2:38 am

djadonis206 wrote: I'm not actually depressed I'm just kind of in this weird place were it seems like everywhere I look every one is having fun except me - know what I mean?
trust me, I'm not havin any fun right now

Keyser Soze
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Post by Keyser Soze » Sat Apr 01, 2006 2:47 am

djadonis206 wrote:
Keyser Soze wrote:Maybe you will feel better if you witnessed an abortion.
That's my boy - fyi I'm not actually depressed I'm just kind of in this weird place were it seems like everywhere I look every one is having fun except me - know what I mean?
Naaah. Not really. I make it a point of having more fun than anyone else otherwise I might get get depressed.
Keaton always said, "I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him." Well I believe in God, and the only thing that scares me is Keyser Soze.

HD1
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Post by HD1 » Sat Apr 01, 2006 3:02 am

there's a crazy guy in my town with no arms, bout ten years ago he tried to release a lion from a circus that was in town at the time. like i said, he's crazy.

Imagine if you couldnt jerk off ? or wipe your own ass....he must constantly have a shitty ass, at least most of the time. And what goes through his mind every time he sees a cat, hears about a cat, or lion or tiger..... does he still think 'damn I wish I didnt try and release that lion ten years ago' ....or has he managed to forget about it ?


which would you rather lose, your cock or your arms ....

its a tough one to call, but I'd lose the cock. you cant fight off a mugger with your cock, unfortunately
bing bing!

D DAS
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Post by D DAS » Sat Apr 01, 2006 3:55 am

don't get yourself down over material wants adonis, it's not worth it man.

your breathing, your here now alive and well and only for a brief moment. before you know it it is all gone. nothing lasts. so make the best out of the time your here instead of letting stupid shit get you low and cast a spell of loathing.

you make tracks and dj parties, two things you love doing. that is a bright side.

I am not doing anything I always think about doing, which should get me down but I do not let it, i just keep on keepin on. it will all unfold as it should if you are paying attention and grasping the oppurtunities as they pass.

hey, at least your part of the ableton elite special forces

LOFA
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Post by LOFA » Sat Apr 01, 2006 4:09 am

Adonis- you hit a nerve... I apologize in advance for the length of my rant.

I got pink eye and a viral infection in my throat. I should be depressed but I'm not-I could have been at work three more days this week but I wasn't.

I have a problem and I know it. I spend a lot of time that I should be spending developing my interpersonal life skills on line. Most of it on this forum. In fact, I spend more time on this forum than I do making music. There are reasons for this though. I alsways sort of felt it awkward to talk with people I had nothing in common with. So I started trying new things so that I felt more comfortable around larger groups. Unfortunately I notice that I still have avoided some very specific weakneses in how I view myself, because I still choose to surround myself in life with people with my same interests/problems, or on a computer screen where I can channel all of my undeveloped, non-hierarchical personalities (as in lofa the idiot, lofa the artistic genius, lofa the work in progress wannabe saint, lofa I used to be a real fu&*ing a&sh*le loser-), indiscriminantly apply them to an ocean of minds that are parrallel on only specific angles (see-there I go again spewing perspective drawing terms as metaphors like I think I'm special or something) knowing that a fish, or someone who actually is interested may catch.

I have recently wittnessed that by relying on the fact that someone will hear everything I say, regardless of whether or not there is a response, has trickled into the way I handle myself around others in social situations. It's wierd. I'm wierd. Getting all of the information I have ever wanted, learning that between Live and a handful of other softwares (and recently oil painting) I already have the power to mainifest my dreams in reality, and developing seemingly artifical, yet highly productive friendships with amazing people whose passions I share, has had a very intense effect on how I interact with the "outside" world.

For example: The Digital imaging teacher who refused to give me any negative feedback or constructive criticism all semester, told me my work was done weeks ahead in advance and thus I should just not come back until final presentations. She gave me an A-, with no explanation, despite several inquiring emails. Well, I just sort of decided that she was like some As&hole on a forum, and started walking by here like a boring sasha thread. Now, the art department at my college is a lot smaller than this community, and I seem to have simply made some bad logic. I have a senior show coming up, which I had no idea about, and my animation (which is roughly 30 times the minimum length and, well, really kicks ass uncompressed) is one of the few things I can share because I tranferred in just recently. Problem is I had to deal with this teacher then. Aha! Not as easy as an email (especially after my emailed questions were not returned.)

So there is a good example of how implementing cyber manners in real-life just does not compute. Now, I am nuts. I know this. But I sort of wanted to keep it on the DL long enough to make some more bad-ass connections though my departent, and maybe get back on the dean's list. It was really depressing for me recently to see how my behavior on the internet had influenced my societal handlings and politcal agilty (even despite al of the Locke and Hobbes I have been reading this semester.) Especially after I attributed some of the blame of dwindling five year relationship on her addiction to the internet.

She was an info junky. Her father was an award winning (the big kind) documentary film director. She got online when she was in elementary school-the very beginning.
Words cannot describe how badly she handled the unreasonble relationship she had with the computer nor how to process the information. It is hard for me place any blame on the internet though, because I have identified this probelm way in advance, and if it has had any negative impacts on me I was my fault, not the internet.

After three days of seeing good music, lots of midwesterners, and a whole lot of art in Chicago-internet-free, I felt like my metabolism, and lust for life was back. Of course I've been running aound being so productive in the last few weeks since that I got sick for the first time in a year.

Well, that's my rant. Read it if you want. I deserve it. Finished a nightmare paper on political philosophy, and devised new ways of implementing whole sets as live clips (fun with envelopes!) and devloped some sick arrangement page time automation ideas. It's been a long day. Fu*k information, and Fu&k the internet. I'm gonna go rent Ghostbusters.

atmofunk
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Post by atmofunk » Sat Apr 01, 2006 4:19 am

i honestly think about dropping all things electronic and becoming a park ranger at least once a week.

i'm sick of computers - i work on them all day, most conversations are through a keyboard, and my eyes can't be doing well. Then i come home and try to work on music, once again in front of another computer.

bleah
http://mixlogistics.com | http://www.myspace.com/mixlogistics | Live 6.0.3 | Oxygen8v2 | Trigger Finger

forge
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Post by forge » Sat Apr 01, 2006 4:52 am

Well....If I could say there was one thing that I got from going to Berlin and meeting the other 9 "campers" was realising that, far from being some kind of anti-social cyborg computer geek weirdos, actually all of them were very cool guys who I would have had as friends in real life had I met them in my normal world - and you know what it was this internet thingy that is the ONLY reason I know them at all, and despite having only met them in person for one weekend, I feel like I know them alot better than you could in one weekend.

And I'm certain it would be the same with any one of a number of you guys here. And quite a few people who have travelled or toured have hooked up with people they've met on here - I know there's some I'd want to chase up if I was in their neck of the woods, and these days it's easy to travel.

The point of the internet is you are able to select people from a VERY specific group that are into exactly the things you're into out of nearly 6 billion in the world you've got a much better chance of meeting people with something in common this way than you do staying in your own neighbourhood.

And to top it off, they're all from different countries from all over the world, so they each have a different perspective

What an amazing priviledge! you just cant do that any other way

Machinesworking
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Post by Machinesworking » Sat Apr 01, 2006 7:23 am

djadonis206 wrote: That's my boy - fyi I'm not actually depressed I'm just kind of in this weird place were it seems like everywhere I look every one is having fun except me - know what I mean?
Welcome to my world, but really, what the fuck is fun anyway? fun is two hookers and an eight ball! :twisted:

atmofunk
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Post by atmofunk » Sat Apr 01, 2006 8:02 am

forge wrote:What an amazing priviledge! you just cant do that any other way
despite what i said above i have to say i totally agree with what you said as well. I picked up and moved from Vancouver BC to Orange County, California for a new job purely based on the people i met online. I have made a ton of cool new friends down here and admittedly am working a job that is a million times better than what i was doing back home -- All because i met people with similar thoughts on approaches to design/motion in a forum very similar to this one :)

so yes -- awesome, and truly unprecedented, these times we live in!

My other 'issues' stem from overexposure.
http://mixlogistics.com | http://www.myspace.com/mixlogistics | Live 6.0.3 | Oxygen8v2 | Trigger Finger

krank
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Post by krank » Sat Apr 01, 2006 11:02 am

djadonis206 wrote:
Keyser Soze wrote:Maybe you will feel better if you witnessed an abortion.
That's my boy - fyi I'm not actually depressed I'm just kind of in this weird place were it seems like everywhere I look every one is having fun except me - know what I mean?
I remember checking out your myspace site a while ago and got the impression you're having more fun than most people, being a pretty decent guy as well.

forge
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Post by forge » Sat Apr 01, 2006 11:55 am

LOFA wrote:Adonis- you hit a nerve... ........ It's wierd. I'm wierd. Getting all of the information I have ever wanted, learning that between Live and a handful of other softwares (and recently oil painting) I already have the power to mainifest my dreams in reality, and developing seemingly artifical, yet highly productive friendships with amazing people whose passions I share, has had a very intense effect on how I interact with the "outside" world.

For example: The Digital imaging teacher w......

So there is a good example of how implementing cyber manners in real-life just does not compute. .......... Especially after I attributed some of the blame of dwindling five year relationship on her addiction to the internet.
..........
not even sure which bits I'm quoting..but it made me think it's interesting to point out that we are people of a new age and it's taking alot of adjustment. No one has ever had technology like this (at least not that we're aware of - but that's a different story...)

It's bizarre to say the least, and the whole Berlin weekend we all kept saying things like "shit YOU are Hoffman2k! (or whoever! :wink: ) right here and you're real??!!" and really soaking up the weirdness of it - and it really did also make it clear how much more you get out of actually being in the same room as people to actually talk in real time, rather than typing a bit, editing, wating for a reply etc etc (and Smutek and Ropeypunters dialogue in the Nazi UFO thread shows where that can lead!! :lol: )

but man, it is a weird way to communicate and even more bizarre is how much it can take over your life, or at least eat up alot of hours - but one way I like to look at it is....when I was 16 I was having some pretty big life issues and I was a mess, and one of the best things anyone ever did for me was when my mum bought me a note book - just a blank book to write shit in - like a journal - it was just this perfect way of organising thoughts and figuring my head out, and offloading alot of shit - and it really worked - really made me feel better. I dont do it any more, but I spend so much time writing online (mostly here) that it has kind of taken it's place

And even though I've been to Berlin and seen first hand and been shocked and a bit embarrassed by how much of it actually gets read, swearing I would be much more sparing with what I write - still here I am back to normal, writing pages of shit - and if you really wnt to scare yourself, copy and paste it into word - then you'll see just how much you are writing!

I have even actually thought of going through all my posts and saving them to word so I have some kind of journal for these last 3 years because this forum would be pretty much it

another way to look at it is it's like practise at writing - it has to have benefits just thinking about how to structure sentences, editing, which bits to delete etc etc

forge
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Post by forge » Sat Apr 01, 2006 12:14 pm

djadonis206 wrote:
Keyser Soze wrote:Maybe you will feel better if you witnessed an abortion.
That's my boy - fyi I'm not actually depressed I'm just kind of in this weird place were it seems like everywhere I look every one is having fun except me - know what I mean?
it's the plight of modern man Adonis. - we're raised to want more - to never have enough - greed - over indulgence - more more more

I actually sat down and timed one of the main free TV stations here that has alot of the programs I watch and at peak times they have 4 minutes of the program and 3 minutes of ads - no word of a lie - that is absolutely disgusting and makes me feel violated

- and get this sometimes even during those 4 mins of program they put subtitles accross the bottom of the screen with more ads! you cant see the closing credits because it moves to the corner of the screen to make way for the ads - it makes me feel totally insane and we keep swearing to stop watching it but want to watch those programs so we put up with it.

and for musicians it's worse because you need that high that you get from your music or being on stage - so normal life becomes quite hard to handle sometimes - everything can seem boring


I think these days we all need to take lessons in simplicity and being content with simple things and with what we have - it's hard to shake that brainwashing we've all grown up with and are fed everyday that we need more and more - we dont - we dont need much at all really

mercyplease
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Post by mercyplease » Sat Apr 01, 2006 3:53 pm

LOFA wrote: So there is a good example of how implementing cyber manners in real-life just does not compute.
.
Your right of course. Some of the stuff I see written on forums is just plain weird. Theres one poster on this thread who is definitely weird. Am I the only one to notice this guy? If he said that in a bar the people I know would steer clear of him.

forums attract weirdos and pretenders and. Just because someone knows the names of shit doesnt automatically make that person credible.

Participating in forums (heavily) is a sure way to destroy anyones musical ambitions = depressing. I think if your feeling depressed the only way out is to ditch the forums completely and work on your music.

I havent met a famous DJ or producer yet who got there while writing thousands of posts on forum, Their usually to busy promoting themselves and thats how they get to play in those large events with hot women all around.

djadonis206
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Post by djadonis206 » Sat Apr 01, 2006 4:07 pm

I don't know about the stripper part - but AdamJay has about 4k posts on a music forum - tons of releases and plays some pretty big parties / The covert operators have a few millions posts and still manage to put together 1000's of patches for you to use - SweetJesus ain't coming up short when it comes to posts and I must say his music's pretty solid (just to name drop and prove you wrong) - so you're wrong

I don't think a forum has anything to do with it - some people participate pretty heavily in all kinds of weird shit and still manage to keep it real - no matter what they do...I think it's called multi tasking - see I'm doing it right now, typing and working on music (Go figure, I didn't know that was possible)

Some people sit at work and post then go home and dont post they work on music - some people post on the weekends and some other people just post (like on the bus or at a cafe) and don't even make music, or have none to show for all the posts they may or may not have.

If you're saying I'm weird because I make fun of jews and aborted fetus's and German's and Asian people and someone in some bar would beat me up because of that, that's weird - you know some people are really realer than you think! and some people don't make fun of that kind of shit they believe it.

All we can do on this board is share knowlegde, our music and crack some jokes - god forbid if we travel and happened to meet some of these cats in real time / real life - have a beer / some coffee and smoke a joint - enjoy each others music and company <-- I'm always up for that (except for not making it to Machinesworkings gig (because I tied one on the night before) but I've seen Pitch Black play when they came to town, I meet AdamJay at a Tronic Treatment party in Miami (before I was a member of this board) he gave me a cd with his hand photocopied on it I think. and you know people PM each other all the time so...

So if you think I'm weird, whatever, I am - but honestly if I wasn't being real, I wouldn't be this weird

And for the record again, personally I'm not depressed in the clinical since - I'm just like fuck why can't I be a Carl Cox, Roger Moore kind of guy who dates Jessica Simpson and wins grammys like Deep Dish <-- TODAY, maybe after my big record drops but I mean TODAY RIGHT NOW!

Oh FYI alot of very well known producers post all over the internet 1000's of time's daily 8O
Last edited by djadonis206 on Sat Apr 01, 2006 4:21 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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djadonis206
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Post by djadonis206 » Sat Apr 01, 2006 4:11 pm

And alot of well know producers / dj's / labels pay attention to these boards and if your music rocks they'll let you know :wink:
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