how do you deal with girlfriend and music

b0unce · Post by **b0unce** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 1:35 pm

drink a bottle of whiskey and smash it off the wall or floor near where your spouse is standing.

that usually does the trick. best to give her the vietnam stare too.

brightonalex · Post by **brightonalex** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:04 pm

They're all nuts, i ended up having to make Tuesday nights the evening when I make music. So when am I supposed to look at Joebobs.com?

The other day she (my better half) said "I can't help thinking we'd be happier if we had a bit more space" (as in a bigger flat).

I said I found that astonishing, as she gets in a rage if I spend a few hours in the spare bedroom with the computer. Did she mean she wanted more space between our respective sofas, so there was further to pass the crisps when we're watching 24?

HELL NO!! if I could afford to live on my own and was able to keep my immediate environment clean and hygienic I'd be OUT OF THERE. yes sirree. can't buy freedom.

Oh and when I said I'd be unhappy if I couldn't make music, she commented that I had never completed a tune, and what I had done was rubbish. OUTRAGEOUS. Just because she's not gifted, like me. She'll be sorry when I'm famous and she's NOTHING.

b0unce · Post by **b0unce** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:15 pm

lol, someone needs a bottle of JD.

brightonalex · Post by **brightonalex** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:23 pm

Yes she does, and a handful of pills.

b0unce · Post by **b0unce** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:25 pm

LOFA · Post by **LOFA** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 3:42 pm

My girlfriend is more engaged in her hobbies than I am. I am happy.

djshiva · Post by **djshiva** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 4:24 pm

there are some great ideas and great stories being shared right now.

i really like this one:

Marquis wrote:I had a similar problem with my girl, until we had a serious chat about it.

I told her, with absolute honesty, that for the first time in my life I was passionate about something. By "something" I mean as in hobby/job - not as in person - I didn't want her thinking music and she were competing for my attention. She did think that. And it was hard to change that idea.

I reassured her that I loved her and love spending time with her, but that I had to pursue my dreams or else I'd wither and die.

I asked her how she'd feel if she woke up one day and found herself realising that I was unhappy in my life because I'd stopped being myself to become the person she wanted me to be.

I also began sharing my creations with her, getting her opinion on the songs as they happen. That way she felt a part of my dream, having some say in it all. This was made easier by starting conversations about music I knew _she_ liked first, Didn't even have to be the same style - I just got her talking about music in an open way, show her how I valued her opinion. Then when I say "Hey, can I play you then tune we made last night? I love it, but I wanna hear what you think".... well, she feels included.

So through those methods, plus making sure the shared time together was really special (cooking her dinner, offering to watch a movie with her etc etc), we forned a mutual, well-balanced respect for each other. Even to the stage where she said if I wanna drop back my day job hours to work on music, she'd support me for a while (liek I supported her through uni), that would be fine.

She even came out to visit me in my studio space (she rarely does) on the weekend, and wanted to know what I was doing. So I played her the tune I was working on, and she liked it. I asked her what she thought it needed, and she said some vocals. So I chucked the mic in front of her and said "go for it". She laid down some nonsense no-word doo bee doo bee type melody, but it sounded cool. I then before her very eyes/ears started looping and adding effects and tripping it right out, which she thought was amazing. I'm now in the process of remixing it and seeing if I can make a serious tune out of it!

Have faith, John - as others have explained above, many/most of us go through this. But I'm 100% sure that the ones who find a solution do so through communication.

Good luck buddy.

i am also glad to see so many guys who dig their girls and their music and work to find a balance that keeps them and their girls happy.

in the end, it IS all about balance.

good luck to everyone who struggles with this, and keep up the creative solutions!

dhilsabeck · Post by **dhilsabeck** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 7:57 pm

snowtires wrote:
djshiva wrote: wow...thanks for that sexist piece of shit diagram.
what's wrong with being sexy?

brightonalex · Post by **brightonalex** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 10:09 pm

Well I took your advice and told the missus that if she wouldn't let me on the computer I would wither and die.

She said "are you sure you're not gay" and then said "I don't care wither you die or not.
She's out of order isn't she DJ_Shiva.

M. Bréqs · Post by **M. Bréqs** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 11:54 pm

brightonalex wrote:Well I took your advice and told the missus that if she wouldn't let me on the computer I would wither and die.

She said "are you sure you're not gay" and then said "I don't care wither you die or not.
She's out of order isn't she DJ_Shiva.

Dude, if she was joking, that was cool. If not, I wouldn't tolerate that shit for a second.

Tell her she's getting kinda fat, and if she lost maybe 15 pounds you might consider paying more attention to her.

Then suggest she try this:

But replace the contents of the package with this:

You'll never have to excuse yourself again, and you'll slowly stop loving her while she baloons. That way you won't care if she guilts you. Besides, as she porks out and you wave the threat of dumping her over her head, she'll become a lot less snotty to you, as she realizes that you're the best a fatty can now hope for.

By the way, I'm joking too.

...Though I had a friend who did that to his sisters in high school. Incredibly cruel, but they were real twats to him (emotionally abusive older sisters - they really deserved it).

djadonis206 · Post by **djadonis206** » Thu Jun 15, 2006 2:05 am

just kick it dawg - you do need to find a missus who has a life though - my old lady was always studying and then working on getting criminals out jail so I got to sit in my room and make beats - easy

problem was when the weekends rolled around and I wanted to watch TV she wanted hike and go out to her parents cabin and sit by the fire with no TV - I didn't understand, NO TV on my days off?!?!?!?

No TV? Hello

this was more of a problem than music - I pay a stupid amount of money on television every month because it's awesome, so when I'm not kicking it in my spare bedroom I need to be watching TV

she wanted to go out dancing and exploring and dog parking <--- sounds cool if you're a hippy, but what about my precious TV, it's not just TV it's DIRECTV <---- you've seen the Ad's!!!!!

She loves the beats and goes to my DJ gigs and we have fun but the conflict revolves around my obsession with DIRECTV -

See as a kid my parents made me do little league and homework - made me do chores and join stupid after school programs - I hated them for that

now I am older and my children will not go one day without a least 4 hours of DIRECTV

1 hour of NBC - either Law and Order or well Law and Order NBC sucks
.5 hours of Comedy Central - South Park changed my life hopefully it'll do the same for them
.5 hours of Comedy Central - South Park changed my life hopefully it'll do the same for them
yes i said that twice
1 hours of HBO - which is not really TV, it's HBO
1 more hour of HBO because well it's not really TV, it's HBO

see, what I'm trying to get at here is if music is your major concern right now, don't sweat it - make your time in front of your laptop worth it and make your time with her worth it

it's when the bitch starts butting into territory she's got no business getting into, I'm talking about DIRECTV time

men have died for this, I'll die for it - I love it that much...Now if you'll excuse I have some TV to watch - there's a great special on the Sci-FI channel and I've got some Dog Whisperer's TiVo'd I need to catch up on

On and if anyone was paying attention - I've been deathly ill the last 2 and half days so I wanted to see how many continuous episodes of South Park I could watch

I have 62 episodes TiVo'd that's 8 per page - I got through 4 and half pages...I did cheat and skipped a couple that were just recently shown on CC

did you know a 1/2 hour show takes 18 minutes to watch TiVo'd - that's fucking 12 minutes of commercials - WTF!!!

Matt and Trey just care about their precious money

but as of right now my favorite episodes are

Cat Orgy
Butter's Very Own Episode
Bebe's boobs destroy society

you and your girl should have a south park marathon and see where your relationship stands after that

Needs2Know · Post by **Needs2Know** » Thu Jun 15, 2006 4:37 am

Girls are DREAM KILLERS! RUN!!!

djshiva · Post by **djshiva** » Thu Jun 15, 2006 4:48 am

brightonalex wrote:Well I took your advice and told the missus that if she wouldn't let me on the computer I would wither and die.

She said "are you sure you're not gay" and then said "I don't care wither you die or not.
She's out of order isn't she DJ_Shiva.

LOL...if you wither and die, that's gonna make it a lot harder to get your half of the rent outta you, isn't it?

brightonalex · Post by **brightonalex** » Thu Jun 15, 2006 9:49 am

Ha ha DJAdonis. "TV is awesome".

But what is "dog parking"? Is it the same as "dogging" in the UK?

DJ_Shiva - she's the rich one, the rent I pay her is PEANUTS to her. PEANUTS.

minimal · Post by **minimal** » Thu Jun 15, 2006 10:47 am

djadonis206 wrote:now I am older and my children will not go one day without a least 4 hours of DIRECTV

1 hour of NBC - either Law and Order or well Law and Order NBC sucks
.5 hours of Comedy Central - South Park changed my life hopefully it'll do the same for them
.5 hours of Comedy Central - South Park changed my life hopefully it'll do the same for them
yes i said that twice
1 hours of HBO - which is not really TV, it's HBO
1 more hour of HBO because well it's not really TV, it's HBO

Poor little kids

how do you deal with girlfriend and music

nuts

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Re: !!

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