Christopher Walken now has Clip Coloring Service

Discussion of music production, audio, equipment and any related topics, either with or without Ableton Live
Christopher Walken
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Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2007 3:08 am

Christopher Walken now has Clip Coloring Service

Post by Christopher Walken » Thu Oct 18, 2007 3:07 am

I am now offering a service for people where I will visit you, in your house, studio or whatever and personally color your clips. Coloring clips can be time consuming, stressful and a real pain for artists. When the daunting task of clip coloring arises, many people quickly look the other way. But let me help...

I will come to your house. Then I help put you to sleep so that you are completely unconscious during the whole clip coloring process. While you are unconscious, I will go through your session and color your clips based on color schemes and themes that we have come up with during the initial consultation. Depending on the size of the session, this might take all night. In this case, I will help put your kids and wife to sleep too before resuming the clip coloring.

Imagine me, Christopher Walken, in your room/studio tediously coloring all of the clips in your session, while you effortlessly sleep the night away.

When you wake up in the morning, your session will be completely colored with a vast rainbow of colors.

The price is $199 per session. Please PM me for more info.
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Vercengetorex
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Location: Brooklyn, NYC
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Re: I got clips that need color

Post by Vercengetorex » Thu Oct 18, 2007 3:18 am

Do you service Brooklyn? I have about 1200 clips I need colored. I am willing to pay additional fees for breakfast in bed.
I cant think of a sig

Pitch Black
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Location: Auckland New Zealand
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Post by Pitch Black » Thu Oct 18, 2007 3:23 am

Dear Mr Walken,

YES!

Please book me for your clip colouring service. I hope you don't mind coming down to New Zealand. I promise you we have no Maori P.O.W. camps here, AFAIK.

With respect, Mr Walken you are such a cool dude would it be possible to forego the sleep part of the operation? I would much rather stay up and hang out/play Russian Roulette etc. I could say to my friends that I went to sleep, but instead I stayed up hanging out with Christopher Walken.

I hope you will give these requests your favourable attention. If I can be of any assistance, or if you have any further queries, please don't hesitate to PM me anytime.


Kind Regards,
Pitch Black

sparklepuff
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Location: Brooklyn

Post by sparklepuff » Thu Oct 18, 2007 4:08 am

I too, am in Brooklyn, and I have a strange request. I have about 243 Ableton Live sets that contain on average 3 clips. Do you charge simply by the colouring session, or by the number of Live Projects you operate on? Could us folks in Brooklyn get a group rate? You can put us all to sleep in the same room and colour all of our clips if it isn't too much work. Thanks for your consideration.
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scientist
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Location: seattle

Post by scientist » Thu Oct 18, 2007 4:28 am

you should offer a group buy.

blaugruen7
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Post by blaugruen7 » Thu Oct 18, 2007 5:48 am

do you do oversea coloring?

if yes, count me in!

fatrabbit
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Post by fatrabbit » Thu Oct 18, 2007 8:54 am


blaugruen7
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Post by blaugruen7 » Thu Oct 18, 2007 9:02 am

hmm.
i am too old finding this funny.

Lo-Fi Massahkah
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Post by Lo-Fi Massahkah » Thu Oct 18, 2007 2:19 pm

blaugruen7 wrote:hmm.
i am too old finding this funny.
Old or humor-less?

blaugruen7
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Post by blaugruen7 » Thu Oct 18, 2007 5:20 pm

Lo-Fi Massahkah wrote:
blaugruen7 wrote:hmm.
i am too old finding this funny.
Old or humor-less?
both

Christopher Walken
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Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2007 3:08 am

Post by Christopher Walken » Thu Oct 18, 2007 6:31 pm

My new clip coloring service has over 3 million people signed up already! All I can say is... "wow"

Because of the enormous success of this, I am also offering clip counting services and muting services.

You will go to sleep and I will sneak in through a back window or your chimney. While you are sleeping I will count all of your clips in your session. When I am finished, I will write the number of clips on a piece of paper and leave it by your coffee machine. By the time you wake up, you won't even know that Christopher Walken was there tediously counting all of your clips in the middle of the night. The only evidence will be the piece of paper with the number of clips written down on it. If you want to add more clips or take some away, I can come back the following night and recount them all!


The clip muting service is a bit different - I will actually put you to sleep for a solid 10 hours. While you are dreaming... I will go into your session and mute all of your clips. I will use my new "special muting clip technology" to do this. When you awake, 10 hours later I will have left you a full breakfast and all of your clips will be muted. I can also drive your kids to school depending on how far it is, traffic, etc.

So what are you waiting for? Sign up before it's too late!
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kineticUk
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Post by kineticUk » Thu Oct 18, 2007 6:35 pm

Christopher Walken wrote:You will go to sleep and I will sneak in through a back window or your chimney. While you are sleeping I will count all of your clips in your session. When I am finished, I will write the number of clips on a piece of paper and leave it by your coffee machine. By the time you wake up, you won't even know that Christopher Walken was there tediously counting all of your clips in the middle of the night. The only evidence will be the piece of paper with the number of clips written down on it. If you want to add more clips or take some away, I can come back the following night and recount them all!
:lol:
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penningt
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Location: Fleet, UK

Post by penningt » Thu Oct 18, 2007 7:12 pm

I would like you to mute and colour just one special clip that I have (it has a midi key assigned to it - I assume that won't be a problem no?) then I want you to read me a story. You can tuck me up in my bed and then you can sleep on my floor. I take it you are available tomorrow for this, I am in the UK.

cosmosuave
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Post by cosmosuave » Thu Oct 18, 2007 8:03 pm

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nowtime
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Location: Homefree

Post by nowtime » Thu Oct 18, 2007 10:00 pm

This is LAME BULLSHIT!

John Malkovich has got it way up on you Christo!
Check his website for clip manipulation housecalls.

http://www.westlord.com/john-malkovich/

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