Would Jesus be considered a zombie upon rising from the dead

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Would Jesus be considered a zombie upon rising from the dead?

Yay
31
69%
Nay
14
31%
 
Total votes: 45

liveISlife
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Would Jesus be considered a zombie upon rising from the dead

Post by liveISlife » Sun Mar 23, 2008 7:47 pm

Jesus of the dead coming soon to theaters everywhere

Spackled Bat
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Post by Spackled Bat » Sun Mar 23, 2008 8:03 pm

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stonee
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Post by stonee » Sun Mar 23, 2008 8:24 pm

jesus never died, he was just a REALLY heavy sleeper.

3dot...
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Post by 3dot... » Sun Mar 23, 2008 11:08 pm

I'd buy that for a dollar...
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Grappadura
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Post by Grappadura » Mon Mar 24, 2008 12:41 am

excellent question!

Angstrom
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Post by Angstrom » Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:14 am

Seasonal time to examine the fairy stories. I'm not a bible thumper .. but there's so interesting stuff hidden in the 'heretical' books.

Jesus didn't die, it was his twin brother Judas who took the fall.
Judas was also known as "Judas Thomas Didymus", also known as doubting Thomas.
the name "Thomas" comes from the Aramaic word for twin: T'oma , while Didymus comes from the Greek for twin.

there was a bit about him in the Nag Hammadi texts

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Th ... _Contender
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gospel_of_Thomas

although mainstream Christians like to call these texts 'heretical' *chortle* , the "gospel of Thomas" has been accurately dated to to around 50ad. And is well regarded by many theologians. IE, its not just nutters.

craftycurate
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Post by craftycurate » Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:44 am

Angstrom wrote:Seasonal time to examine the fairy stories. I'm not a bible thumper .. but there's so interesting stuff hidden in the 'heretical' books.

Jesus didn't die, it was his twin brother Judas who took the fall.
Judas was also known as "Judas Thomas Didymus", also known as doubting Thomas.
the name "Thomas" comes from the Aramaic word for twin: T'oma , while Didymus comes from the Greek for twin.

there was a bit about him in the Nag Hammadi texts

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Th ... _Contender
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gospel_of_Thomas

although mainstream Christians like to call these texts 'heretical' *chortle* , the "gospel of Thomas" has been accurately dated to to around 50ad. And is well regarded by many theologians. IE, its not just nutters.
The Gospel of Thomas is a Gnostic Gospel i.e. the elitist "you gotta have the secret knowledge" which is quite at odds with the "open to anyone" message of the mainstream Gospels and the teachings of Jesus ...
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forge
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Post by forge » Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:46 am

Angstrom wrote:Seasonal time to examine the fairy stories. I'm not a bible thumper .. but there's so interesting stuff hidden in the 'heretical' books.

Jesus didn't die, it was his twin brother Judas who took the fall.
Judas was also known as "Judas Thomas Didymus", also known as doubting Thomas.
the name "Thomas" comes from the Aramaic word for twin: T'oma , while Didymus comes from the Greek for twin.

there was a bit about him in the Nag Hammadi texts

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Th ... _Contender
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gospel_of_Thomas

although mainstream Christians like to call these texts 'heretical' *chortle* , the "gospel of Thomas" has been accurately dated to to around 50ad. And is well regarded by many theologians. IE, its not just nutters.
yeah actually my religious studies teacher in year 12 told us about this (fortunately he was a history teacher, not a nutjob) - he said there was a claim that Jesus went on through India and ended up in the south

interesting stuff - I wonder how much valuable text the Romans and catholics burnt over the years

Homebelly
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Post by Homebelly » Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:53 am

craftycurate wrote: The Gospel of Thomas is a Gnostic Gospel i.e. the elitist "you gotta have the secret knowledge" which is quite at odds with the "open to anyone" message of the mainstream Gospels and the teachings of Jesus ...
At the risk of this thread turning very silly, i'm gonna have to call bull shit on this statement.
Gnosticism is way to broad a philosophy to call it elitist, especially when compared to the more indoctrinated lines of Christianity which has plenty of revelatory aspects to it that are only available to those high enough up in the clergy.
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craftycurate
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Post by craftycurate » Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:05 am

Homebelly wrote:At the risk of this thread turning very silly, i'm gonna have to call bob sled on this one.

Gnosticism is way to broad a philosophy to call it elitist, especially when compared to the more indoctrinated lines of Christianity which has plenty of revelatory aspects to it that are only available to those high enough up in the clergy.
No need to be offensive. You can disagree in a civil tone.

What you describe sounds much closer to Scientology, or first century mystery religions, or some kind of religious cult ... but then I don't know if you're referring to a specific group you've experieced or if you're making a general claim.
Last edited by craftycurate on Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

forge
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Post by forge » Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:05 am

sadly I think any texts that really reveal the truth have probably been long since destroyed - there is no way the catholic church would have allowed shit like that to remain

Angstrom
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Post by Angstrom » Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:08 am

It's not correct to call them Gnostic. They are more accurately 'Apocrypha'. Any of this stuff could have been included in the Bible really. I mean 'Revelation was one of these nutty books for a while and only got added relatively late. Revelation is certainly much more fruity than a lot of this stuff !
http://www.earlychristianwritings.com/apocrypha.html

Also, the distinctions which are now made on 'this is Gnostic' and 'that is Accepted' are only ones which are made now. Way back in the past there were just a big stack of different religious texts which could be classed as 'related to Jesus' . The selection that is included in 'the bible' is based a lot on 5th Century politics.

Saul /Paul based himself in Rome and got a few sponsors there. "James the Just" and the Jerusalem group were just too 'Jewish' (!)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_the_Just

It's an odd thing to say that the Pauline interpretation is the acceptable one, but the James interpretation is not.
Paul and James disagreed over Paul's methods in Rome, this caused a schism and anyone who sided with James got edited out of the Pauline Bible, so describing the non-pauline texts as Gnostic isn't entirely accurate.

these texts were all equally circulated at the time, but the Roman church got better organised as it was based on the structures of the failing Roman Empire. The alternative version was on the run and hiding in Greece.
forge wrote:sadly I think any texts that really reveal the truth have probably been long since destroyed - there is no way the catholic church would have allowed shit like that to remain
well, do you know what the Nag Hammadi is?
for a long time the church denied the existance of certain 'hidden books' then they all turned up in a big multi-lingual cache and they were outside the Vatican control.

Ooops !

they are of variable merit of course, but some of them are whole manuscripts, and are duplicates of manuscripts which were only available in fragments previously. IE - they are not forgeries, and very very old.


anyone who read this far and is arsed at all about the weird history of the church I totally recommend the Gospel of Mary. It will make you think about the biblical Jesus in a whole new way .. that guy was cosmic !

http://reluctant-messenger.com/gospel-magdalene.htm
Last edited by Angstrom on Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

forge
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Post by forge » Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:19 am

Angstrom wrote: well, do you know what the Nag Hammadi is?
for a long time the church denied the existance of certain 'hidden books' then they all turned up in a big multi-lingual cache and they were outside the Vatican control.

Ooops !

they are of variable merit of course, but some of them are whole manuscripts, and are duplicates of manuscripts which were only available in fragments previously. IE - they are not forgeries, and very very old.
no I hadn't heard of it until then, thanks.
http://www.gnosis.org/naghamm/nhl.html
http://www.nag-hammadi.com/

beats me
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Post by beats me » Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:20 am

Not to be on/off topic here, but I have an uncle who is a priest and also a professor at USF. You can throw that vow of poverty crap right out the window. He lives on a hill in SF that overlooks the bay and city in what amounts to a palace. There is a fully stocked and staffed kitchen. They have an entertainment room with a huge flat screen and surround sound. All the priests have a happy hour every day with a fully stocked bar. He is constantly traveling the world and on a golf course somewhere. The only thing missing is he is not getting laid. It's still a pretty pimpin lifestyle if you ask me.

At Easter dinner tonight the topic of God didn't come up once other than the prayer before we ate.

Angstrom
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Post by Angstrom » Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:22 am

I was wondering about a career change and you just sold it to me.
I'm sure I could get a fuck into the equation somewhere.
;)

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