Royal family wedding can suck my left nut

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john gordon
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Royal family wedding can suck my left nut

Post by john gordon » Sat Apr 30, 2011 12:29 am

give me a break...

pulsoc
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Re: Royal family wedding can suck my left nut

Post by pulsoc » Sat Apr 30, 2011 5:46 am

Elaborate.

Forge.
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Re: Royal family wedding can suck my left nut

Post by Forge. » Sat Apr 30, 2011 6:36 am

I'm sure they'd love to. I'll forward this thread on to my contacts and let you know what they say.

d.reamonn
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Re: Royal family wedding can suck my left nut

Post by d.reamonn » Sat Apr 30, 2011 6:43 am

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2011/04/28/ ... eta-chump/

Prince William: Beta Chump

Kate Middleton, a rather mannish-looking princess-to-be (get a load of that wedge-shaped chin), has excised the ‘obey’ part from her wedding vows. Her feminist sensibilities have got the best of her, so she will not be vowing any obedience to her Prince. Perhaps William could take a page from her book and alter his wedding vows to suit a more contemporary interpretation:

“I, beta supremo, take thee, annoying ballbuster, to be my lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love as a legally recognized equal in every way except for those times I’m required to prop her on a pedestal and sing her praises to all and sundry, till death or a financial catastrophe from divorce us do part, according to culturally specific traditional folkways; and thereto I plight thee the last vestige of my manly fortitude.”

I’m sure Kate batted her eyelashes and glowed a bit in the cheeks when she kindly asked directed William to accept her changes to the traditional English wedding vows, and I’m sure William, being the good enlightened poodleboy he is, pretended to happily agree, figuring that she would love him even more for his understanding and progressive attitude.

I’ve got news for ya, ol’ chap. She won’t. In fact, she’ll likely come to resent you for caving to her demands.

To understand this female peculiarity with issuing demands they don’t really want to see acceded, you have to envision that each woman has two mouths. One mouth, the face mouth, says the words that your ears actually hear. This is the mouth that concatenates and delivers the sentence fragments that form in the prefrontal cortex of her mind. She means these words, inasmuch as that part of her brain retains control over the other parts of her brain. Unfortunately, that is rarely the case.

The other mouth, the vagina mouth, only says words that her hindbrain hears. These are words not meant for either your ears or her ears. Her hamster, though, does hear them, and his job is to spin those words, devilish as they are, into palatable rationalizations which are then shuttled to the polite and civilized cortex for mastication.

So, the face mouth says ‘I will not obey and he better agree with me’, while the vagina mouth whispers ‘Jesus, if he bends to my feminist will I’m going to dry up in bed and start daydreaming of the gruff bouncer at Shariadiscoteque.’

Before I knew of this ‘obey’ tidbit, I would have given this celebutard marriage pretty good odds of surviving to the decrepit end. After all, she is marrying a prince. And she’s not exactly the hottest babe he could have snagged. But now that this has come out, I revise my estimate downward. The chance of Kate absconding with a swarthy southerner on a weekend junket aboard his yacht has just doubled.

Like father, like son. Even royalty can’t compensate for cringing betaness.

The Leveller
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Re: Royal family wedding can suck my left nut

Post by The Leveller » Sat Apr 30, 2011 7:20 am

I will actually stalk and kill anyone who says anything bad about Princess Kate.

Yesterday, before she got dressed in her wedding gear, she probably had a shower.

I thought about that.

I'm thinking about it now.

d.reamonn
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Re: Royal family wedding can suck my left nut

Post by d.reamonn » Sat Apr 30, 2011 7:28 am

dem bitches need 16 cock up inside dem y'all. true dat.

Forge.
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Re: Royal family wedding can suck my left nut

Post by Forge. » Sat Apr 30, 2011 11:09 am

I highly doubt either of them even knew what was in their wedding vows until their handlers handed them the prompt cards.

Rave
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Re: Royal family wedding can suck my left nut

Post by Rave » Sat Apr 30, 2011 5:19 pm

john gordon wrote:haters will hate.

john gordon
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Re: Royal family wedding can suck my left nut

Post by john gordon » Sat Apr 30, 2011 7:13 pm

Rave wrote:
john gordon wrote:haters will hate.
mwaaaahaha

beats me
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Re: Royal family wedding can suck my left nut

Post by beats me » Sat Apr 30, 2011 7:19 pm

I'm sure it's different in the UK but I don't think I've seen any footage of a royal family member where they actually speak. They're either standing somewhere looking important or walking somewhere. Maybe at best the queen grabs a mike and gives a shout out once a decade. Are they capable of speech? Is it symbolic that they really don't have a say in anything?

Styles Bitchly
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Re: Royal family wedding can suck my left nut

Post by Styles Bitchly » Sat Apr 30, 2011 7:46 pm

I give 'em 5 years tops. She'll follow Di's cue and walk away with a bargeload of dosh. After that, it'll be partying at St. Moritz, then off to Vanuatu for a bit of sun, and lots of impassioned banging in between of heavy-hung fireplug bodyguards and such....at the expense of the Brit taxpayers of course. :mrgreen:

perplex
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Re: Royal family wedding can suck my left nut

Post by perplex » Sat Apr 30, 2011 8:02 pm

What i want to know is how long is this King and Queen stuff going to last? Lol i mean think about it, no superpower country does this besides uk. It just seems unimportant altogether,

Anubis
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Re: Royal family wedding can suck my left nut

Post by Anubis » Sat Apr 30, 2011 9:01 pm

perplex wrote:What i want to know is how long is this King and Queen stuff going to last? Lol i mean think about it, no superpower country does this besides uk. It just seems unimportant altogether,
For as long as the tabloids can keep making money off it. I calculate about another two weeks, unless there's another earthquake or something.
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Cryptic UK
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Re: Royal family wedding can suck my left nut

Post by Cryptic UK » Sat Apr 30, 2011 9:29 pm

Should have married her sister.
Drums

LoopStationZebra
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Re: Royal family wedding can suck my left nut

Post by LoopStationZebra » Sat Apr 30, 2011 11:32 pm

What are we discussing again?
I came for the :lol:
But stayed for the :x

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