It is so inspiring reading these posts and the PMs that a few people have sent me, thanks a lot everyone (I have replied to the PMs by the way, but some replies seem to be stuck in my outbox, not sure what's going on there). Who needs a psychologist when you guys are here and you all understand what the music bug means
I get the point about transitioning slowly that a few people have made. Problem is I feel I have to really devote myself to something full time if I'm going to progress with it - and I also believe you probably need 3-5 years to master anything worth getting good at. So for me it's probably going to need to be an extreme change if I want my focus to be on art and creativity. I could make some changes so that my life is still about my business 'career' but with more time to focus on a fulfilling hobby like music, as some have suggested. That might work but it doesn't seem very appealing at the moment...maybe I just have to come round to the idea.
And it is music I want to master, using Ableton - it's not just about mastering the software - good points made about that. It's not only about mastering music either, really - it's about pouring my life and soul into creative expression and growing through the experience. It might involve any other kind of artistic expression along the way, I guess. If I knew I had 6 months to live or if I didn't have kids I would do this right now - I wouldn't waste another precious moment sitting in dull meetings discussing budgets. I guess it is the fear of not being able to support myself or my kids in 10 years' time which is holding me back.
Really interesting comments too about being yourself at work. I find this difficult because basically 'myself' is very informal, says the wrong thing, isn't very corporate, has thoughts and opinions that some people (at least where I work now) would probably find abnormal or edgy, plus I would like to be talking about music all day. I work with governments in very conservative places, on projects involving their schools and young people, and I owe it to the people who are paying me to be the kind of person everyone feels comfortable with. There is often no electronic music scene in these places and sometimes, if such a scene starts developing, a politician or religious leader will stand up and say this devilish hypnotic stuff must be banned (a bit like the UK Criminal Justice Act 1994
). And because of the nature of my work, the house, car etc are all included with the job. So focusing on music will require a significant leap away from all of these.
In any case there are some great ideas and suggestions on this thread and I'm going to ponder them all. Really good to hear from the guys who have made the jump and to learn how it's gone for them...thanks.