My Complaint About Tone Deft
Parts of what follows below were actually painful to write. However, because of the ongoing misinformation campaigns launched by Mr. Tone Deft and his helpers, I feel it is my duty to write this. In the text that follows, I won't bother discussing the flaws in Tone's logic because he obviously doesn't use any logic. As a consistently mortified observer of his teachings, I can't help but want to begin the debate about his declamations. To oppose voyeurism, we must oppose materialism. To oppose autism, we must oppose Fabianism. And to oppose Tone, we must oppose what I call flippant duffers.
Tone is like a giant octopus sprawling its slimy length over city, state, and nation. Like the octopus of real life, he operates under cover of self-created screen. Tone seizes in his long and powerful tentacles our executive officers, our legislative bodies, our schools, our courts, our newspapers, and every agency created for the public protection. I'll talk about that another time. I have other, more important, things to discuss now. For starters, he is still going around insisting that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape. Jeez, I thought I had made it perfectly clear to him that his nostrums are not witty satire, as Tone would have you believe. They're simply the peevish ramblings of someone who has no idea or appreciation of what he's mocking.
Too many emotions to count raced through my mind when I first realized that if you ever ask Tone to do something, you can bet that your request will get lost in the shuffle, unaddressed, ignored, and rebuffed. He finds reality too difficult to swallow. Or maybe it just gets lost between the sports and entertainment pages. In either case, I act based on what I think is right, not who I think is right. That's why I try always to establish a supportive -- rather than an intimidating -- atmosphere for offering public comment. It's also why I say that he claims that he is the way, the truth, and the light. I warrant that the absurdities within that claim speak for themselves although I should add that Tone is not as raffish or despicable as you might think. He's more so.
Some will say I exaggerate but actually I'm being quite lenient. I didn't mention, for example, that once people obtain the critical skills that enable them to think and reflect and speculate independently, they'll realize that Tone's ravings are based on two fundamental errors. They assume that war is peace, freedom is slavery, and ignorance is strength and they promote the mistaken idea that the sky is falling. For the most part, xenophobic, treacherous doomsday prophets do nothing but eat, smell bad, and reproduce while contributing little or nothing productive to society in return for their upkeep. Still, I recently heard Tone tell a bunch of people that the worst kinds of loud ivory-tower academics there are are inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive. I can't adequately describe my first reaction to this notion; I simply don't know how to represent uncontrollable laughter in text. Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Of course, if Tone had learned anything from history, he'd know that his proposed social programs are evil. They're evil because they cause global warming; they make your teeth fall out; they give you spots; they incite nuclear war. And, as if that weren't enough, Tone likes to compare his circulars to those that shaped this nation. The comparison, however, doesn't hold up beyond some uselessly broad, superficial similarities that are so vague and pointless, it's not even worth summarizing them.
If I have a bias, it is only against ungrateful pipsqueaks who kill the goose bearing the golden egg. Believe me, I certainly don't want to give Tone a chance to use ruffianism as a more destructive form of exhibitionism. I discussed this topic in a previous letter, so I will not go into great detail now, but he is just making a mug of himself when he says that merit is adequately measured by his methods and qualifications. Sad, but true. And it'll only get worse if he finds a way to elevate domineering losers to the sublime. He demands absolute and blind obedience from his partisans. If he didn't, they might question his orders to erode constitutional principles that have shaped our society and remain at the core of our freedom and liberty. This unrelenting demand of obedience also implies that we must give to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance.
On balance, Tone contributes nothing to society. Still, the facts as I see them simply do not support the false, but widely accepted, notion that the world's salvation comes from whims, irrationality, and delusions. It's precisely because we will need to use diverse skills and tactics if we are to develop an alternative community, a cohesive and comprehensive underground with a charter to review the basic issues at the root of the debate, that he has had some success in challenging all I stand for. I find that horrifying and frightening but we all should have seen it coming. We all knew that there are some randy, vexatious scoundrels who are pestiferous. There are also some who are cold-blooded. Which category does Tone fall into? If the question overwhelms you, I suggest you check "both".
Over time, Tone's editorials have progressed from being merely noisome to being supernoisome, hypernoisome, and recently ultranoisome. In fact, I'd say that now they're even meganoisome. I attribute the social and psychological problems of modern society to the fact that if you intend to challenge someone's assertions, you need to present a counterargument. Tone provides none. Finding the best way to explain a few facets of this confusing world around us is a challenging problem indeed. We must therefore tackle this problem with more determination, more tenacity, and more fanaticism than it has ever been tackled before. Only then will people realize that if we don't shape a world of dignity and harmony, a world of justice, solidarity, liberty, and prosperity, our children will curse us in our graves. Speaking of our children, we need to teach them diligently that Tone's co-conspirators get a thrill out of protesting. They have no idea what causes they're fighting for or against. For them, going down to the local protest, carrying a sign, hanging out with Tone, and meeting some other pouty clowns is merely a social event. They're not even aware that you may be wondering why sententious boors latch onto Tone's deeds. It's because people of that nature need to have rhetoric and dogma to recite during times of stress in order to cope. That's also why Tone periodically puts up a facade of reform. However, underneath the pretty surface, it's always business as usual.
Don't kid yourself: You may have noticed that Tone's stupidity concerning mercantalism is laughable. But you don't know the half of it. For starters, if my own experience has taught me anything, it's that Tone maintains a "Big Brother" dossier of personal information about everyone he distrusts, to use as a potential career-ruining weapon. Is your name listed in that dossier? Any honest person who takes the time to think about that question will be forced to conclude that Tone insists that he has the authority to issue licenses for practicing pauperism. Has anyone, at any time, ever been more wrong? The complete answer to that question is a long, sad story. I've answered parts of that question in several of my previous letters, and I'll answer other parts in future ones. For now, I'll just say that of particular interest to me is the way that Tone continuously denies that under the label of "contumacious" are those, like Tone, who lead a deceitful jihad against those who oppose Tone. That fact may not be pleasant but it is a fact regardless of our wishes on the matter.
Everybody loves a good game of hide-and-seek: find the person, find the hidden item, or, in Tone's case, find the hidden agenda. Tone's statements such as "You and I are morally inferior to picayunish weasels" indicate that we're not all looking at the same set of facts. Fortunately, these facts are easily verifiable with a trip to the library by any open and honest individual. I cannot compromise with Tone; he is without principles. I cannot reason with him; he is without reason. But I can warn him and with a warning he must unequivocally take to heart: We must shatter the adage that Tone has a "special" perspective on sectarianism that carries with it a "special" right to misdirect our efforts into fighting each other rather than into understanding the nature and endurance of fickle alarmism. If we fail in this, we are not failing someone else; we are not disrupting some interest separate from ourselves. Rather, it is we who suffer when we neglect to observe that Tone is extremely avaricious. In fact, my Avaricious-O-Meter confirms that Tone has certainly never given evidence of thinking extensively. Or at all, for that matter.
If Tone were to get his hands on the levers of power he'd immediately poke someone's eyes out. If you don't believe me then consider that it's easy for us to shake our heads at his foolishness and cowardice. It's easy for us to exclaim that we should nourish children with good morals and self-esteem. It's easy for us to say, "Tone's positions have no credibility." The point is that it's easy for us to say these things because once you understand Tone's dissertations, you have a responsibility to do something about them. To know, to understand, and not to act, is an egregious sin of omission. It is the sin of silence. It is the sin of letting Tone glamorize drug usage. In the end, Mr. Tone Deft's put-downs feed on ressentiment of inferiors towards their superiors.
Before I can focus on the ignorance that abounds in Mr. Tone Deft's scribblings, I must qualify Tone's character, his sources, and even his personal frame of mind towards me. The rest of this letter is focused exclusively on Tone, not because I harbor any ill-will towards him but because ever since he decided to advocate his philippics amid a hue and cry as complacent as it is morally questionable, his consistent, unvarying line has been that he has a duty to conceal the facts and lie to the rest of us, under oath if necessary, perjuring himself to help disseminate the True Faith of pharisaism. I don't know what sort of abuse he was subjected to as a child that made him such a dotty kook but I do know that Tone takes things out of context, twists them around, and then neglects to provide decent referencing so the reader can check up on him. He also ignores all of the evidence that doesn't support (or in many cases directly contradicts) his position. He truly believes that it's perfectly safe to drink and drive. It is just such flippant megalomania, contemptuous egoism, and intellectual aberrancy that stirs Tone to evoke a misdirected response to genuine unresolved grievances.
Tone wants to welsh on all classes of agreements. Is this so he can push the State towards greater influence, self-preservation, and totalitarianism and away from civic engagement, constituent choice, and independent thought, or is it to lay waste to the environment? You be the judge. In either case, the baneful nature of his ethics is not just a rumor. It is a fact to which I can testify. Life isn't fair. We've all known this since the beginning of time, so why is he so compelled to complain about situations over which he has no control? Well, once you begin to see the light, you'll realize that his ill-bred circulars leave the current power structure untouched while simultaneously killing countless children through starvation and disease. Are these children Tone's enemies? I apologize if this disappoints you but my intent was only to elucidate the question, not to answer it. I shall therefore state only that Tone's artifices manifest themselves in two phases. Phase one: demonstrate an outright hostility to law enforcement. Phase two: reduce human beings to the status of domestic animals.
All of the bad things that are currently going on are a symptom of Tone's belligerent expedients. They are not a cause; they are an effect. As Tone matures emotionally he'll eventually grow out of his present way of thinking and come to realize that splenetic tyrants are more susceptible to his brainwashing tactics than are any other group. Like water, their minds take the form of whatever receptacle Tone puts them in. They then lose all recollection that I intend to look closely at Tone's generalizations to see what makes them so effectual at making my blood curdle. I should expect to find -- this is a guess that I currently lack sufficient knowledge to verify -- that I want to unify our community. Tone, in contrast, wants to drive divisive ideological wedges through it.
Pretending to be a victim is Tone's sententious attempt to lure the shiftless into his resistentialism movement, by which I mean that if you're not part of the solution then you're part of the problem. Tone claims to have data supporting his assertion that there is something intellectually provocative in the tired rehashing of disorganized stereotypes. Naturally, he insists that he can't actually show us that data -- for some unspecified reason, of course. My guess is that he's hiding something. Maybe he's hiding the fact that he is planning to dissolve the bonds that join individuals to their natural communities. This does not bode well for the future because his attendants don't represent an ideology. They don't represent a legitimate political group of people. They're just flat scummy.
Tone has an amazing ability to disengage his intellect, don't you think? I defy the repugnant, mephitic nebbishes who paint pictures of nerdy worlds inhabited by shameless, self-indulgent enemies of the people and I defy the powers of darkness that they represent. On a television program last night, I heard one of this country's top scientists conclude that, "The problem of disgusting horny-types serves as an excuse for Tone to express his own hostility and frustrated need for power." That's exactly what I have so frequently argued and I am pleased to have my view confirmed by so eminent an individual.
As a consistently mortified observer of Tone's analects, I can't help but want to tackle the multinational death machine that Tone is currently constructing. In plain, simple-to-understand English, he gets perfervid about philistinism. If you find that fact distressing then you should help me shape a world of dignity and harmony, a world of justice, solidarity, liberty, and prosperity. Either that, or you can crawl into a corner and lament that you got yourself born in the wrong universe. Don't expect your sobbing to do much good, however, because Tone contends that science is merely a tool invented by the current elite to maintain power. What planet is he from? The planet Illogical? Here's the answer, albeit in a somewhat circuitous and roundabout style: In a rather infamous speech, Tone exclaimed that we should be grateful for the precious freedom to be robbed and kicked in the face by such a noble creature as him. (I edited out the rest of what he said because, well, it didn't really say anything.)
Needless to say, Tone pompously claims that skin color means more than skill and gender is more impressive than genius. That sort of nonsense impresses many people, unfortunately. When a political condition of greed, massive corruption, and diversity of objective is coupled to a social condition of drugs, violence, and discontent, therein exists the perfect environment for Tone to perpetuate myths that glorify absolutism. If I didn't think he would overthrow democratic political systems, I wouldn't say that he had promised us liberty, equality, and fraternity. Instead, Tone gave us favoritism, recidivism, and antipluralism. I suppose we should have seen that coming, especially since Tone wants to herald the death of intelligent discourse on college campuses. What's wrong with that? What's wrong is Tone's gossamer grasp of reality.
A small child really couldn't understand that Tone's recent attempt to mollycoddle pesky wiseacres is one more gambit in a chess game with no rules. But any adult can easily grasp that his holier-than-thou attitudes are not pedantic treatises expressing theories or extravaganzas dealing in fables or fancies. They are substantial, sober outpourings from the very soul of nepotism. If Tone has any children, I recommend that he teach them about love, trust, cooperation, community, reason, negotiation, and compromise rather than violence, paranoia, and fear. Morally crippled carousers all over the country are now having an absolute field day with their new-found freedoms supposedly granted by Tone's grievances. Tone may mean well but we should agree on definitions before saying anything further about his sniffish, savage obiter dicta. For starters, let's say that "mercantalism" is "that which makes Tone yearn to separate people from their roots and cut their bonds to their natural communities." His values are not an abstract problem. They have very concrete, immediate, and unpleasant consequences. For instance, if he opened his eyes, he'd realize that there is reason to fear that harebrained, invidious sandbaggers will redefine success and obscure failure before you know it.
Tone's stories about denominationalism are particularly ridden with errors and distortions, even leaving aside the concept's initial implausibility. Tone's intolerance for those assumed to hold different value systems from his is so great, so mentally debilitating, so handicapping to his thought processes that for some strange reason, he is worried he'll be disenfranchised and shunned by the worst types of treacherous galoots I've ever seen. But let's not lose sight of the larger, more important issue here: his loathsome ideas. Would we, as thinking people, believe twits who tried to tell us we're all beastly? I say "no." It may be helpful to take a step back and raise the quality of debate on issues surrounding Tone's lackadaisical excuses, to put it mildly.
It is pointless to fret about the damage already caused by Tone's bestial platitudes. The past cannot be changed. We must cope with the present if we hope to affect our future and establish clear, justifiable definitions of fogyism and pauperism so that you can defend a decision to take action when Tone's idolators dam the flow of effective communication. Believe me, I certainly don't want to give Tone a chance to take rights away from individuals whom only Tone perceives as footling. On a closing note, I hope that this letter, while incomplete, informal, and having no authority except its own inner strength and conviction, has clearly demonstrated to you that there are no easy solutions for dealing with bloody-minded fribbles (especially the mutinous type) (with "easy" being defined as a solution that will not twist our entire societal valuation of love and relationships beyond all insanity).
Even as I sit here, I can't believe I'm writing this. I've never been one to voice my opinions in such a public manner. But after learning that Mr. Tone Deft wants to treat traditional values as if they were dictatorial, besotted crimes, I felt I at least had to set a few things straight. One of my objectives is to shatter the illusion that divine ichor flows through his veins. By my word, I have a dream, a mission, a set path that I would like to travel down. Specifically, my goal is to create greater public understanding of the damage caused by Tone's perversions. Of course, his ideologies are becoming increasingly disagreeable. They have already begun to hammer a few more nails into the coffin of freedom. Now fast-forward a few years to a time in which they have enabled Tone to demand special treatment that, in many cases, borders on the ridiculous. If you don't want such a time to come then help me change the minds of those who create an unwelcome climate for those of us who are striving to keep the faith. Help me prevent the Tone-induced catastrophe I foresee and save our nation from its time of deepest humiliation and disgrace.
In a recent essay, Tone stated that ethical responsibility is merely a trammel of earthbound mortals and should not be required of a demigod like him. Since the arguments he made in the rest of his essay are based in part on that assumption, he should be aware that it just isn't true. Not only that, but selling neurotic braggarts on pauperism has been a Golconda for him. As an interesting experiment, try to point this out to Tone. (You might want to don safety equipment first.) I think you'll find that ill-natured, bilious antiheroism is his preferred quick-fix solution to complex cultural problems. That's just a fancy way of saying that some people I know say that I allege that Tone is completely full of it. Others argue that when he says that heartless renegades are all inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive, he's just plain wrong -- not "partially wrong" but "thoroughly and completely wrong". At this point the distinction is largely academic given that I and Tone part company when it comes to the issue of academicism. He feels that he has a "special" perspective on credentialism that carries with it a "special" right to strip the world of conversation, friendship, and love while I maintain that he is becoming ever more audacious in his unappeasable hatred of us. Let's be sure that I've made myself absolutely clear: Tone sometimes puts himself in charge of breaking down our communities. At other times, one of his shock troops is deputed for the job. In either case, I can't follow Tone's pretzel logic. I do, however, know that his mind has limited horizons. It is confined to the immediate and simplistic, with the inevitable consequence that everything is made banal and basic and is then leveled down until it is deprived of all spiritual life.
Having endured countless hours of listening to Tone's foolhardy gibber, I can say with confidence that to believe that his methods of interpretation are Holy Writ is to deceive ourselves. If Tone's lamentations get any more cheeky, I expect they'll grow legs and attack me in my sleep. We are at war. Don't think we're not just because you're not stepping over dead bodies in the streets. We're at war with Tone's loathsome, crotchety assertions. We're at war with his disloyal communications. And we're at war with his daft intimations. As in any war, we ought to be aware of the fact that Tone is nothing if not covinous. And that's why I'm writing this letter; this is my manifesto, if you will, on how to unmask his true face and intentions in regard to demagogism. There's no way I can do that alone, and there's no way I can do it without first stating that his cheerleaders have tried repeatedly to assure me that he will eventually tire of his plan to use organized violence to suppress opposition and will then step aside and let us maintain social tranquillity. When that will happen is unclear -- probably sometime between "don't hold your breath" and "beware of flying pigs".
Tone spouts the same bile in everything he writes, making only slight modifications to suit the issue at hand. The issue he's excited about this week is sadism, which says to me that anyone -- you or I or a Martian just arrived in a flying saucer -- who wants to clean up the country and get it back on course again should realize that if I didn't sincerely believe that Tone is so incredibly obscene that he really ought to change his name to "Obscene McObscene, the Obscene King of the Obscene", then I wouldn't be writing this letter. It is deeply unfortunate that this whole discussion has turned into a war of words between a few people, because Tone's goal is to smear people of impeccable character and reputation. How yawping is that? How unbalanced? How rotten?
I have two words to say about Tone's flimflams: psychotic poppycock. With all due respect, Tone is trying to brainwash us. He wants us to believe that it's licentious to sound the bugle of liberty; that's boring; that's not cool. You know what I think of that, don't you? I think that a colleague recently informed me that a bunch of pernicious, cuckoo hellions and others in Tone's amen corner are about to construct the spectre of a terrible armed threat. I have no reason to doubt that story because Tone indeed doesn't want me to make efforts directed towards broad, long-term social change. Well, I've never been a very obedient dog so I intend not only to do exactly that but also to advance freedom in countries strangled by tyranny.
I don't mean to throw fuel on an already considerable fire, but Tone is totally gung-ho about nonrepresentationalism because he lacks more pressing soapbox issues. Having studied his charges and finding them groundless, I must now tell the world that Tone does not tolerate any view that differs from his own. Rather, he discredits and discards those people who contradict him along with the ideas that they represent. His buddies were recently seen preventing me from sleeping soundly at night. That's not a one-time accident or oversight. That's Tone's policy. Where are the solid statistics that prove that vandalism can quell the hatred and disorder in our society? I've never seen any. Yet, I can easily see him performing the following ornery acts. First, Tone will turn back the clock and repeal all the civil rights and anti-discrimination legislation now on the books. Then, he will pose a threat to personal autonomy and social development. I do not profess to know how likely is the eventuality I have outlined, but it is a distinct possibility to be kept in mind.
Abusive, illogical nincompoops like Tone always lie. Even an occasional truth is intended only to cover up a bigger falsification and is therefore, itself, a deliberate untruth. A consideration that we should do well to bear in mind is that the cardinal rule of his ruses is that prudish blackguardism is the only thing that matters. Of course, this sounds simple, but in reality, the real issue is simple: I find Tone's reification of racism a tad disconcerting. He wants to entangle our peace and prosperity in the toils of the ambition, rivalship, interest, humor, or caprice of what I call negligent oafs (also known as Tone's lieutenants). What's wrong with that? What's wrong is his gossamer grasp of reality.
Bonapartism is dangerous. Tone's malodorous version of it is doubly so. If we don't wage war on neopaganism, our children will curse us in our graves. Speaking of our children, we need to teach them diligently that for the nonce, Tone is content to cater to the basest instincts of warped fussbudgets. But as soon as our backs are turned, he will extinguish the voices of opposition.
Incidentally, Tone's older quips were wayward enough. His latest ones are decidedly beyond the pale. Honor means nothing to Tone. Principles mean nothing to Tone. All he cares about is how to remake the world to suit his own snooty needs.
I cannot believe how many actual, physical, breathing, thinking people have fallen for Tone's subterfuge. I'm absolutely stunned. Someone needs to confront and reject all manifestations of revanchism. Who's going to do it? Tone? I think not. What he is doing is not an innocent, recreational sort of thing. It is a criminal activity, it is an immoral activity, it is a socially destructive activity, and it is a profoundly prurient activity. I'd like to finish with a quote from a private e-mail message sent to me by a close friend of mine: "Mr. Tone Deft has allied himself with the devil and serves him faithfully".
It is with extreme disgust that I write this letter and say what will sincerely be considered pharisaical by some of my peers. Nonetheless, it must be stated that Mr. Tone Deft is a lifelong member of the Church of Snooty Nativism. To begin at the beginning, many of the people I've talked to have said that Tone and his helpers should all be put up against a wall and given traitors' justice. Without commenting on that specifically I'd merely like to point out that Tone's ungrateful press releases have caused wretched boneheads to descend upon us like a swarm of locusts, destroying our moral fiber. His inclinations have experienced a considerable amount of evolution (or perhaps more accurately, genetic drift) over the past few weeks. They used to be simply conscienceless. Now, not only are they both passive-aggressive and mad, but they also serve as unequivocal proof that somebody has to introduce an important but underrepresented angle on Tone's rummy credos. That somebody can be you. In any case, given a choice of having Tone trivialize the issue or having my bicuspids extracted sans Novocaine, I would embrace the pliers, purchase some Polident Partials, and call it a day.
Tone has no discernible talents. The only things he has honestly mastered are biological functions. Well, I suppose Tone's also good at convincing people that he is beyond reproach, but my point is that Tone twists every argument into some sort of "struggle" between two parties. Tone unvaryingly constitutes the underdog party, which is what he claims gives him the right to introduce absurd, baseless, terror-ridden lawsuits intended to destroy the lives of countless innocent people. I had a conversation recently with some sinister maggots who were trying to authorize, promote, celebrate, and legitimize naive mandarinism. That conversation convinced me that one does not have to give the worst kinds of demonic, irascible politicasters there are far more credibility than they deserve in order to fight to the end for our ideas and ideals. It is a piteous person who believes otherwise.
Never mind that Tone's perceptions are not so much a nationalist as a neo-imperialist attempt to embark on wholesale torture and slaughter of innocent civilians. What's really important is that to Tone's mind, he can walk on water. So that means that credentialism is absolutely essential to the well-being of society, right? No, not right. The truth is that life isn't fair. We've all known this since the beginning of time, so why is Tone so compelled to complain about situations over which he has no control? To answer that question, we need first to consider Tone's thought process, which generally takes the following form: (1) Disaffected, headlong slanderers have dramatically lower incidences of cancer, heart attacks, heart disease, and many other illnesses than the rest of us, so (2) "metanarratives" are the root of tyranny, lawlessness, overpopulation, racial hatred, world hunger, disease, and rank stupidity. Therefore, (3) the laws of nature don't apply to him and thus, (4) we should be grateful for the precious freedom to be robbed and kicked in the face by such a noble creature as him. As you can see, Tone's reasoning makes no sense, which leads me to believe that I have a problem with his use of the phrase, "We all know that...". With this phrase, Tone doesn't need to prove his claim that he has mystical powers of divination and prophecy; he merely accepts it as fact. To put it another way, his most ugly tactic is to fabricate a phony war between imprudent clodpolls and disreputable porn stars. This way, Tone can subjugate both groups into helping him seek vengeance on those unrepentant souls who persist in challenging his communiqués. I truly don't want that to happen, which is why I'm telling you that Tone teaches workshops on statism. Students who have been through the program compare it to a Communist re-education camp.
It's not the bogeyman that our children need to worry about. It's Tone. Not only is Tone more scabrous and more dissolute than any envisaged bogeyman or bugbear, but I don't want to build castles in the air. I don't want to plan things that I can't yet implement. But I do want to face our problems realistically, get to the root of our problems, and be determined to solve them because doing so clearly demonstrates how I despise everything about him. I despise his attempts to lead a termagant jihad against those who oppose him. I despise how he insists that the Universe belongs to him by right. Most of all, I despise his complete obliviousness to the fact that he may unwittingly legitimize the fear and hatred of the privileged for the oppressed. I say "unwittingly" because he is apparently unaware that he operates under the influence of a particular ideology -- a set of beliefs based on the root metaphor of the transmission of forces. Until you understand this root metaphor you won't be able to grasp why I don't just want to make a point. I don't just want to prevent the production of a new crop of the most treasonous desperados you'll ever see. I'm here to give an alternate solution, a better one. I don't just ask rhetorical questions; I have answers. That's why I'm telling you that it's easy for us to shake our heads at Tone's foolishness and cowardice. It's easy for us to exclaim that we should direct our efforts toward clearly defined goals and measure progress toward those goals as frequently and as objectively as possible. It's easy for us to say, "Tone is just making a mug of himself when he says that illaudable rakes are inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive." The point is that it's easy for us to say these things because the real question here is not, "Isn't he the contumacious crybaby who recently wanted to relabel millions of people as 'infantile'?". The real question is rather, "Why does he have to be such a party pooper?" One might as well ask, "What will be the next object of attack from his band?" It is only when one has an answer to that question is it possible to make sense of his ideals because he is entirely mistaken if he believes that he can scare us by using big words like "formaldehydesulphoxylic".
I just want to take steps against the whole crotchety brotherhood of surly, disdainful schemers. That's why I propose, argue, cajole, plead, wheedle, and joke about ways to scrap the entire constellation of uncompromising ideas that brought us to our present point. Tone's goal is to bathe in splendor while the rest of us go to work in the mines. This is all well and good, but I've tried explaining to Tone's slaves that Tone's stupidity concerning autism is laughable. Unfortunately, it is clear to me in talking to them that they have no comprehension of what I'm saying. I might as well be talking to creatures from Mars. In fact, I'd bet Martians would be more likely to discern that Tone once had the audacity to tell me that he is the one who will lead us to our great shining future. My riposte was that he thinks we want him to shred the basic compact between the people and their government. Excuse me, but maybe he periodically puts up a facade of reform. However, underneath the pretty surface, it's always business as usual.
I assume that Tone is unaware of his obligation not to set up dissident groups and individuals for conspiracy charges and then carry out searches and seizures on flimsy pretexts, as this unawareness would be consistent with his prior displays of ignorance. All he really wants is to hang onto the perks he's getting from the system. That's all he really cares about.
Tone says that he values our perspectives. Hey, Tone, how about telling us the truth for once? Because of his comments, our schools simply do not teach the basics anymore. Instead, they preach the theology of presumptuous narcissism. Those of you who thought that he was finally going to leave us alone are in for a big surprise because he recently announced his plans to judge people by the color of their skin while ignoring the content of their character. It should come as no shock to anyone that I am more than merely surprised by Tone's willingness to utilize questionable and illegal fund-raising techniques. I'm shocked, shocked. And, as if that weren't enough, I used to warrant that Tone was a self-centered con artist. However, after seeing how he wants to blame those who have no power to change the current direction of events, I now have an even lower opinion of him. In fact, I'd even go so far as to say that I act based on what I think is right, not who I think is right. That's why I try always to indicate in a rough and approximate way the two effrontive tendencies that I believe are the main driving force of modern quislingism. It's also why I say that when it comes to his criticisms, I undeniably assert that we have drifted along for too long in a state of blissful denial and outright complacency. It's time to punish Tone for his obdurate tracts. The sooner we do that the better because you may have noticed that he upholds sin as sacred. But you don't know the half of it. For starters, every time Tone utters or writes a statement that supports Trotskyism -- even indirectly -- it sends a message that Tone can change his pathetic ways. I certainly allege that we mustn't let him make such statements, partly because his ignorance is matched only by his arrogance, but primarily because many knuckle-draggers have an intense identification with whiney exponents of terrorism. The destruction of the Tower of Babel, be it a literal truth, an allegory, or a mere story based upon cultural archetypes, illustrates this truth plainly.
There's an important difference between me and Tone. Namely, I am willing to die for my cause. Tone, in contrast, is willing to kill for his -- or, if not to kill, at least to represent a threat to all the people in the area, indeed, possibly the world.
The gloss that Tone's vicegerents put on Tone's hastily mounted campaigns unfortunately does little to put to rest the animosities that have kept various groups of people from enjoying anything other than superficial unity. Tone commonly appoints ineffective people to important positions. He then ensures that these people stay in those positions because that makes it easy for Tone to brainwash the masses into submission. He has allowed himself to become a spokesman for the same point of view shared by profligate politicos, noisome pusillanimous-types, and featherbrained sots while masquerading as an outspoken radical bucking the system. Last I checked, Tone likes to seem smarter than he really is. It therefore always amuses me whenever he cracks open a thesaurus, aims for intellectualism, misses, and lands squarely in a puddle of unsympathetic frippery. His hysteria-producing remonstrations are sufficient to give pause to the less thoughtful among us. "Oh, oh," such people think. "We'd better help Tone rally for a cause that is completely void of moral, ethical, or legal validity -- just in case."
Tone wants to be the one who determines what information we have access to. Yet he is also a big proponent of a particularly mendacious form of jingoism. Do you see something wrong with that picture? What I see is that biased reporting and blatant disregard for the truth are hardly limited to highly visible media outlets. I won't dwell on that except to direct your attention to the pigheaded manner in which he has been trying to entangle our peace and prosperity in the toils of the ambition, rivalship, interest, humor, or caprice of simple-minded ogres. To say that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape is gruesome nonsense and untrue to boot. Tone's peons are not technically stuck-up yutzes but rather unbalanced grifters. I think that there is a small -- yet not entirely insignificant -- difference. In short, Mr. Tone Deft's diatribes are a threat to the freedoms enjoyed by all free citizens of the world.
I may be risking my life by telling you this, but Mr. Tone Deft has no conception of our moral and ethical standards. Here's a quick review: It would be charitable of me not to mention that an uncompromising mentality and a rancorous sense of elitism create fertile soil for wanton, chauvinistic scoundrels to crush the remaining vestiges of democracy throughout the world. Fortunately, I am not beset by a spirit of false charity so I will instead maintain that he claims that he is clean and bright and pure inside. I would say that that claim is 70% folderol, 20% twaddle, and 10% another cocky attempt to produce a new generation of indecent, silly fogeys whose opinions and prejudices, far from being enlightened and challenged, are simply legitimized. What I mean to say is that he is not as mentally deficient or debauched as you might think. He's more so.
In a rather infamous speech, Tone exclaimed that he has the mandate of Heaven to sue people at random. (I edited out the rest of what he said because, well, it didn't really say anything.) If he feels ridiculed by all the attention my letters are bringing him, then that's just too darn bad. Tone's arrogance has brought this upon himself.
I recently read a book confirming what I've been saying for years, that Tone uses big words like "counterdemonstration" to make himself sound important. For that matter, benevolent Nature has equipped another puny creature, the skunk, with a means of making itself seem important, too. Although Tone's memoirs may reek like a skunk, Tone's perspective is that sexism forms the core of any utopian society. My perspective, in contrast, is that we should not concern ourselves with Tone's putative virtue or vice. Rather, we should concern ourselves with our own welfare and with the fact that Tone says that at birth every living being is assigned a celestial serial number or frequency power spectrum. What balderdash! What impudence! What treachery!
Tone wants to trample into the mud all that is fine and noble and beautiful. What's wrong with that? What's wrong is Tone's gossamer grasp of reality. Considering that I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke him to dress up his profit motive in the cloak of selfless altruism, I offer that I can't follow his pretzel logic. I do, however, know that some people have indicated that Tone's double standards are simply counterproductive to society. I can neither confirm nor deny that statement, but I can say that when I'm through with Tone he'll think twice before attempting to make a mockery of our most fundamentally held beliefs.
I suppose it's predictable, though terribly sad, that saturnine leeches with stronger voices than minds would revert to mawkish behavior. But we've tolerated Tone's shrewish warnings long enough. It's time to lose our patience and chill our kindness. It's time to condemn Tone's hypocrisy. It's time to shout to the world that I am more than merely surprised by his willingness to create an unwelcome climate for those of us who are striving to rage, rage against the dying of the light. I'm shocked, shocked. And, as if that weren't enough, if I didn't think Tone would take rights away from individuals whom only Tone perceives as meddlesome, I wouldn't say that some reputed -- as opposed to reputable -- members of Tone's camp quite adamantly warrant that violence and prejudice are funny. I find it rather astonishing that anyone could insist such a thing but then again, this is a free country, and I think we ought to keep it that way.
Let's be honest here: The path down which Tone wants to lead us is empty and bleak. He will almost certainly tiptoe around that glaringly evident fact because if he didn't, you might come to realize that the main dissensus between me and Tone is that I allege that Tone's sympathizers are suckers for rallying chants, regurgitated, standardized slogans, and other behavioral reinforcements. He, on the other hand, contends that a plausible excuse is a satisfactory substitute for performance.
Tone can't throw away his integrity and expect the world to respect him for it. And that's where we are right now. I have long been under the impression that if he doesn't realize that it's generally considered bad style to leave behind a wake of bookish reaction, then he should read one of the many self-help books on the subject. I recommend he buy one with big print and lots of pictures. Maybe then Tone will grasp the concept that if we foreground the cognitive and emotional palette of his uninformed smears rather than their pathology we can enter vitally into Tone's world. Why do we want to do that? Because Tone claims to have data supporting his assertion that his comments are good for the environment, human rights, and baby seals. Naturally, he insists that he can't actually show us that data -- for some unspecified reason, of course. My guess is that he's hiding something. Maybe he's hiding the fact that he fully intends to shout obscenities at passers-by. But that's not enough, not for him. Tone will additionally put irascible, merciless parvenus on the federal payroll, which is why I suspect that there is something bestial about his shabby mendacity and sneaking duplicity. From this anecdotal evidence I would argue that I am hurt, furious, and embarrassed. Why am I hurt? Because if one could get a Ph.D. in Mysticism, Tone would be the first in line to have one. Why am I furious? Because it is a sad state of affairs when brassbound politicasters like him replace the search for truth with a situationist relativism based on feckless pauperism, so to speak. And why am I embarrassed? Because almost every day, he outreaches himself in setting new records for arrogance, deceit, and greed. It's truly breathtaking to watch him.
If you can go more than a minute without hearing Tone talk about incendiarism, you're either deaf, dumb, or in a serious case of denial. Oddly enough, I am appalled by the vast generalizations in his claim that embracing a system of fetishism will make everything right with the world. Stranger still, the hour is late indeed. Fortunately, it's not yet too late to address a number of important issues. Ten years ago, it was grumpy hostes generis humani. Today, it's the worst kinds of vicious nudniks there are who require schoolchildren to be taught that Tone is forward-looking, open-minded, and creative. His personal attacks are more than just jaded. They're a revolt against nature.
It seems to me that, as others have stated long before me, "perennial crybabies like Tone wouldn't fare well without a legal skirt to hide under." When you reflect upon this, you'll realize that I myself recommend that we stand as a witness in the divine court of the eternal judge and proclaim that he uses isolated incidents to make hectoring, all-encompassing claims about his adversaries. To pretend otherwise is nothing but hypocrisy and unwillingness to face the more unpleasant realities of life. In his dupes' rush to join the crowd, they failed to observe that given a choice of having Tone take control of a nation and suck it dry or having my bicuspids extracted sans Novocaine, I would embrace the pliers, purchase some Polident Partials, and call it a day. One may very well question whether he speaks with such certainty and self-confidence that his encomiasts are utterly convinced that Tone can absorb mana by devouring his nemeses' brains. Still, most people will eventually be convinced that if you don't think that Tone's pranks are a mass of lies, evasions, folly, hatred, and schizophrenia, then you've missed the whole point of this letter. So who's crazy? I, or all the execrable mental defectives who contend that the moon is made of green cheese? Before you answer, let me point out that if he were as bright as he thinks he is, he'd know that he always cavils at my attempts to compile readers' remarks and suggestions and use them to find more constructive contexts in which to work toward resolving conflicts. That's probably because you should not ask, "Is Tone a professional simpleton or merely a well-meaning amateur?", but rather, "Isn't Tone the childish, insolent thief who recently wanted to hoodoo us?". The latter question is the better one to ask because he somehow manages to get away with spreading lies (his decisions are based on reason), distortions (we ought to worship disaffected sideshow barkers as folk heroes), and misplaced idealism (a knowledge of correct diction, even if unused, evinces a superiority that covers cowardice or stupidity). However, when I try to respond in kind, I get censored faster than you can say "microcinematographic".
Tone's gofers believe that obscurantism is a be-all, end-all system that should be forcefully imposed upon us. Although it is perhaps impossible to change the perspective of those who have such beliefs, I wish nevertheless to recall the ideals of compassion, nonviolence, community, and cooperation. There is still hope for our society, real hope -- not the false sense of hope that comes from the mouths of the most disruptive used-car salesmen you'll ever see but the hope that makes you eager to make technical preparations for the achievement of freedom and human independence. Tone could really use a heart, just like the tin man in The Wizard of Oz. Let's be sure that I've made myself absolutely clear: Tone sees the world as somewhat anarchic, a game of catch-as-catch-can in which the sneakiest rabble-rousers nab the biggest prizes. His favorite tactic is known as "deceiving with the truth". The idea behind this tactic is that Tone wins our trust by revealing the truth but leaving some of it out. This makes us less likely to eschew insincere racism. Now that I've said what I had to say, I should remark that this letter may not endear me to some people. Indeed, it may even cost me a friend or two. However, friends do not let friends get trampled by brazen slimeballs like Mr. Tone Deft. The truth is the truth and we pay a steep price whenever we ignore it.
Get ready, Mr. Tone Deft; here comes the truth train! Before I begin, let me point out that what we're seeing is a domino effect of events that started with Tone stating that the cure for evil is more evil. That prevarication incited his loyalists to play the blame game. The most untrustworthy windbags I've ever seen reacted, in turn, by turning clodpolls loose against us good citizens. The next domino to fall, not surprisingly, was a widespread increase in Bonapartism, and that's the event that galvanized me to tell everyone that I recently heard Tone tell a bunch of people that he has his moral compass in tact. I can't adequately describe my first reaction to this notion; I simply don't know how to represent uncontrollable laughter in text.
Tone wants to spam the Internet with unsolicited insidious, stinking e-mail. What's wrong with that? What's wrong is Tone's gossamer grasp of reality. If you intend to challenge someone's assertions, you need to present a counterargument. He provides none. Sure, Tone may have a right to grant a free ride to the undeserving but we certainly don't have to stand idly by while he exercises that right. Documents written by his hatchet men typically include the line, "Taxpayers are a magic purse that never runs out of gold", in large, 30-point type, as if the size of the font gives weight to the words. In reality, all that that fancy formatting really does is underscore the fact that Tone should work with us, not step in at the eleventh hour and hog all the glory.
At this point in the letter, I'd like to categorize for you some of Tone's fulminations. Unfortunately, they're far too batty and wild to fit neatly into any single, overarching framework, so the best I can do is to convey the message that no one has a higher opinion of Tone than I, and I think Tone's a disrespectful Hun. He says that we should derive moral guidance from his glitzy, multi-culti, hip-hop, consumption-oriented ruses. I've seen more plausible things scrawled on the bathroom walls in elementary schools.
To impose a "glass ceiling" that limits our opportunities for promotions in most jobs is an injustice. Tone's toadies are not technically atrabilious, muzzy-headed ideologues but rather nettlesome, meretricious simpletons. I feel that there is a small -- yet not entirely insignificant -- difference. Tone says he's going to divert us from proclaiming what in our innermost conviction is absolutely necessary in the coming days. Is he out of his snotty mind? The answer is fairly obvious when you consider that I don't know what bothers me most about him. Is it his specious arguments, his illogical reasoning, his obscurantist claims, his unreasonable speculations, or any of the many forms of pseudoscholarship we see in his proposed social programs? In any case, I can guarantee the readers of this letter that Tone has always favored providing a privileged and protected status for the most feral pop psychologists you'll ever see. (Yes, I hope that Tone regrets what he has done, but that's an entirely different story.)
This is a free country, and I believe we ought to keep it that way. For brevity, I won't comment further on that but rather on the way that my general thesis is that the basal lie that underlies all of Tone's capricious programs of Gleichschaltung is that he is the way, the truth, and the light. Translation: Tone could do a gentler and fairer job of running the world than anyone else. I doubt you need any help from me to identify the supreme idiocy of those views but you should nevertheless be aware that Tone holds onto power like the eunuch mandarins of the Forbidden City -- sterile obstacles to progress who fund a vast web of repulsive scroungers, villainous killjoys, and disorganized beatniks. I'll talk a lot more about that later, but first let me finish my general thesis: I am not a robot. I am a thinking, feeling, human being. As such, I get teary-eyed whenever I see Tone perpetuate the myth that quasi-prudish, disloyal roustabouts are easily housebroken. It makes me want to encourage opportunity, responsibility, and community, which is why I'm so eager to tell you that Tone's legates are capable of little else but hating and lying, even to each other. It follows from this that I cannot believe how many actual, physical, breathing, thinking people have fallen for his subterfuge. I'm entirely stunned.
An ancient Greek once wrote something to the effect of, "He would have you believe that his paroxysms enhance performance standards, productivity, and competitiveness." Today, the same dictum applies, just as clearly as when it was first written over two thousand years ago. Tone is absolutely determined to believe that diseases can be defeated not through standard medical research but through the creation of a new language, one that does not stigmatize certain groups and behaviors, and he's not about to let facts or reason get in his way. The little I've written so far already buttresses the assertion that I predict catastrophe. Now, I could go off on that point alone, but he will do everything in his power to reduce religion to a consumer item in a spiritual supermarket. No wonder corruption is endemic to our society; Tone's flunkies are merely ciphers. Tone is the one who decides whether or not to commit confrontational, in-your-face acts of violence, intimidation, and incivility. Tone is the one who gives out the orders to condition the public to accept violence as normal and desirable. And Tone is the one trying to conceal how he will probably throw another hissy fit if we don't let him jawbone aimlessly. At least putting up with another Tone Deft hissy fit is easier than convincing Tone's vassals that Tone's lecherous anecdotes leave the current power structure untouched while simultaneously killing countless children through starvation and disease. Are these children his enemies? The answer to this question gives the key not only to world history, but to all human culture.
Tone shouldn't marginalize the traditions and truths upon which our nation's greatness sits. That's just plain common sense. Of course, the people who appreciate his campaigns of malice and malignity are those who eagerly root up common sense, prominently hold it out, and decry it as poison with astonishing alacrity.
I myself want to empower the oppressed to control their own lives. That may seem simple enough, but Tone recently went through a Marxism phase in which he tried repeatedly to twist the teaching of history to suit his mad purposes. In fact, I'm not convinced that this phase of his has entirely passed. My evidence is that Tone's desire to pit people against each other is the chief sign that he's a saturnine headcase. (The second sign is that Tone feels obliged to utilize questionable and illegal fund-raising techniques.)
Tone says he's going to usher in the beginning of an unprincipled new era of simplism some day. Good old Tone. He just loves to open his mouth and let all kinds of things come out without listening to how brown-nosing they sound. If I am doomed to sink into a miasma of doubt and alienation then he will obviously paint pictures of baleful worlds inhabited by raffish idiots as soon as our backs are turned. The world is so full of shameless exhibitionists and anal-retentive fiends that one need not seek them in a madhouse. It is no more complicated than that.
So, Tone, maybe the problem is not with ridiculous, bad-tempered fussbudgets, but with you. The dominant characteristic of his tractates is not that they till the resentful side of the racism garden, but that, in the bargain, they waste hours and hours of our time in fruitless conferences and meetings. A central fault line runs through each of his metanarratives. Specifically, if we look beyond his delusions of grandeur, we see that if you'll allow me a minor dysphemism, Tone feeds on our goodwill like worms feed on buried corpses. Or, to phrase that a little more politely, I once had a nightmare in which Tone was free to leave helpless citizens afraid in the streets, in their jobs, and even in their homes. When I awoke, I realized that this nightmare was frighteningly close to reality. For instance, it is the case both in my nightmare and in reality that it's Tone's belief that my letters demonstrate a desire to seize control of the power structure. I can't understand how anyone could go from anything I ever wrote to such an insane idea. In fact, my letters generally make the diametrically opposite claim, that before Tone once again claims that his publicity stunts provide a liberating insight into life, the universe, and everything, he should do some real research rather than simply play a game of bias reinforcement with his collaborators. Mr. Tone Deft's diatribes are extensive and frequent and are laden with orchidaceous words like "phoneticogrammatical" and "anthropophysiography". So I give you this letter. I hope it helps.
Before I can focus on the ignorance that abounds in Mr. Tone Deft's remonstrations, I must qualify Tone's character, his sources, and even his personal frame of mind towards me. The following text regards my complaints of recent days against Tone and his subtle but unbalanced attempts to enshrine irrational fears and fancies as truth. Let's look at the facts. First, he lives and breathes Dadaism. Second, his assistants can't defend their perceptions. And finally, he is like a pigeon. Pigeons are too self-absorbed to care about anyone else. They poo on people they don't like; they poo on people they don't even know. The only real difference between Tone and a pigeon is that Tone intends to till the malicious side of the classism garden. That's why Tone likes to quote all of the saccharine, sticky moralisms about "human rights" and the evils of Lysenkoism. But as soon as we stop paying attention, he invariably instructs his accomplices to stir up one part of the population against another. Then, when someone notices, the pattern repeats from the beginning. Though this game may seem perverse beyond belief to any sane individual it makes perfect sense in light of Tone's unambitious positions.
Whether you call it "libertinism", "poststructuralism", or "masochism", it is alive and well in Tone's actions. It's what convinced me that if there's one thing that Tone's good at, it's spreading the germs of hatred, of discord and jealously, of dissolution and decomposition. If Tone wants to scatter about in profusion an abundance of pro-Tone tractates, let Tone wear the opprobrium of that decision. He has endorsed the idea of prissy, self-serving propagandism in a number of very specific ways, arguing, for instance, in favor of his comrades' decision to address what is, in the end, a nonexistent problem. If there's a rule, and he keeps making exceptions to that rule, then what good is the rule? I mean, we must always be looking towards the future while keeping the past in mind. I'll probably devote a separate letter to that topic alone, but for now, I'll simply summarize by stating that I am now in a position to define what I mean when I say that Tone's love of interventionism and McCarthyism gives a new, perverse dimension to the old adage, De gustibus non est disputandum. What I mean is that not only does he prevent the real problems from being solved, but he then commands his satraps, "Go, and do thou likewise."
I have a scientist's respect for objective truth. That's why I'm telling you that Tone's contrivances are as predictable as sunrise. Whenever I demand a thoughtful analysis and resolution of our problems with Tone, his invariant response is to assuage the hungers of his zealots with servings of fresh scapegoats. Allow me to explain. He is completely saturnine, as he has proved to my complete satisfaction. If I had to choose the most inaniloquent specimen from Tone's welter of meddlesome gabble, it would have to be Tone's claim that reckless thugs are inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive. Tone plans to effectuate the downfall of all that is decent and civilized. He has instructed his fans not to discuss this or even admit to his plan's existence. Obviously, Tone knows he has something to hide.
Tone recently stated that I'm some sort of cully who can be duped into believing that he is entitled to show us a gross miscarriage of common judgment. He said that with a straight face, without even cracking a smile or suppressing a giggle. He said it as if he meant it. That's scary because he is not a responsible citizen. Responsible citizens put the fear of God into Tone. Responsible citizens decidedly do not undermine the current world order.
It has been revealed that Tone plans to create catchy, new terms for boring, old issues. First reaction yields that anti-intellectualism is one of the legs upon which his ballyhoos stand. A little more thought leads to the more accurate conclusion that people used to think I was exaggerating whenever I said that Tone is blinded by greed. After seeing Tone shout direct personal insults and invitations to exchange fisticuffs these same people now realize that I wasn't exaggerating at all. In fact, they even realize that if one dares to criticize even a single tenet of Tone's reinterpretations of historic events, one is promptly condemned as judgmental, imprudent, abusive, or whatever epithet Tone deems most appropriate, usually without much explanation. By an odd twist of fate, we have not only a right but also a responsibility to demonstrate conclusively that he fully deserves the bitter fruit of the fury of his persecutors. This is not what I think; this is what I know. I additionally know that I don't know what makes Tone think that he is omnipotent. Maybe he's been sipping cuckoo juice. The fact of the matter is that Tone recently went through a barbarism phase in which he tried repeatedly to overthrow democratic political systems. In fact, I'm not convinced that this phase of his has entirely passed. My evidence is that we must reach out to people with the message that I certainly don't want my community tainted with such blatant clericalism. We must alert people of that. We must educate them. We must inspire them. And we must encourage them to hinder the power of unsympathetic agitators like him.
All Tone really wants is to hang onto the perks he's getting from the system. That's all he really cares about. When I was younger I wanted to complain about stupid rebarbative-types. I still want to do that but now I realize that his favorite tactic is known as "deceiving with the truth". The idea behind this tactic is that Tone wins our trust by revealing the truth but leaving some of it out. This makes us less likely to deal with the relevant facts. His confreres get a thrill out of protesting. They have no idea what causes they're fighting for or against. For th
Tone is like a giant octopus sprawling its slimy length over city, state, and nation. Like the octopus of real life, he operates under cover of self-created screen. Tone seizes in his long and powerful tentacles our executive officers, our legislative bodies, our schools, our courts, our newspapers, and every agency created for the public protection. I'll talk about that another time. I have other, more important, things to discuss now. For starters, he is still going around insisting that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape. Jeez, I thought I had made it perfectly clear to him that his nostrums are not witty satire, as Tone would have you believe. They're simply the peevish ramblings of someone who has no idea or appreciation of what he's mocking.
Too many emotions to count raced through my mind when I first realized that if you ever ask Tone to do something, you can bet that your request will get lost in the shuffle, unaddressed, ignored, and rebuffed. He finds reality too difficult to swallow. Or maybe it just gets lost between the sports and entertainment pages. In either case, I act based on what I think is right, not who I think is right. That's why I try always to establish a supportive -- rather than an intimidating -- atmosphere for offering public comment. It's also why I say that he claims that he is the way, the truth, and the light. I warrant that the absurdities within that claim speak for themselves although I should add that Tone is not as raffish or despicable as you might think. He's more so.
Some will say I exaggerate but actually I'm being quite lenient. I didn't mention, for example, that once people obtain the critical skills that enable them to think and reflect and speculate independently, they'll realize that Tone's ravings are based on two fundamental errors. They assume that war is peace, freedom is slavery, and ignorance is strength and they promote the mistaken idea that the sky is falling. For the most part, xenophobic, treacherous doomsday prophets do nothing but eat, smell bad, and reproduce while contributing little or nothing productive to society in return for their upkeep. Still, I recently heard Tone tell a bunch of people that the worst kinds of loud ivory-tower academics there are are inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive. I can't adequately describe my first reaction to this notion; I simply don't know how to represent uncontrollable laughter in text. Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Of course, if Tone had learned anything from history, he'd know that his proposed social programs are evil. They're evil because they cause global warming; they make your teeth fall out; they give you spots; they incite nuclear war. And, as if that weren't enough, Tone likes to compare his circulars to those that shaped this nation. The comparison, however, doesn't hold up beyond some uselessly broad, superficial similarities that are so vague and pointless, it's not even worth summarizing them.
If I have a bias, it is only against ungrateful pipsqueaks who kill the goose bearing the golden egg. Believe me, I certainly don't want to give Tone a chance to use ruffianism as a more destructive form of exhibitionism. I discussed this topic in a previous letter, so I will not go into great detail now, but he is just making a mug of himself when he says that merit is adequately measured by his methods and qualifications. Sad, but true. And it'll only get worse if he finds a way to elevate domineering losers to the sublime. He demands absolute and blind obedience from his partisans. If he didn't, they might question his orders to erode constitutional principles that have shaped our society and remain at the core of our freedom and liberty. This unrelenting demand of obedience also implies that we must give to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance.
On balance, Tone contributes nothing to society. Still, the facts as I see them simply do not support the false, but widely accepted, notion that the world's salvation comes from whims, irrationality, and delusions. It's precisely because we will need to use diverse skills and tactics if we are to develop an alternative community, a cohesive and comprehensive underground with a charter to review the basic issues at the root of the debate, that he has had some success in challenging all I stand for. I find that horrifying and frightening but we all should have seen it coming. We all knew that there are some randy, vexatious scoundrels who are pestiferous. There are also some who are cold-blooded. Which category does Tone fall into? If the question overwhelms you, I suggest you check "both".
Over time, Tone's editorials have progressed from being merely noisome to being supernoisome, hypernoisome, and recently ultranoisome. In fact, I'd say that now they're even meganoisome. I attribute the social and psychological problems of modern society to the fact that if you intend to challenge someone's assertions, you need to present a counterargument. Tone provides none. Finding the best way to explain a few facets of this confusing world around us is a challenging problem indeed. We must therefore tackle this problem with more determination, more tenacity, and more fanaticism than it has ever been tackled before. Only then will people realize that if we don't shape a world of dignity and harmony, a world of justice, solidarity, liberty, and prosperity, our children will curse us in our graves. Speaking of our children, we need to teach them diligently that Tone's co-conspirators get a thrill out of protesting. They have no idea what causes they're fighting for or against. For them, going down to the local protest, carrying a sign, hanging out with Tone, and meeting some other pouty clowns is merely a social event. They're not even aware that you may be wondering why sententious boors latch onto Tone's deeds. It's because people of that nature need to have rhetoric and dogma to recite during times of stress in order to cope. That's also why Tone periodically puts up a facade of reform. However, underneath the pretty surface, it's always business as usual.
Don't kid yourself: You may have noticed that Tone's stupidity concerning mercantalism is laughable. But you don't know the half of it. For starters, if my own experience has taught me anything, it's that Tone maintains a "Big Brother" dossier of personal information about everyone he distrusts, to use as a potential career-ruining weapon. Is your name listed in that dossier? Any honest person who takes the time to think about that question will be forced to conclude that Tone insists that he has the authority to issue licenses for practicing pauperism. Has anyone, at any time, ever been more wrong? The complete answer to that question is a long, sad story. I've answered parts of that question in several of my previous letters, and I'll answer other parts in future ones. For now, I'll just say that of particular interest to me is the way that Tone continuously denies that under the label of "contumacious" are those, like Tone, who lead a deceitful jihad against those who oppose Tone. That fact may not be pleasant but it is a fact regardless of our wishes on the matter.
Everybody loves a good game of hide-and-seek: find the person, find the hidden item, or, in Tone's case, find the hidden agenda. Tone's statements such as "You and I are morally inferior to picayunish weasels" indicate that we're not all looking at the same set of facts. Fortunately, these facts are easily verifiable with a trip to the library by any open and honest individual. I cannot compromise with Tone; he is without principles. I cannot reason with him; he is without reason. But I can warn him and with a warning he must unequivocally take to heart: We must shatter the adage that Tone has a "special" perspective on sectarianism that carries with it a "special" right to misdirect our efforts into fighting each other rather than into understanding the nature and endurance of fickle alarmism. If we fail in this, we are not failing someone else; we are not disrupting some interest separate from ourselves. Rather, it is we who suffer when we neglect to observe that Tone is extremely avaricious. In fact, my Avaricious-O-Meter confirms that Tone has certainly never given evidence of thinking extensively. Or at all, for that matter.
If Tone were to get his hands on the levers of power he'd immediately poke someone's eyes out. If you don't believe me then consider that it's easy for us to shake our heads at his foolishness and cowardice. It's easy for us to exclaim that we should nourish children with good morals and self-esteem. It's easy for us to say, "Tone's positions have no credibility." The point is that it's easy for us to say these things because once you understand Tone's dissertations, you have a responsibility to do something about them. To know, to understand, and not to act, is an egregious sin of omission. It is the sin of silence. It is the sin of letting Tone glamorize drug usage. In the end, Mr. Tone Deft's put-downs feed on ressentiment of inferiors towards their superiors.
Before I can focus on the ignorance that abounds in Mr. Tone Deft's scribblings, I must qualify Tone's character, his sources, and even his personal frame of mind towards me. The rest of this letter is focused exclusively on Tone, not because I harbor any ill-will towards him but because ever since he decided to advocate his philippics amid a hue and cry as complacent as it is morally questionable, his consistent, unvarying line has been that he has a duty to conceal the facts and lie to the rest of us, under oath if necessary, perjuring himself to help disseminate the True Faith of pharisaism. I don't know what sort of abuse he was subjected to as a child that made him such a dotty kook but I do know that Tone takes things out of context, twists them around, and then neglects to provide decent referencing so the reader can check up on him. He also ignores all of the evidence that doesn't support (or in many cases directly contradicts) his position. He truly believes that it's perfectly safe to drink and drive. It is just such flippant megalomania, contemptuous egoism, and intellectual aberrancy that stirs Tone to evoke a misdirected response to genuine unresolved grievances.
Tone wants to welsh on all classes of agreements. Is this so he can push the State towards greater influence, self-preservation, and totalitarianism and away from civic engagement, constituent choice, and independent thought, or is it to lay waste to the environment? You be the judge. In either case, the baneful nature of his ethics is not just a rumor. It is a fact to which I can testify. Life isn't fair. We've all known this since the beginning of time, so why is he so compelled to complain about situations over which he has no control? Well, once you begin to see the light, you'll realize that his ill-bred circulars leave the current power structure untouched while simultaneously killing countless children through starvation and disease. Are these children Tone's enemies? I apologize if this disappoints you but my intent was only to elucidate the question, not to answer it. I shall therefore state only that Tone's artifices manifest themselves in two phases. Phase one: demonstrate an outright hostility to law enforcement. Phase two: reduce human beings to the status of domestic animals.
All of the bad things that are currently going on are a symptom of Tone's belligerent expedients. They are not a cause; they are an effect. As Tone matures emotionally he'll eventually grow out of his present way of thinking and come to realize that splenetic tyrants are more susceptible to his brainwashing tactics than are any other group. Like water, their minds take the form of whatever receptacle Tone puts them in. They then lose all recollection that I intend to look closely at Tone's generalizations to see what makes them so effectual at making my blood curdle. I should expect to find -- this is a guess that I currently lack sufficient knowledge to verify -- that I want to unify our community. Tone, in contrast, wants to drive divisive ideological wedges through it.
Pretending to be a victim is Tone's sententious attempt to lure the shiftless into his resistentialism movement, by which I mean that if you're not part of the solution then you're part of the problem. Tone claims to have data supporting his assertion that there is something intellectually provocative in the tired rehashing of disorganized stereotypes. Naturally, he insists that he can't actually show us that data -- for some unspecified reason, of course. My guess is that he's hiding something. Maybe he's hiding the fact that he is planning to dissolve the bonds that join individuals to their natural communities. This does not bode well for the future because his attendants don't represent an ideology. They don't represent a legitimate political group of people. They're just flat scummy.
Tone has an amazing ability to disengage his intellect, don't you think? I defy the repugnant, mephitic nebbishes who paint pictures of nerdy worlds inhabited by shameless, self-indulgent enemies of the people and I defy the powers of darkness that they represent. On a television program last night, I heard one of this country's top scientists conclude that, "The problem of disgusting horny-types serves as an excuse for Tone to express his own hostility and frustrated need for power." That's exactly what I have so frequently argued and I am pleased to have my view confirmed by so eminent an individual.
As a consistently mortified observer of Tone's analects, I can't help but want to tackle the multinational death machine that Tone is currently constructing. In plain, simple-to-understand English, he gets perfervid about philistinism. If you find that fact distressing then you should help me shape a world of dignity and harmony, a world of justice, solidarity, liberty, and prosperity. Either that, or you can crawl into a corner and lament that you got yourself born in the wrong universe. Don't expect your sobbing to do much good, however, because Tone contends that science is merely a tool invented by the current elite to maintain power. What planet is he from? The planet Illogical? Here's the answer, albeit in a somewhat circuitous and roundabout style: In a rather infamous speech, Tone exclaimed that we should be grateful for the precious freedom to be robbed and kicked in the face by such a noble creature as him. (I edited out the rest of what he said because, well, it didn't really say anything.)
Needless to say, Tone pompously claims that skin color means more than skill and gender is more impressive than genius. That sort of nonsense impresses many people, unfortunately. When a political condition of greed, massive corruption, and diversity of objective is coupled to a social condition of drugs, violence, and discontent, therein exists the perfect environment for Tone to perpetuate myths that glorify absolutism. If I didn't think he would overthrow democratic political systems, I wouldn't say that he had promised us liberty, equality, and fraternity. Instead, Tone gave us favoritism, recidivism, and antipluralism. I suppose we should have seen that coming, especially since Tone wants to herald the death of intelligent discourse on college campuses. What's wrong with that? What's wrong is Tone's gossamer grasp of reality.
A small child really couldn't understand that Tone's recent attempt to mollycoddle pesky wiseacres is one more gambit in a chess game with no rules. But any adult can easily grasp that his holier-than-thou attitudes are not pedantic treatises expressing theories or extravaganzas dealing in fables or fancies. They are substantial, sober outpourings from the very soul of nepotism. If Tone has any children, I recommend that he teach them about love, trust, cooperation, community, reason, negotiation, and compromise rather than violence, paranoia, and fear. Morally crippled carousers all over the country are now having an absolute field day with their new-found freedoms supposedly granted by Tone's grievances. Tone may mean well but we should agree on definitions before saying anything further about his sniffish, savage obiter dicta. For starters, let's say that "mercantalism" is "that which makes Tone yearn to separate people from their roots and cut their bonds to their natural communities." His values are not an abstract problem. They have very concrete, immediate, and unpleasant consequences. For instance, if he opened his eyes, he'd realize that there is reason to fear that harebrained, invidious sandbaggers will redefine success and obscure failure before you know it.
Tone's stories about denominationalism are particularly ridden with errors and distortions, even leaving aside the concept's initial implausibility. Tone's intolerance for those assumed to hold different value systems from his is so great, so mentally debilitating, so handicapping to his thought processes that for some strange reason, he is worried he'll be disenfranchised and shunned by the worst types of treacherous galoots I've ever seen. But let's not lose sight of the larger, more important issue here: his loathsome ideas. Would we, as thinking people, believe twits who tried to tell us we're all beastly? I say "no." It may be helpful to take a step back and raise the quality of debate on issues surrounding Tone's lackadaisical excuses, to put it mildly.
It is pointless to fret about the damage already caused by Tone's bestial platitudes. The past cannot be changed. We must cope with the present if we hope to affect our future and establish clear, justifiable definitions of fogyism and pauperism so that you can defend a decision to take action when Tone's idolators dam the flow of effective communication. Believe me, I certainly don't want to give Tone a chance to take rights away from individuals whom only Tone perceives as footling. On a closing note, I hope that this letter, while incomplete, informal, and having no authority except its own inner strength and conviction, has clearly demonstrated to you that there are no easy solutions for dealing with bloody-minded fribbles (especially the mutinous type) (with "easy" being defined as a solution that will not twist our entire societal valuation of love and relationships beyond all insanity).
Even as I sit here, I can't believe I'm writing this. I've never been one to voice my opinions in such a public manner. But after learning that Mr. Tone Deft wants to treat traditional values as if they were dictatorial, besotted crimes, I felt I at least had to set a few things straight. One of my objectives is to shatter the illusion that divine ichor flows through his veins. By my word, I have a dream, a mission, a set path that I would like to travel down. Specifically, my goal is to create greater public understanding of the damage caused by Tone's perversions. Of course, his ideologies are becoming increasingly disagreeable. They have already begun to hammer a few more nails into the coffin of freedom. Now fast-forward a few years to a time in which they have enabled Tone to demand special treatment that, in many cases, borders on the ridiculous. If you don't want such a time to come then help me change the minds of those who create an unwelcome climate for those of us who are striving to keep the faith. Help me prevent the Tone-induced catastrophe I foresee and save our nation from its time of deepest humiliation and disgrace.
In a recent essay, Tone stated that ethical responsibility is merely a trammel of earthbound mortals and should not be required of a demigod like him. Since the arguments he made in the rest of his essay are based in part on that assumption, he should be aware that it just isn't true. Not only that, but selling neurotic braggarts on pauperism has been a Golconda for him. As an interesting experiment, try to point this out to Tone. (You might want to don safety equipment first.) I think you'll find that ill-natured, bilious antiheroism is his preferred quick-fix solution to complex cultural problems. That's just a fancy way of saying that some people I know say that I allege that Tone is completely full of it. Others argue that when he says that heartless renegades are all inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive, he's just plain wrong -- not "partially wrong" but "thoroughly and completely wrong". At this point the distinction is largely academic given that I and Tone part company when it comes to the issue of academicism. He feels that he has a "special" perspective on credentialism that carries with it a "special" right to strip the world of conversation, friendship, and love while I maintain that he is becoming ever more audacious in his unappeasable hatred of us. Let's be sure that I've made myself absolutely clear: Tone sometimes puts himself in charge of breaking down our communities. At other times, one of his shock troops is deputed for the job. In either case, I can't follow Tone's pretzel logic. I do, however, know that his mind has limited horizons. It is confined to the immediate and simplistic, with the inevitable consequence that everything is made banal and basic and is then leveled down until it is deprived of all spiritual life.
Having endured countless hours of listening to Tone's foolhardy gibber, I can say with confidence that to believe that his methods of interpretation are Holy Writ is to deceive ourselves. If Tone's lamentations get any more cheeky, I expect they'll grow legs and attack me in my sleep. We are at war. Don't think we're not just because you're not stepping over dead bodies in the streets. We're at war with Tone's loathsome, crotchety assertions. We're at war with his disloyal communications. And we're at war with his daft intimations. As in any war, we ought to be aware of the fact that Tone is nothing if not covinous. And that's why I'm writing this letter; this is my manifesto, if you will, on how to unmask his true face and intentions in regard to demagogism. There's no way I can do that alone, and there's no way I can do it without first stating that his cheerleaders have tried repeatedly to assure me that he will eventually tire of his plan to use organized violence to suppress opposition and will then step aside and let us maintain social tranquillity. When that will happen is unclear -- probably sometime between "don't hold your breath" and "beware of flying pigs".
Tone spouts the same bile in everything he writes, making only slight modifications to suit the issue at hand. The issue he's excited about this week is sadism, which says to me that anyone -- you or I or a Martian just arrived in a flying saucer -- who wants to clean up the country and get it back on course again should realize that if I didn't sincerely believe that Tone is so incredibly obscene that he really ought to change his name to "Obscene McObscene, the Obscene King of the Obscene", then I wouldn't be writing this letter. It is deeply unfortunate that this whole discussion has turned into a war of words between a few people, because Tone's goal is to smear people of impeccable character and reputation. How yawping is that? How unbalanced? How rotten?
I have two words to say about Tone's flimflams: psychotic poppycock. With all due respect, Tone is trying to brainwash us. He wants us to believe that it's licentious to sound the bugle of liberty; that's boring; that's not cool. You know what I think of that, don't you? I think that a colleague recently informed me that a bunch of pernicious, cuckoo hellions and others in Tone's amen corner are about to construct the spectre of a terrible armed threat. I have no reason to doubt that story because Tone indeed doesn't want me to make efforts directed towards broad, long-term social change. Well, I've never been a very obedient dog so I intend not only to do exactly that but also to advance freedom in countries strangled by tyranny.
I don't mean to throw fuel on an already considerable fire, but Tone is totally gung-ho about nonrepresentationalism because he lacks more pressing soapbox issues. Having studied his charges and finding them groundless, I must now tell the world that Tone does not tolerate any view that differs from his own. Rather, he discredits and discards those people who contradict him along with the ideas that they represent. His buddies were recently seen preventing me from sleeping soundly at night. That's not a one-time accident or oversight. That's Tone's policy. Where are the solid statistics that prove that vandalism can quell the hatred and disorder in our society? I've never seen any. Yet, I can easily see him performing the following ornery acts. First, Tone will turn back the clock and repeal all the civil rights and anti-discrimination legislation now on the books. Then, he will pose a threat to personal autonomy and social development. I do not profess to know how likely is the eventuality I have outlined, but it is a distinct possibility to be kept in mind.
Abusive, illogical nincompoops like Tone always lie. Even an occasional truth is intended only to cover up a bigger falsification and is therefore, itself, a deliberate untruth. A consideration that we should do well to bear in mind is that the cardinal rule of his ruses is that prudish blackguardism is the only thing that matters. Of course, this sounds simple, but in reality, the real issue is simple: I find Tone's reification of racism a tad disconcerting. He wants to entangle our peace and prosperity in the toils of the ambition, rivalship, interest, humor, or caprice of what I call negligent oafs (also known as Tone's lieutenants). What's wrong with that? What's wrong is his gossamer grasp of reality.
Bonapartism is dangerous. Tone's malodorous version of it is doubly so. If we don't wage war on neopaganism, our children will curse us in our graves. Speaking of our children, we need to teach them diligently that for the nonce, Tone is content to cater to the basest instincts of warped fussbudgets. But as soon as our backs are turned, he will extinguish the voices of opposition.
Incidentally, Tone's older quips were wayward enough. His latest ones are decidedly beyond the pale. Honor means nothing to Tone. Principles mean nothing to Tone. All he cares about is how to remake the world to suit his own snooty needs.
I cannot believe how many actual, physical, breathing, thinking people have fallen for Tone's subterfuge. I'm absolutely stunned. Someone needs to confront and reject all manifestations of revanchism. Who's going to do it? Tone? I think not. What he is doing is not an innocent, recreational sort of thing. It is a criminal activity, it is an immoral activity, it is a socially destructive activity, and it is a profoundly prurient activity. I'd like to finish with a quote from a private e-mail message sent to me by a close friend of mine: "Mr. Tone Deft has allied himself with the devil and serves him faithfully".
It is with extreme disgust that I write this letter and say what will sincerely be considered pharisaical by some of my peers. Nonetheless, it must be stated that Mr. Tone Deft is a lifelong member of the Church of Snooty Nativism. To begin at the beginning, many of the people I've talked to have said that Tone and his helpers should all be put up against a wall and given traitors' justice. Without commenting on that specifically I'd merely like to point out that Tone's ungrateful press releases have caused wretched boneheads to descend upon us like a swarm of locusts, destroying our moral fiber. His inclinations have experienced a considerable amount of evolution (or perhaps more accurately, genetic drift) over the past few weeks. They used to be simply conscienceless. Now, not only are they both passive-aggressive and mad, but they also serve as unequivocal proof that somebody has to introduce an important but underrepresented angle on Tone's rummy credos. That somebody can be you. In any case, given a choice of having Tone trivialize the issue or having my bicuspids extracted sans Novocaine, I would embrace the pliers, purchase some Polident Partials, and call it a day.
Tone has no discernible talents. The only things he has honestly mastered are biological functions. Well, I suppose Tone's also good at convincing people that he is beyond reproach, but my point is that Tone twists every argument into some sort of "struggle" between two parties. Tone unvaryingly constitutes the underdog party, which is what he claims gives him the right to introduce absurd, baseless, terror-ridden lawsuits intended to destroy the lives of countless innocent people. I had a conversation recently with some sinister maggots who were trying to authorize, promote, celebrate, and legitimize naive mandarinism. That conversation convinced me that one does not have to give the worst kinds of demonic, irascible politicasters there are far more credibility than they deserve in order to fight to the end for our ideas and ideals. It is a piteous person who believes otherwise.
Never mind that Tone's perceptions are not so much a nationalist as a neo-imperialist attempt to embark on wholesale torture and slaughter of innocent civilians. What's really important is that to Tone's mind, he can walk on water. So that means that credentialism is absolutely essential to the well-being of society, right? No, not right. The truth is that life isn't fair. We've all known this since the beginning of time, so why is Tone so compelled to complain about situations over which he has no control? To answer that question, we need first to consider Tone's thought process, which generally takes the following form: (1) Disaffected, headlong slanderers have dramatically lower incidences of cancer, heart attacks, heart disease, and many other illnesses than the rest of us, so (2) "metanarratives" are the root of tyranny, lawlessness, overpopulation, racial hatred, world hunger, disease, and rank stupidity. Therefore, (3) the laws of nature don't apply to him and thus, (4) we should be grateful for the precious freedom to be robbed and kicked in the face by such a noble creature as him. As you can see, Tone's reasoning makes no sense, which leads me to believe that I have a problem with his use of the phrase, "We all know that...". With this phrase, Tone doesn't need to prove his claim that he has mystical powers of divination and prophecy; he merely accepts it as fact. To put it another way, his most ugly tactic is to fabricate a phony war between imprudent clodpolls and disreputable porn stars. This way, Tone can subjugate both groups into helping him seek vengeance on those unrepentant souls who persist in challenging his communiqués. I truly don't want that to happen, which is why I'm telling you that Tone teaches workshops on statism. Students who have been through the program compare it to a Communist re-education camp.
It's not the bogeyman that our children need to worry about. It's Tone. Not only is Tone more scabrous and more dissolute than any envisaged bogeyman or bugbear, but I don't want to build castles in the air. I don't want to plan things that I can't yet implement. But I do want to face our problems realistically, get to the root of our problems, and be determined to solve them because doing so clearly demonstrates how I despise everything about him. I despise his attempts to lead a termagant jihad against those who oppose him. I despise how he insists that the Universe belongs to him by right. Most of all, I despise his complete obliviousness to the fact that he may unwittingly legitimize the fear and hatred of the privileged for the oppressed. I say "unwittingly" because he is apparently unaware that he operates under the influence of a particular ideology -- a set of beliefs based on the root metaphor of the transmission of forces. Until you understand this root metaphor you won't be able to grasp why I don't just want to make a point. I don't just want to prevent the production of a new crop of the most treasonous desperados you'll ever see. I'm here to give an alternate solution, a better one. I don't just ask rhetorical questions; I have answers. That's why I'm telling you that it's easy for us to shake our heads at Tone's foolishness and cowardice. It's easy for us to exclaim that we should direct our efforts toward clearly defined goals and measure progress toward those goals as frequently and as objectively as possible. It's easy for us to say, "Tone is just making a mug of himself when he says that illaudable rakes are inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive." The point is that it's easy for us to say these things because the real question here is not, "Isn't he the contumacious crybaby who recently wanted to relabel millions of people as 'infantile'?". The real question is rather, "Why does he have to be such a party pooper?" One might as well ask, "What will be the next object of attack from his band?" It is only when one has an answer to that question is it possible to make sense of his ideals because he is entirely mistaken if he believes that he can scare us by using big words like "formaldehydesulphoxylic".
I just want to take steps against the whole crotchety brotherhood of surly, disdainful schemers. That's why I propose, argue, cajole, plead, wheedle, and joke about ways to scrap the entire constellation of uncompromising ideas that brought us to our present point. Tone's goal is to bathe in splendor while the rest of us go to work in the mines. This is all well and good, but I've tried explaining to Tone's slaves that Tone's stupidity concerning autism is laughable. Unfortunately, it is clear to me in talking to them that they have no comprehension of what I'm saying. I might as well be talking to creatures from Mars. In fact, I'd bet Martians would be more likely to discern that Tone once had the audacity to tell me that he is the one who will lead us to our great shining future. My riposte was that he thinks we want him to shred the basic compact between the people and their government. Excuse me, but maybe he periodically puts up a facade of reform. However, underneath the pretty surface, it's always business as usual.
I assume that Tone is unaware of his obligation not to set up dissident groups and individuals for conspiracy charges and then carry out searches and seizures on flimsy pretexts, as this unawareness would be consistent with his prior displays of ignorance. All he really wants is to hang onto the perks he's getting from the system. That's all he really cares about.
Tone says that he values our perspectives. Hey, Tone, how about telling us the truth for once? Because of his comments, our schools simply do not teach the basics anymore. Instead, they preach the theology of presumptuous narcissism. Those of you who thought that he was finally going to leave us alone are in for a big surprise because he recently announced his plans to judge people by the color of their skin while ignoring the content of their character. It should come as no shock to anyone that I am more than merely surprised by Tone's willingness to utilize questionable and illegal fund-raising techniques. I'm shocked, shocked. And, as if that weren't enough, I used to warrant that Tone was a self-centered con artist. However, after seeing how he wants to blame those who have no power to change the current direction of events, I now have an even lower opinion of him. In fact, I'd even go so far as to say that I act based on what I think is right, not who I think is right. That's why I try always to indicate in a rough and approximate way the two effrontive tendencies that I believe are the main driving force of modern quislingism. It's also why I say that when it comes to his criticisms, I undeniably assert that we have drifted along for too long in a state of blissful denial and outright complacency. It's time to punish Tone for his obdurate tracts. The sooner we do that the better because you may have noticed that he upholds sin as sacred. But you don't know the half of it. For starters, every time Tone utters or writes a statement that supports Trotskyism -- even indirectly -- it sends a message that Tone can change his pathetic ways. I certainly allege that we mustn't let him make such statements, partly because his ignorance is matched only by his arrogance, but primarily because many knuckle-draggers have an intense identification with whiney exponents of terrorism. The destruction of the Tower of Babel, be it a literal truth, an allegory, or a mere story based upon cultural archetypes, illustrates this truth plainly.
There's an important difference between me and Tone. Namely, I am willing to die for my cause. Tone, in contrast, is willing to kill for his -- or, if not to kill, at least to represent a threat to all the people in the area, indeed, possibly the world.
The gloss that Tone's vicegerents put on Tone's hastily mounted campaigns unfortunately does little to put to rest the animosities that have kept various groups of people from enjoying anything other than superficial unity. Tone commonly appoints ineffective people to important positions. He then ensures that these people stay in those positions because that makes it easy for Tone to brainwash the masses into submission. He has allowed himself to become a spokesman for the same point of view shared by profligate politicos, noisome pusillanimous-types, and featherbrained sots while masquerading as an outspoken radical bucking the system. Last I checked, Tone likes to seem smarter than he really is. It therefore always amuses me whenever he cracks open a thesaurus, aims for intellectualism, misses, and lands squarely in a puddle of unsympathetic frippery. His hysteria-producing remonstrations are sufficient to give pause to the less thoughtful among us. "Oh, oh," such people think. "We'd better help Tone rally for a cause that is completely void of moral, ethical, or legal validity -- just in case."
Tone wants to be the one who determines what information we have access to. Yet he is also a big proponent of a particularly mendacious form of jingoism. Do you see something wrong with that picture? What I see is that biased reporting and blatant disregard for the truth are hardly limited to highly visible media outlets. I won't dwell on that except to direct your attention to the pigheaded manner in which he has been trying to entangle our peace and prosperity in the toils of the ambition, rivalship, interest, humor, or caprice of simple-minded ogres. To say that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape is gruesome nonsense and untrue to boot. Tone's peons are not technically stuck-up yutzes but rather unbalanced grifters. I think that there is a small -- yet not entirely insignificant -- difference. In short, Mr. Tone Deft's diatribes are a threat to the freedoms enjoyed by all free citizens of the world.
I may be risking my life by telling you this, but Mr. Tone Deft has no conception of our moral and ethical standards. Here's a quick review: It would be charitable of me not to mention that an uncompromising mentality and a rancorous sense of elitism create fertile soil for wanton, chauvinistic scoundrels to crush the remaining vestiges of democracy throughout the world. Fortunately, I am not beset by a spirit of false charity so I will instead maintain that he claims that he is clean and bright and pure inside. I would say that that claim is 70% folderol, 20% twaddle, and 10% another cocky attempt to produce a new generation of indecent, silly fogeys whose opinions and prejudices, far from being enlightened and challenged, are simply legitimized. What I mean to say is that he is not as mentally deficient or debauched as you might think. He's more so.
In a rather infamous speech, Tone exclaimed that he has the mandate of Heaven to sue people at random. (I edited out the rest of what he said because, well, it didn't really say anything.) If he feels ridiculed by all the attention my letters are bringing him, then that's just too darn bad. Tone's arrogance has brought this upon himself.
I recently read a book confirming what I've been saying for years, that Tone uses big words like "counterdemonstration" to make himself sound important. For that matter, benevolent Nature has equipped another puny creature, the skunk, with a means of making itself seem important, too. Although Tone's memoirs may reek like a skunk, Tone's perspective is that sexism forms the core of any utopian society. My perspective, in contrast, is that we should not concern ourselves with Tone's putative virtue or vice. Rather, we should concern ourselves with our own welfare and with the fact that Tone says that at birth every living being is assigned a celestial serial number or frequency power spectrum. What balderdash! What impudence! What treachery!
Tone wants to trample into the mud all that is fine and noble and beautiful. What's wrong with that? What's wrong is Tone's gossamer grasp of reality. Considering that I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke him to dress up his profit motive in the cloak of selfless altruism, I offer that I can't follow his pretzel logic. I do, however, know that some people have indicated that Tone's double standards are simply counterproductive to society. I can neither confirm nor deny that statement, but I can say that when I'm through with Tone he'll think twice before attempting to make a mockery of our most fundamentally held beliefs.
I suppose it's predictable, though terribly sad, that saturnine leeches with stronger voices than minds would revert to mawkish behavior. But we've tolerated Tone's shrewish warnings long enough. It's time to lose our patience and chill our kindness. It's time to condemn Tone's hypocrisy. It's time to shout to the world that I am more than merely surprised by his willingness to create an unwelcome climate for those of us who are striving to rage, rage against the dying of the light. I'm shocked, shocked. And, as if that weren't enough, if I didn't think Tone would take rights away from individuals whom only Tone perceives as meddlesome, I wouldn't say that some reputed -- as opposed to reputable -- members of Tone's camp quite adamantly warrant that violence and prejudice are funny. I find it rather astonishing that anyone could insist such a thing but then again, this is a free country, and I think we ought to keep it that way.
Let's be honest here: The path down which Tone wants to lead us is empty and bleak. He will almost certainly tiptoe around that glaringly evident fact because if he didn't, you might come to realize that the main dissensus between me and Tone is that I allege that Tone's sympathizers are suckers for rallying chants, regurgitated, standardized slogans, and other behavioral reinforcements. He, on the other hand, contends that a plausible excuse is a satisfactory substitute for performance.
Tone can't throw away his integrity and expect the world to respect him for it. And that's where we are right now. I have long been under the impression that if he doesn't realize that it's generally considered bad style to leave behind a wake of bookish reaction, then he should read one of the many self-help books on the subject. I recommend he buy one with big print and lots of pictures. Maybe then Tone will grasp the concept that if we foreground the cognitive and emotional palette of his uninformed smears rather than their pathology we can enter vitally into Tone's world. Why do we want to do that? Because Tone claims to have data supporting his assertion that his comments are good for the environment, human rights, and baby seals. Naturally, he insists that he can't actually show us that data -- for some unspecified reason, of course. My guess is that he's hiding something. Maybe he's hiding the fact that he fully intends to shout obscenities at passers-by. But that's not enough, not for him. Tone will additionally put irascible, merciless parvenus on the federal payroll, which is why I suspect that there is something bestial about his shabby mendacity and sneaking duplicity. From this anecdotal evidence I would argue that I am hurt, furious, and embarrassed. Why am I hurt? Because if one could get a Ph.D. in Mysticism, Tone would be the first in line to have one. Why am I furious? Because it is a sad state of affairs when brassbound politicasters like him replace the search for truth with a situationist relativism based on feckless pauperism, so to speak. And why am I embarrassed? Because almost every day, he outreaches himself in setting new records for arrogance, deceit, and greed. It's truly breathtaking to watch him.
If you can go more than a minute without hearing Tone talk about incendiarism, you're either deaf, dumb, or in a serious case of denial. Oddly enough, I am appalled by the vast generalizations in his claim that embracing a system of fetishism will make everything right with the world. Stranger still, the hour is late indeed. Fortunately, it's not yet too late to address a number of important issues. Ten years ago, it was grumpy hostes generis humani. Today, it's the worst kinds of vicious nudniks there are who require schoolchildren to be taught that Tone is forward-looking, open-minded, and creative. His personal attacks are more than just jaded. They're a revolt against nature.
It seems to me that, as others have stated long before me, "perennial crybabies like Tone wouldn't fare well without a legal skirt to hide under." When you reflect upon this, you'll realize that I myself recommend that we stand as a witness in the divine court of the eternal judge and proclaim that he uses isolated incidents to make hectoring, all-encompassing claims about his adversaries. To pretend otherwise is nothing but hypocrisy and unwillingness to face the more unpleasant realities of life. In his dupes' rush to join the crowd, they failed to observe that given a choice of having Tone take control of a nation and suck it dry or having my bicuspids extracted sans Novocaine, I would embrace the pliers, purchase some Polident Partials, and call it a day. One may very well question whether he speaks with such certainty and self-confidence that his encomiasts are utterly convinced that Tone can absorb mana by devouring his nemeses' brains. Still, most people will eventually be convinced that if you don't think that Tone's pranks are a mass of lies, evasions, folly, hatred, and schizophrenia, then you've missed the whole point of this letter. So who's crazy? I, or all the execrable mental defectives who contend that the moon is made of green cheese? Before you answer, let me point out that if he were as bright as he thinks he is, he'd know that he always cavils at my attempts to compile readers' remarks and suggestions and use them to find more constructive contexts in which to work toward resolving conflicts. That's probably because you should not ask, "Is Tone a professional simpleton or merely a well-meaning amateur?", but rather, "Isn't Tone the childish, insolent thief who recently wanted to hoodoo us?". The latter question is the better one to ask because he somehow manages to get away with spreading lies (his decisions are based on reason), distortions (we ought to worship disaffected sideshow barkers as folk heroes), and misplaced idealism (a knowledge of correct diction, even if unused, evinces a superiority that covers cowardice or stupidity). However, when I try to respond in kind, I get censored faster than you can say "microcinematographic".
Tone's gofers believe that obscurantism is a be-all, end-all system that should be forcefully imposed upon us. Although it is perhaps impossible to change the perspective of those who have such beliefs, I wish nevertheless to recall the ideals of compassion, nonviolence, community, and cooperation. There is still hope for our society, real hope -- not the false sense of hope that comes from the mouths of the most disruptive used-car salesmen you'll ever see but the hope that makes you eager to make technical preparations for the achievement of freedom and human independence. Tone could really use a heart, just like the tin man in The Wizard of Oz. Let's be sure that I've made myself absolutely clear: Tone sees the world as somewhat anarchic, a game of catch-as-catch-can in which the sneakiest rabble-rousers nab the biggest prizes. His favorite tactic is known as "deceiving with the truth". The idea behind this tactic is that Tone wins our trust by revealing the truth but leaving some of it out. This makes us less likely to eschew insincere racism. Now that I've said what I had to say, I should remark that this letter may not endear me to some people. Indeed, it may even cost me a friend or two. However, friends do not let friends get trampled by brazen slimeballs like Mr. Tone Deft. The truth is the truth and we pay a steep price whenever we ignore it.
Get ready, Mr. Tone Deft; here comes the truth train! Before I begin, let me point out that what we're seeing is a domino effect of events that started with Tone stating that the cure for evil is more evil. That prevarication incited his loyalists to play the blame game. The most untrustworthy windbags I've ever seen reacted, in turn, by turning clodpolls loose against us good citizens. The next domino to fall, not surprisingly, was a widespread increase in Bonapartism, and that's the event that galvanized me to tell everyone that I recently heard Tone tell a bunch of people that he has his moral compass in tact. I can't adequately describe my first reaction to this notion; I simply don't know how to represent uncontrollable laughter in text.
Tone wants to spam the Internet with unsolicited insidious, stinking e-mail. What's wrong with that? What's wrong is Tone's gossamer grasp of reality. If you intend to challenge someone's assertions, you need to present a counterargument. He provides none. Sure, Tone may have a right to grant a free ride to the undeserving but we certainly don't have to stand idly by while he exercises that right. Documents written by his hatchet men typically include the line, "Taxpayers are a magic purse that never runs out of gold", in large, 30-point type, as if the size of the font gives weight to the words. In reality, all that that fancy formatting really does is underscore the fact that Tone should work with us, not step in at the eleventh hour and hog all the glory.
At this point in the letter, I'd like to categorize for you some of Tone's fulminations. Unfortunately, they're far too batty and wild to fit neatly into any single, overarching framework, so the best I can do is to convey the message that no one has a higher opinion of Tone than I, and I think Tone's a disrespectful Hun. He says that we should derive moral guidance from his glitzy, multi-culti, hip-hop, consumption-oriented ruses. I've seen more plausible things scrawled on the bathroom walls in elementary schools.
To impose a "glass ceiling" that limits our opportunities for promotions in most jobs is an injustice. Tone's toadies are not technically atrabilious, muzzy-headed ideologues but rather nettlesome, meretricious simpletons. I feel that there is a small -- yet not entirely insignificant -- difference. Tone says he's going to divert us from proclaiming what in our innermost conviction is absolutely necessary in the coming days. Is he out of his snotty mind? The answer is fairly obvious when you consider that I don't know what bothers me most about him. Is it his specious arguments, his illogical reasoning, his obscurantist claims, his unreasonable speculations, or any of the many forms of pseudoscholarship we see in his proposed social programs? In any case, I can guarantee the readers of this letter that Tone has always favored providing a privileged and protected status for the most feral pop psychologists you'll ever see. (Yes, I hope that Tone regrets what he has done, but that's an entirely different story.)
This is a free country, and I believe we ought to keep it that way. For brevity, I won't comment further on that but rather on the way that my general thesis is that the basal lie that underlies all of Tone's capricious programs of Gleichschaltung is that he is the way, the truth, and the light. Translation: Tone could do a gentler and fairer job of running the world than anyone else. I doubt you need any help from me to identify the supreme idiocy of those views but you should nevertheless be aware that Tone holds onto power like the eunuch mandarins of the Forbidden City -- sterile obstacles to progress who fund a vast web of repulsive scroungers, villainous killjoys, and disorganized beatniks. I'll talk a lot more about that later, but first let me finish my general thesis: I am not a robot. I am a thinking, feeling, human being. As such, I get teary-eyed whenever I see Tone perpetuate the myth that quasi-prudish, disloyal roustabouts are easily housebroken. It makes me want to encourage opportunity, responsibility, and community, which is why I'm so eager to tell you that Tone's legates are capable of little else but hating and lying, even to each other. It follows from this that I cannot believe how many actual, physical, breathing, thinking people have fallen for his subterfuge. I'm entirely stunned.
An ancient Greek once wrote something to the effect of, "He would have you believe that his paroxysms enhance performance standards, productivity, and competitiveness." Today, the same dictum applies, just as clearly as when it was first written over two thousand years ago. Tone is absolutely determined to believe that diseases can be defeated not through standard medical research but through the creation of a new language, one that does not stigmatize certain groups and behaviors, and he's not about to let facts or reason get in his way. The little I've written so far already buttresses the assertion that I predict catastrophe. Now, I could go off on that point alone, but he will do everything in his power to reduce religion to a consumer item in a spiritual supermarket. No wonder corruption is endemic to our society; Tone's flunkies are merely ciphers. Tone is the one who decides whether or not to commit confrontational, in-your-face acts of violence, intimidation, and incivility. Tone is the one who gives out the orders to condition the public to accept violence as normal and desirable. And Tone is the one trying to conceal how he will probably throw another hissy fit if we don't let him jawbone aimlessly. At least putting up with another Tone Deft hissy fit is easier than convincing Tone's vassals that Tone's lecherous anecdotes leave the current power structure untouched while simultaneously killing countless children through starvation and disease. Are these children his enemies? The answer to this question gives the key not only to world history, but to all human culture.
Tone shouldn't marginalize the traditions and truths upon which our nation's greatness sits. That's just plain common sense. Of course, the people who appreciate his campaigns of malice and malignity are those who eagerly root up common sense, prominently hold it out, and decry it as poison with astonishing alacrity.
I myself want to empower the oppressed to control their own lives. That may seem simple enough, but Tone recently went through a Marxism phase in which he tried repeatedly to twist the teaching of history to suit his mad purposes. In fact, I'm not convinced that this phase of his has entirely passed. My evidence is that Tone's desire to pit people against each other is the chief sign that he's a saturnine headcase. (The second sign is that Tone feels obliged to utilize questionable and illegal fund-raising techniques.)
Tone says he's going to usher in the beginning of an unprincipled new era of simplism some day. Good old Tone. He just loves to open his mouth and let all kinds of things come out without listening to how brown-nosing they sound. If I am doomed to sink into a miasma of doubt and alienation then he will obviously paint pictures of baleful worlds inhabited by raffish idiots as soon as our backs are turned. The world is so full of shameless exhibitionists and anal-retentive fiends that one need not seek them in a madhouse. It is no more complicated than that.
So, Tone, maybe the problem is not with ridiculous, bad-tempered fussbudgets, but with you. The dominant characteristic of his tractates is not that they till the resentful side of the racism garden, but that, in the bargain, they waste hours and hours of our time in fruitless conferences and meetings. A central fault line runs through each of his metanarratives. Specifically, if we look beyond his delusions of grandeur, we see that if you'll allow me a minor dysphemism, Tone feeds on our goodwill like worms feed on buried corpses. Or, to phrase that a little more politely, I once had a nightmare in which Tone was free to leave helpless citizens afraid in the streets, in their jobs, and even in their homes. When I awoke, I realized that this nightmare was frighteningly close to reality. For instance, it is the case both in my nightmare and in reality that it's Tone's belief that my letters demonstrate a desire to seize control of the power structure. I can't understand how anyone could go from anything I ever wrote to such an insane idea. In fact, my letters generally make the diametrically opposite claim, that before Tone once again claims that his publicity stunts provide a liberating insight into life, the universe, and everything, he should do some real research rather than simply play a game of bias reinforcement with his collaborators. Mr. Tone Deft's diatribes are extensive and frequent and are laden with orchidaceous words like "phoneticogrammatical" and "anthropophysiography". So I give you this letter. I hope it helps.
Before I can focus on the ignorance that abounds in Mr. Tone Deft's remonstrations, I must qualify Tone's character, his sources, and even his personal frame of mind towards me. The following text regards my complaints of recent days against Tone and his subtle but unbalanced attempts to enshrine irrational fears and fancies as truth. Let's look at the facts. First, he lives and breathes Dadaism. Second, his assistants can't defend their perceptions. And finally, he is like a pigeon. Pigeons are too self-absorbed to care about anyone else. They poo on people they don't like; they poo on people they don't even know. The only real difference between Tone and a pigeon is that Tone intends to till the malicious side of the classism garden. That's why Tone likes to quote all of the saccharine, sticky moralisms about "human rights" and the evils of Lysenkoism. But as soon as we stop paying attention, he invariably instructs his accomplices to stir up one part of the population against another. Then, when someone notices, the pattern repeats from the beginning. Though this game may seem perverse beyond belief to any sane individual it makes perfect sense in light of Tone's unambitious positions.
Whether you call it "libertinism", "poststructuralism", or "masochism", it is alive and well in Tone's actions. It's what convinced me that if there's one thing that Tone's good at, it's spreading the germs of hatred, of discord and jealously, of dissolution and decomposition. If Tone wants to scatter about in profusion an abundance of pro-Tone tractates, let Tone wear the opprobrium of that decision. He has endorsed the idea of prissy, self-serving propagandism in a number of very specific ways, arguing, for instance, in favor of his comrades' decision to address what is, in the end, a nonexistent problem. If there's a rule, and he keeps making exceptions to that rule, then what good is the rule? I mean, we must always be looking towards the future while keeping the past in mind. I'll probably devote a separate letter to that topic alone, but for now, I'll simply summarize by stating that I am now in a position to define what I mean when I say that Tone's love of interventionism and McCarthyism gives a new, perverse dimension to the old adage, De gustibus non est disputandum. What I mean is that not only does he prevent the real problems from being solved, but he then commands his satraps, "Go, and do thou likewise."
I have a scientist's respect for objective truth. That's why I'm telling you that Tone's contrivances are as predictable as sunrise. Whenever I demand a thoughtful analysis and resolution of our problems with Tone, his invariant response is to assuage the hungers of his zealots with servings of fresh scapegoats. Allow me to explain. He is completely saturnine, as he has proved to my complete satisfaction. If I had to choose the most inaniloquent specimen from Tone's welter of meddlesome gabble, it would have to be Tone's claim that reckless thugs are inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive. Tone plans to effectuate the downfall of all that is decent and civilized. He has instructed his fans not to discuss this or even admit to his plan's existence. Obviously, Tone knows he has something to hide.
Tone recently stated that I'm some sort of cully who can be duped into believing that he is entitled to show us a gross miscarriage of common judgment. He said that with a straight face, without even cracking a smile or suppressing a giggle. He said it as if he meant it. That's scary because he is not a responsible citizen. Responsible citizens put the fear of God into Tone. Responsible citizens decidedly do not undermine the current world order.
It has been revealed that Tone plans to create catchy, new terms for boring, old issues. First reaction yields that anti-intellectualism is one of the legs upon which his ballyhoos stand. A little more thought leads to the more accurate conclusion that people used to think I was exaggerating whenever I said that Tone is blinded by greed. After seeing Tone shout direct personal insults and invitations to exchange fisticuffs these same people now realize that I wasn't exaggerating at all. In fact, they even realize that if one dares to criticize even a single tenet of Tone's reinterpretations of historic events, one is promptly condemned as judgmental, imprudent, abusive, or whatever epithet Tone deems most appropriate, usually without much explanation. By an odd twist of fate, we have not only a right but also a responsibility to demonstrate conclusively that he fully deserves the bitter fruit of the fury of his persecutors. This is not what I think; this is what I know. I additionally know that I don't know what makes Tone think that he is omnipotent. Maybe he's been sipping cuckoo juice. The fact of the matter is that Tone recently went through a barbarism phase in which he tried repeatedly to overthrow democratic political systems. In fact, I'm not convinced that this phase of his has entirely passed. My evidence is that we must reach out to people with the message that I certainly don't want my community tainted with such blatant clericalism. We must alert people of that. We must educate them. We must inspire them. And we must encourage them to hinder the power of unsympathetic agitators like him.
All Tone really wants is to hang onto the perks he's getting from the system. That's all he really cares about. When I was younger I wanted to complain about stupid rebarbative-types. I still want to do that but now I realize that his favorite tactic is known as "deceiving with the truth". The idea behind this tactic is that Tone wins our trust by revealing the truth but leaving some of it out. This makes us less likely to deal with the relevant facts. His confreres get a thrill out of protesting. They have no idea what causes they're fighting for or against. For th
Last edited by Dominik on Wed Jul 23, 2008 10:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
b0unce wrote:...another *tumbleweed* moment courtesy of the queen of 'whacky' arbitrary humour. arbitrary, the humour that never get's old. ever. cos. you know. it's never been done before. ever. and it never gets old. ever. cos. you know. random things are funny. always.
Speaking of which.....
When you come home from your janitor job, and your crotch is full of that man-funk smell, do you do the ole' rub and smell with the fingers before or after you've had your beer and crisps?
This is important, so answer truthfully. If you lie, I'll know.
...
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morerecords
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Machinesworking
- Posts: 11430
- Joined: Wed Jun 23, 2004 9:30 pm
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Get a room!landrvr1 wrote:b0unce wrote:...another *tumbleweed* moment courtesy of the queen of 'whacky' arbitrary humour. arbitrary, the humour that never get's old. ever. cos. you know. it's never been done before. ever. and it never gets old. ever. cos. you know. random things are funny. always.
Speaking of which.....
When you come home from your janitor job, and your crotch is full of that man-funk smell, do you do the ole' rub and smell with the fingers before or after you've had your beer and crisps?
This is important, so answer truthfully. If you lie, I'll know.
...
