Ableton Forum

8O wrote:"Doctor, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"Don't worry, you've just Tom Jones Syndrome."
"What's that? Is it common?"
"Well, it's not unusual."

Tommy Cooper iirc.

just find a list of his jokes. still incredibly funny.

I recently ran into a friend of mine who opened a cat house a few months ago.
"So how's business?"
"Not bad now" replied my friend."It was a little rough at first, had to do it all by hand."

casioaz1 wrote:A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer and a mop."

I like!

How do you make a kleenex dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

Pitch Black wrote:1st DJ: "You wanna go to the movies tonight?"

2nd DJ: "I don't know... who's the projectionist?"

Lol! Sensitive area here

end DJ worship!

OvertoneZero wrote:

Pitch Black wrote:1st DJ: "You wanna go to the movies tonight?"

2nd DJ: "I don't know... who's the projectionist?"

Lol! Sensitive area here

really.. now, granted, the projectionist doesn't grab the reels and jerk them back and forth while rhythmically gating the movie's audio.

You guys hear about the orgy at the circus?

It was fucking intense!

mikemc wrote:

OvertoneZero wrote:

Pitch Black wrote:1st DJ: "You wanna go to the movies tonight?"

2nd DJ: "I don't know... who's the projectionist?"

Lol! Sensitive area here

really.. now, granted, the projectionist doesn't grab the reels and jerk them back and forth while rhythmically gating the movie's audio.

NB: Joke lampoons dj's, not turntablists.

Q: How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?

A: You pick it up and suck it off.

My wife was feeling a bit down the other day, I said, "Come on, I'll take you up the star". She said, "Great! I haven't been to the pub in ages." I said, "Who said anything about a pub?"


I was walking through the graveyard the other day and saw a guy squatting behind a headstone.
I said 'Morning.'
He said, 'nah, just having a shit.'

UKRuss wrote: I was walking through the graveyard the other day and saw a guy squatting behind a headstone.
I said 'Morning.'
He said, 'nah, just having a shit.'

lol

[appalling geek joke]

Why do computers get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?

Because OCT 31 = DEC 25

[/appalling geek joke]

If you didn't get that, congratulations - you are a well adjusted human being.

10 ways to amuse a nerd.

1. make a list
10. do it in binary

Q: What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
A: Dr. Dre.

Q: Why did Snoop Dogg need an umbrella?
A; Fo Drizzle

:-p

A little boy was standing around eating a bag of candy when a stranger walked up to him and said, "You know, eating all that candy isn't good for your health."

To that the little boy replied, "My Grandfather lived to be 95 years old."

"Did he eat a lot of candy?" the stranger asked.

"No," said the little boy, "He minded his own fucking business."