Ableton Forum

gloomer wrote:How stupid.

I'm sorry farts belong in the bathroom not in music.

AGH WTF sick..

Am I the only guy not comfortable with this??

Play wrote:Hmmm...

Been recording your own farts huh?

One good reason never to buy a used mic on eBay!!

knotkranky wrote:

D DAS wrote:i need a synth (soft or hard) that can really squeeze out some farts. everything from soft delicate farts to rough rumbly farts.

i know what you are thinking, just sample your own farts and use those, but i have already, i have a whole fart load of farts mapped out in a sampler. i want to do a nice fart track that blends acoustic organic farts with cutting edge elektrik farts. the hip hop remix of the track will focus more on the acoustic farts and the more upbeat tekno remix will rely on the electro farts that the fart synth can create. the actual track its self will be an even mix of both acoustic and synth generated farts layed into a nice deep funky house track celebrating the gift of fart.

so please, were to go on this one. i thought NI with all of their selections would have a farktor or something available but no such luck. and operator i see has no fart presets.

help please.

d~

I happen to have some of the finest recorded farts around, imho.

4 different musicians on a perfect vintage Elam Telefunken 251 into a

vintage Neve 1081, to a vintage La2a, straight wired to a panasonic 3800.

That's a $22,000 signal chain in one of the finest studios in L.A. 4 minutes in total. Very nice. No joke.

One fartist has the longest, most intense farts in fart history, which could be used
for some fart pads. I could be convinced to throw them up on my ftp, but I may need to
contact ascap and clear the farts. This is serious stuff. If any farts are recognized
in your fart art, there would be hell to pay. Or maybe we should have our
fart publishers hash it out. Anyway, it's about as fine as fart quality can get. Interested?

D DAS wrote:

knotkranky wrote:

D DAS wrote:i need a synth (soft or hard) that can really squeeze out some farts. everything from soft delicate farts to rough rumbly farts.

i know what you are thinking, just sample your own farts and use those, but i have already, i have a whole fart load of farts mapped out in a sampler. i want to do a nice fart track that blends acoustic organic farts with cutting edge elektrik farts. the hip hop remix of the track will focus more on the acoustic farts and the more upbeat tekno remix will rely on the electro farts that the fart synth can create. the actual track its self will be an even mix of both acoustic and synth generated farts layed into a nice deep funky house track celebrating the gift of fart.

so please, were to go on this one. i thought NI with all of their selections would have a farktor or something available but no such luck. and operator i see has no fart presets.

help please.

d~

I happen to have some of the finest recorded farts around, imho.

4 different musicians on a perfect vintage Elam Telefunken 251 into a

vintage Neve 1081, to a vintage La2a, straight wired to a panasonic 3800.

That's a $22,000 signal chain in one of the finest studios in L.A. 4 minutes in total. Very nice. No joke.

One fartist has the longest, most intense farts in fart history, which could be used
for some fart pads. I could be convinced to throw them up on my ftp, but I may need to
contact ascap and clear the farts. This is serious stuff. If any farts are recognized
in your fart art, there would be hell to pay. Or maybe we should have our
fart publishers hash it out. Anyway, it's about as fine as fart quality can get. Interested?

omfg rolling on the floor laughing. that is a world class response to a nice stinky thread. are you serious? i want those farts. the fart track has been a novel idea for to long now. time to revolutionize music and bring it to life int he fartiest of fashions.

maybe it will catch on and artist all over the world of all genre's will start to incorporate farts into their music. sting or madonna or anyone could sing and have their own ass doing the back up farts. it would be great to end your show with a thank you and good night and then a big fart into the mic. god, i can smell it happening already.

knotkranky wrote:

D DAS wrote:i need a synth (soft or hard) that can really squeeze out some farts. everything from soft delicate farts to rough rumbly farts.

i know what you are thinking, just sample your own farts and use those, but i have already, i have a whole fart load of farts mapped out in a sampler. i want to do a nice fart track that blends acoustic organic farts with cutting edge elektrik farts. the hip hop remix of the track will focus more on the acoustic farts and the more upbeat tekno remix will rely on the electro farts that the fart synth can create. the actual track its self will be an even mix of both acoustic and synth generated farts layed into a nice deep funky house track celebrating the gift of fart.

so please, were to go on this one. i thought NI with all of their selections would have a farktor or something available but no such luck. and operator i see has no fart presets.

help please.

d~

I happen to have some of the finest recorded farts around, imho.

4 different musicians on a perfect vintage Elam Telefunken 251 into a

vintage Neve 1081, to a vintage La2a, straight wired to a panasonic 3800.

That's a $22,000 signal chain in one of the finest studios in L.A. 4 minutes in total. Very nice. No joke.

One fartist has the longest, most intense farts in fart history, which could be used
for some fart pads. I could be convinced to throw them up on my ftp, but I may need to
contact ascap and clear the farts. This is serious stuff. If any farts are recognized
in your fart art, there would be hell to pay. Or maybe we should have our
fart publishers hash it out. Anyway, it's about as fine as fart quality can get. Interested?

rbmonosylabik wrote:Oh, kind sir, I have exactly what you need...






...give me a sec...













...hmmm...













....

























...AHA!!!











http://www.ebaumsworld.com/fartboard.html

gloomer wrote:How stupid.

I'm sorry farts belong in the bathroom not in music.

AGH WTF sick..

Am I the only guy not comfortable with this??

D DAS wrote:i need a synth (soft or hard) that can really squeeze out some farts. everything from soft delicate farts to rough rumbly farts.

so please, were to go on this one. i thought NI with all of their selections would have a farktor or something available but no such luck. and operator i see has no fart presets.

help please.

d~

ze2be wrote:

D DAS wrote:i need a synth (soft or hard) that can really squeeze out some farts. everything from soft delicate farts to rough rumbly farts.

so please, were to go on this one. i thought NI with all of their selections would have a farktor or something available but no such luck. and operator i see has no fart presets.

help please.

d~

Eazy.

You can do this on almost all synths. You need a saw oscilator, an lfo that can modulate pitch, and a high pass filter.
Set an lfo to modulate the saw oscilators pitch, with a sine wave. Use a high pass filter.


Thats all.

Modulate the lfo frequency and the high pass filter cutof to make it expressive! This is basic dark-psy sounds

dango wrote:

knotkranky wrote:

D DAS wrote:i need a synth (soft or hard) that can really squeeze out some farts. everything from soft delicate farts to rough rumbly farts.

i know what you are thinking, just sample your own farts and use those, but i have already, i have a whole fart load of farts mapped out in a sampler. i want to do a nice fart track that blends acoustic organic farts with cutting edge elektrik farts. the hip hop remix of the track will focus more on the acoustic farts and the more upbeat tekno remix will rely on the electro farts that the fart synth can create. the actual track its self will be an even mix of both acoustic and synth generated farts layed into a nice deep funky house track celebrating the gift of fart.

so please, were to go on this one. i thought NI with all of their selections would have a farktor or something available but no such luck. and operator i see has no fart presets.

help please.

d~

I happen to have some of the finest recorded farts around, imho.

4 different musicians on a perfect vintage Elam Telefunken 251 into a

vintage Neve 1081, to a vintage La2a, straight wired to a panasonic 3800.

That's a $22,000 signal chain in one of the finest studios in L.A. 4 minutes in total. Very nice. No joke.

One fartist has the longest, most intense farts in fart history, which could be used
for some fart pads. I could be convinced to throw them up on my ftp, but I may need to
contact ascap and clear the farts. This is serious stuff. If any farts are recognized
in your fart art, there would be hell to pay. Or maybe we should have our
fart publishers hash it out. Anyway, it's about as fine as fart quality can get. Interested?

Where art thou fart sounds mr kranky?

pulsoc wrote:

ze2be wrote:

D DAS wrote:i need a synth (soft or hard) that can really squeeze out some farts. everything from soft delicate farts to rough rumbly farts.

so please, were to go on this one. i thought NI with all of their selections would have a farktor or something available but no such luck. and operator i see has no fart presets.

help please.

d~

Eazy.

You can do this on almost all synths. You need a saw oscilator, an lfo that can modulate pitch, and a high pass filter.
Set an lfo to modulate the saw oscilators pitch, with a sine wave. Use a high pass filter.


Thats all.

Modulate the lfo frequency and the high pass filter cutof to make it expressive! This is basic dark-psy sounds

Very close, but you also need to have a touch of white noise to round it out.