Ableton Forum

leonard wrote:i was hoping ther'd be swearing and name calling by now, at least a picture of some boobs.

I invented the apple logo. Plus I also started apple corps records and wrote all of the beatles songs (apart from any of Paul's solo stuff, that WASN'T me). For the last 25 years I've been involved in two massive legal battles about the same issue... then I realised... I was suing myself! I have been in a great big war with myself all this time...

Now where did this thread start... ?

djadonis206 wrote:I can top all that - I was the first black man on the planet and copyrighted my race - all those motherfuckers owe me big time

]
Really? I was told you invented the 6 inch black snickers. I was told it was good with coke. least that's what I heard.

I still stand by the assertion I invented black people

along with the 6 inch chocolate candy bar that goes well with Coke (doh!)

However, who can tell me who invented the question mark???

djadonis206 wrote:However, who can tell me who invented the question mark???

I think it was either this guy or the riddler.



and BTW don't you know that coke makes your snickers bar numb?

It's like the snickers is hard and ready to go add coke and you still want to go at it but when the coke gets in your sysytem nature takes over and well, you';re snickers bar can melt - sometimes right inside the mouth



anywayz - it was Dr. Evils DAD who claims he invented the question mark remember???


this famous scene from Austin Powers International Man of Mystery

THERAPIST
That's not true, Doctor. Please,
tell us about your childhood.

GROUP
Yes, of course. Go ahead, etc.

DR. EVIL
Very well, where should I begin? My
father was a relentlessly self-
improving boulangerie owner from
Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy
and a penchant for buggery. My mother
was a fifteen-year-old French
prostitute named Chloe with webbed
feet. My father would womanize, he
would drink, he would make outrageous
claims, like he invented the question
mark. Sometimes he would accuse
chestnuts of being lazy. A sort of
general malaise that only the genius
possess and the insane lament. My
childhood was typical.

Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make
meat helmets. If I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap
bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really. At the
age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the

age of fifteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically
shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shawn
scrotum. At the age of eighteen, I went off to evil medical
school. From there...

ANGLE ON THE THERAPIST AND THE GROUP. They are stunned.

+


=


Thats right corn... The majority of ingredients in those 2 products are made from corn...

LOL.

Apols, I've only just seen this thread.

Well...

I think looking back I didn't use much imagination in picking one of my artist names. However, it really stemmed from using a quote from the film in a track (who hasn't done that I hear you shout, fair enough) and then in a final act of desperation brought on by pressure to deliver I chose the name.

However, you will notice that I cunninglyswapped the two letters of the names to produce a new name. Although even that appears to have little imagination to it now I think about it.

I certainly wasn't aware that anyone on this forum would be using the real name from the film.

Because, of course, to use the real name would really show a lack of imagination wouldn't it.

I guess it might explain being ignored in the forum (apart from when I'm slagging off christians)

I guess that only leaves me to say:

"I'll flip ya, flip ya for real."

But if it bothers you that much, all you had to do was send me a PM and I would have re-registered as someone else.

Dooby Scoo or Mank Harvin or Wuckfod etc.

Don't know what this obsession is with spoonerisms...

Maybe I'm showing my age here, but when I was young, we didnt have the color blue. I invented blue, as well as sky blue. Everything else is a ripoff!

Seyser Koze wrote:I certainly wasn't aware that anyone on this forum would be using the real name from the film.

I invented the name before the film came out. My signature though is from the film seeing everyone associates the name with the Usual suspects.

Seyser Koze wrote:
I guess it might explain being ignored in the forum (apart from when I'm slagging off christians)

It could. Quite a few people here on this forum don't like me much. That's because, as you may have gathered by now, they don't like their views challenged and shown to have weak, unsophisticated methods of discourse and logic.

Seyser Koze wrote:LOL.

But if it bothers you that much, all you had to do was send me a PM and I would have re-registered as someone else.

It doesn't bother me really. I interpreted it as flattery and admiration.

Rogue Scrunt wrote:BLAh!

you are a liar!

Oh yea of little faith and imagination. If only you knew who I really was and the circles I mix in. Then you would eat your words. I am a reasonably successful musician whose music you have no doubt heard. But you most probably won't believe that and quite frankly I don't care. I will never reveal who I really am just to prove anything to anyone here. It makes no impact or difference to me what people here think of me as KEYSER SOZE.

I enjoy having this alter-ego and notoriety on this forum. We all have an element of the "dark side" in us and being KEYSER SOZE on this forum allows me to have that and be the prick that I would like to be sometimes but can't be in real life when I have to interact with real people and get things done. But seeing a lot of you here are quite a touchy bunch and overestimate your self importance, I get a kick out of being this masked marauder out to terrorise the stupid and inane. It is wonderful therapy. I see it purely as a virtual punching bag to release a bit of pent up stress and nothing more.
Anyway, I won't be able to contribute for a while here as I have a deadline to meet for a film score I am working on. I am sure that will please many of you.

Let me finally say, and I don't like rubbing it in, but will anyway. I am living the dream that a lot of you strive for and will probably never reach. I'll get on with my film score and the rest of you can get back to metephorically stacking shelves at your local supermarket. That, by the way, is KEYSER SOZE speaking. In my mild mannered Clark Kent persona, I would never say that to anyone. I would find it arrogant. I realise how lucky I am to be doing what I do.

Until my next installment, bye all. But I'll be back.

what's the point, buddy?


nobody cares.




grow a pair and be the prick you want to be without cowering behind an alias.




.lm.

I see!!! I'm being ignores because they think I'm you.

Now you've sopken up, whatever cool there might have been attached to the usual suspects gag has evaporated in a few sentences.

Now I think seyser koze makes me sound like a cunt.

And, I know because:

i actually invented cunts, well the shiny bit just inside anyway.

Those were the days...

While I still have 5 minutes, I'll respond

leisuremuffin wrote: what's the point, buddy?

No point, apart from this forum being a virtual punching bag to vent my anger on.

leisuremuffin wrote:
nobody cares.

If that were true, then you or anyone else would not respond but just ignore me.

leisuremuffin wrote:
grow a pair and be the prick you want to be without cowering behind an alias.

I am a bit like a high ranking politician who secretely makes use of the service of prostitutes. It is not in my interests to reveal who I am.

Seyser Koze wrote:I see!!! I'm being ignores because they think I'm you.

Now you've sopken up, whatever cool there might have been attached to the usual suspects gag has evaporated in a few sentences.

Now I think seyser koze makes me sound like a cunt.

And, I know because:

i actually invented cunts, well the shiny bit just inside anyway.

Those were the days...

Are you watching Judge Mathis right now?

Nope...What's happening??