Ableton Forum

i always spray my batter liberally to ensure maximum satisfaction

awrite darwin ere's me tongue gaw blimey i got enuff fer free innit luv

I like this thread

something that looks nice and makes for a nice starter/salad/side dish without taking hardly any effort:

1.cut a (not too small) tomatoe in half, scrape out the stuff in the middle so you basically have 2 tomatoe bowls.

2. open can of tuna, mash it with mayonnaise

3. stuff the tomatoe with tuna/mayo mix

4. add optical gimmick like a leaf of that green stuff (parsley?) or cayenne pepper

also something that doesn't take much effort and chick's might dig cause it has many colours:

1. take some vegetables (differently coloured peperonis, an onion, zuchini, whatever you like). cut them up in not too small chunks.

2. take pan, put a bit of butter in it, put vegetables in it and fry for a bit, season with salt and some seasoning mix or other. you don't need to fry them into oblivion, it's best when they're still juicy and, err..my english vocabulary fails here...

chicks eat with their eyes at least as much as with their palates, it makes it less likely for them to get fat, so you should nurture that by focusing on presentation. if she doesn't like the taste, she'll just think you have different tastes, whereas if it looks bad, she'll think you just don't give a shit (which might be true, but that's not the point). She'll be happy to see effort, and visual presentation is a much more obvious way of proving effort than the most elaborate marinating process with 1000 ingredients if it looks like porridge afterwards.

i didn't read any of the other suggestions but if you've got a grill - try to find a pack of cedar planks for grilling. go get a piece of fresh fish (salmon is good, tilapia and whiter fish are good too), season it with whatever (i like sea salt or if you've got some like fish seasoning already then use that). soak the plank in water for about 45 minutes in cold water. stick the fish on top of the cedar plank skin side down and then stick the whole thing on the grill. you want to cook till the fish flakes easily with a fork & the sides of the plank get a little charred. squeeze some lemon on when it's done.

for veggies i really like to cut asparagus up into green bean size pieces (cut at an angle). then i take some butter and melt it in a pan and add the asparagus in. just keep trying pieces as it cooks & stop when the texture feels right to you. it shouldn't crunch. alternately, you can boil it, of course.

also, if your oven has a broiler - you can do a good steak in less than 10 minutes. combine with twice baked potato or something. can't go wrong there...

whats with everyone and fish? i dont like fish. who wants to make out with a girl who stinks like fish?

lads and fire go always together, youre gonna look (and smell) like a Homo neanderthalensis. but chicks dig it!

1. get zucchini and aubergine. wash it, slice it. marinate with olive oil, garlic, black pepper from the mill and a little bit of lime juice. for maximum effect you need spices. fresh oregano, fresh basil, fresh thyme (better: lemon thyme) and marjoram. marinate LONG, the longer the better.

2. boil potatoes (not to death), cut them in half. again olive oil, black pepper and this time salt. pour it over the potatoes. herbs: you need fresh rosemary and sage. chop it and pour over the potatoes.

3. make some nice salad and make a dressing of choice.

4. make dips. best is a yoghurt base. put some olive oil in it, salt, pepper and mediterenian herbs of choice. avocado dip is cool too, especially for the potatoes.

5. fire up the grill. i always have this aluminium pans in handy (the vegetables are oiled, you need them, trust me) if you wanna look like a intellectual get some nice wine, i always scored with good beer.

6. eat and make her drunk.

shes fuckable after this. vegetables and dips dont bloat her up. avoid onions chicks think they smell bad afterwards, a little bit of garlic is important for the taste and she wont notice it.

this worked a couple of times, happy shaggin,

303

bukaki

/thread


and if the bitch don't like peanut butter, dump her ass.

nuxnamon wrote:she has a taste for asian dishes.

.

stjohn wrote:lakeshore pork..pretty easy too! and WOW.

Lakeshore Pork; Avoca Cafe cookbook


1.3kg/3lb diced leg of pork, well trimmed - fillet is even better
Seasoned flour:flour, salt, pepper,mustard powder and brown sugar
olive oil
600ml/1 pint apple juice
300ml/half a pint of chicken stock
2 tablespoons of Lakeshore or any other wholegrain mustard
30ml/ half a pint of cream

Toss the pork in the seasoned flour then brown it in the olive oil in batches.Place in a flameproof casserole dish and cover with the apple juice and stock. Add the mustard and bring to the boil, then transfer to an oven preheated to 180C/350F/gas 4 for 40 minutes. Remove from the oven, stir in the cream and return to the oven for 10 minutes.
If the sauce is too thin, remove the meat and keep warm. Put the casserole dish over a medium heat and simmer until the sauce reduces and thickens. Return the meat to the pan.


id serve it with some rice, or some asparagus, or both. and loads of wine, if you want to get some lovin

holy crap!! That's some Max/Msp kinda cooking.. looking more for a Fruity loops kinda deal..

You have got to be kidding. Look if that recipe was too complicated for you (and I'm telling you right now that that is EASY shit compared to most recipes), you might as well stick to fruit loops and milk for the meal.

Whatever you decide, I very strongly recommend that you try cooking it at least once before the big night. You need to have a chance to try it, make mistakes and learn when the pressure is off. This lesson was brought to you by my own disastrous experiences many, many years ago...

what's with all this vegetables and salad shit? did i miss that the chick is vegan or something? fucking cook some MEAT

aburgener wrote:what's with all this vegetables and salad shit? did i miss that the chick is vegan or something? fucking cook some MEAT

what are you, 12 years old?

aburgener wrote:what's with all this vegetables and salad shit? did i miss that the chick is vegan or something? fucking cook some MEAT

if you wanna get laid you need to put something in her that wont make her feel bloated. chicks dont like this, dunno why maybe because they think they gonna fart and/or puke.

303

yes.

i'm twelve because enjoy meals with items other than vegetables.

that makes perfect sense...

i'm not suggesting a 1/2 lb. bacon cheeseburger here

for some simple shit that looks and tastes impressive, learn how to do a simple risotto:

ingredients:

1 cup arborio rice (make sure you get arborio rice, makes all the difference and it's not much more than regular rice)
1 small yellow onion
about 4 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese
5 cups chicken broth


chop up the yellow onion fairly fine.

how to chop onion:
cut of both ends.
stand on now flat end.
cut in half.
take off paper outer peel.
put each half flat on cutting board.
cut lengthwise without cutting through the end.
cut width wise and you have small pieces now.

doing it the right way makes it fast and easy and you will be more likely to cook if its fast and easy.
here's a video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OZaKozS ... re=related

ignore the part where he cuts horizontally first, the horizontal cut is not needed because the onion is already naturally separated by layers on that plane.


put all of the chicken broth in a pot and get it simmering on your stove.
(a simmer is just steaming hot without boiling)

put the tablespoon of vegetable oil in a deep pan, at least 12" wide.
heat that shit up on med to med high heat.
throw in the onion and cook until it starts getting soft and slightly more golden colored. Maybe 5 minutes.
throw in a tablespoon of butter and melt it.
put in the raw arborio rice and stir it around so that the oil and butter coats it, keep stirring for about 2 minutes.
increase the heat a bit and add a ladle full of the simmering broth.
the heat should be hot enough that the broth starts boiling when it hits the pan.
when the ladle full has boiled away, add another ladle full of broth.
keep doing this and stirring until you're out of broth.
add the cheese and the rest of the butter and stir it up.
serve that shit.


i promise it's easy and good. When done right, the rice should have a little bit of bite to its center. not entirely cooked like regular rice.
this is really good with asparagus or green beans in it. If you want to do it that way, cut your asparaus or green beans and then put in boiling water for about 3 minutes and the drain. add them to the pan right after the onions are almost done then proceed as normal for the rest of the process.


this is a great side for something else simple, like a simple chicken breast:


two boneless chicken breast fillets.
One really large onion. white or yellow, no red.
some fresh rosemary.
salt
pepper
one bottle dry white wine.
one lemon.
two tablespoon butter
one tablespoon veg oil

trim the fat off the fillets and put them on a piece of wax paper.
fold the wax paper over the breasts and pound those shits with a mallet.
you pound them so they are an even thickness and so that they suck up the flavors better.

chop up your onion. But chop it thick this time. no need to make any scoring cuts, just cut off the ends, chop in half, remove peel, and cut against the grain getting half inch wide slices.

take the rosemary leaves off the stalk. Get about 2 tablespoons worth.

juice the lemon.



now, put a big pan on the stove and heat that shit up to med hi heat with the oil and butter in it.
when it's hot, but the oil is not smoking, put the fillets in smooth side down. shit should sizzle.
throw the onion in.
throw half the rosemary on top of the fillets.
put some salt and pepper on those shits.
cook about 7 minutes on that side, then pour the lemon juice in to unstick the fuckers and turn them with tongs.
put the rest of the rosemary on top and salt and pepper again.
cook for 7 minutes on the last side.

turn up the heat, throw in some wine, maybe about a full glass worth, and stir that shit around until the wine is almost all gone.
if you got it right, the whole thing should be browned and the onions should be kind of carmalized in there.
really good shit.

throw em on a plate with your risotto and serve it.

if you want to really blow minds and clog arteries, cook two strips of bacon in the pan and instead of using vegetable oil cook the chicken in bacon fat and butter. then at the end crumble and add the bacon after you cook off the wine.


just give it a try, it's really easy and really good.



and once you can cook one thing, you'll want to learn more. It gets easier and easier as you progress.





.lm.

leisuremuffin, that is NOT very Hip Hop.