Ableton Forum

dhilsabeck wrote:A little boy was standing around eating a bag of candy when a stranger walked up to him and said, "You know, eating all that candy isn't good for your health."

To that the little boy replied, "My Grandfather lived to be 95 years old."

"Did he eat a lot of candy?" the stranger asked.

"No," said the little boy, "He minded his own fucking business."

- what's that useless skin around the pussy?


...the woman

A little more misogyny...


Why do women bleed once a month?






Because they deserve it.

Why do husband die before their wives?

Because they both prefer it that way.

A vicar checking into a hotel, goes up to the clerk and says "I hope the porn in my room is disabled"

Clerk replies "No it's normal porn you sick bastard".

Q. Why should you wear pants when walking around?

A. http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=372_1243563675

hoffman2k wrote:Q. Why should you wear pants when walking around?

A. http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=372_1243563675

Q did you hear what happened to the gay magician

A he dissappered with a poof.

A man walks into a pub with a salmon under his arm. He asks the barman, "Do you do fishcakes?"
The barman shakes his head.
"Shame", says the man, "It's his birthday".


-----

Q: What has anal sex got in common with spinach?
A: If you were forced to have it as a child, chances are you won't like it as an adult.

Q. What's the hardest part about being a keyboard player in a rock band?

A. Telling your mom that you're gay.

a very old man goes into a catholic church to confess his sins

"Father, I have sinned many years ago"

"What did you do my son"

"It was way back at the beginning of World War I, I was living in germany and this beautiful young Jewish girl came to my door. She was looking for a place to hide, so I let her in. Over time as I fed her and sheltered her she felt it only right to repay me with sexual favors. Father, I am a weak willed man and I couldn't say no, she gave me sexual favors the whole time she stayed with me"

"My son, during times of war many men do things they regret, the lord forgives you"

"Hh thank you Father. Just one thing though.. do you think I should tell her the war is over?"

"whats the worst thing about techno?"

"I don't know, what?"

"whats the worst thing about techno?"

"I don't know, what?"

"whats the worst thing about techno?"

"I don't know, what?"

"whats the worst thing about techno?"

"I don't know, what?"

"whats the worst thing about techno?"

"I don't know, what?"

Angstrom wrote: Q: What has anal sex got in common with spinach?
A: If you were forced to have it as a child, chances are you won't like it as an adult.

holy mother of god thats funny!

Johnisfaster wrote:"whats the worst thing about techno?"

"I don't know, what?"

great, now I have that song stuck in my head.

Daft Punk??

Around the fail, around the fail...