Ableton Forum

LooooooooooooL!!!

oh man this thread got real great keep it comin! LOLOLOLOL!

BTW, you may want to change your identity in advance to avoid getting socially devoured in the future

ay where did the guy that started the thread go? either he's sleeping or just crying his eyes out because he cant find out how to stretch time with Live.

Time is an abstract concept created by man in an attempt to quantify Entropy. Entropy is the natural flow and transductance of all energy into background radiation. This radiation is sometimes loosly defined as "heat", however it is not concentrated within the low frequency infrared spectrum, but instead represents nearly the entire electromagnetic spectrum in extremely small quantities (imagine cosmic white-noise). Sorry for the long drawn out intro, but this is necessary to understand the following point. Time cannot be altered, except by one particular kind of astronomical body... the black hole. Because a black hole absorbs ALL of the electromagnetic spectrum with no energy released, it defies entropy, and therefore it can alter time.

I have recently spoken with several members of the Ableton Live development team, including Stephen Hawking, and they have informed me that Live 6 will include a fully functioning black hole engine to facilitate proper time stretching, as well as allow the folding of space for the purpose of instantaneous travel over even the most extreme distances. This will truly be a revolutionary peice of software, however it is rumored that other developers will be implimenting similar features in upcoming releases. Logic 8 will include thier new Quasar engine, boasting very similar capabilities to Live 6. Cubase SX4 is rumored to include thier new time stretching system called "White Dwarf" and Fruity Loops is set to release thier engine based on the principles behind the bianary star gravity lens. All in all, the music software industry is gearing up for some major releases aimed at giving the user more controll over time and space, as well as astronomical bodies capable of consuming our solar system in a matter of minutes. Looks like its going to be an exciting NAMM next year!!

Vercengetorex wrote:Time is an abstract concept created by man in an attempt to quantify Entropy. Entropy is the natural flow and transductance of all energy into background radiation. This radiation is sometimes loosly defined as "heat", however it is not concentrated within the low frequency infrared spectrum, but instead represents nearly the entire electromagnetic spectrum in extremely small quantities (imagine cosmic white-noise). Sorry for the long drawn out intro, but this is necessary to understand the following point. Time cannot be altered, except by one particular kind of astronomical body... the black hole. Because a black hole absorbs ALL of the electromagnetic spectrum with no energy released, it defies entropy, and therefore it can alter time.

I have recently spoken with several members of the Ableton Live development team, including Stephen Hawking, and they have informed me that Live 6 will include a fully functioning black hole engine to facilitate proper time stretching, as well as allow the folding of space for the purpose of instantaneous travel over even the most extreme distances. This will truly be a revolutionary peice of software, however it is rumored that other developers will be implimenting similar features in upcoming releases. Logic 8 will include thier new Quasar engine, boasting very similar capabilities to Live 6. Cubase SX4 is rumored to include thier new time stretching system called "White Dwarf" and Fruity Loops is set to release thier engine based on the principles behind the bianary star gravity lens. All in all, the music software industry is gearing up for some major releases aimed at giving the user more controll over time and space, as well as astronomical bodies capable of consuming our solar system in a matter of minutes. Looks like its going to be an exciting NAMM next year!!

So does that mean that follow actions will be Live's space-time continuum? Because that would be sweet. Unless it were viewed (or heard) from two different points of reference, then it could get confusing or maybe just sound like glitch. I'm sure they'd put together a monthly tip tutorial on that!

TIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMEEEEEEEEE


Is on my side


yes it is!

(Thanks Mick and Keith)

The optimal answer is:

Does Robert drink bears in the dystopian wilderness?

this is brutal
.

so what does he mean by time stretch? tempo? quantum physics?

Livewire wrote:so what does he mean by time stretch? tempo? quantum physics?

Maybe a piece of silly putty with the word "Time" printed on it?

when i last saw the forum this afternoon, i saw this thread and thought 'surely no one is going near that third rail'

38 posts later... work it, forum

rachmanoff wrote:when i last saw the forum this afternoon, i saw this thread and thought 'surely no one is going near that third rail'

38 posts later... work it, forum

I think it is a way for the those of us who didn't make the beta to let off steam!

kennerb wrote:

rachmanoff wrote:when i last saw the forum this afternoon, i saw this thread and thought 'surely no one is going near that third rail'

38 posts later... work it, forum

I think it is a way for the those of us who didn't make the beta to let off steam!

http://lavender.fortunecity.com/jarman/ ... omm14a.wav

go big boy!

sweetjesus wrote:

kennerb wrote:

rachmanoff wrote:when i last saw the forum this afternoon, i saw this thread and thought 'surely no one is going near that third rail'

38 posts later... work it, forum

I think it is a way for the those of us who didn't make the beta to let off steam!

http://lavender.fortunecity.com/jarman/ ... omm14a.wav

go big boy!

Heh heh umm Ouch! Wow.

No Vercengetorex,

I must disagree here. Time it is not an invented concept. The problem lies in the fact that we are inhabiting space in bodies moving through time or rather interpreting our motion in time in only one direction. Although we may have vivid memories or precognition we seem to let ourselves become mired in the real abstraction which is 'linear time'.

This I feel is the crux of the issue.

Now if we start with the premise that time is not in fact linear but malleable, simultaneous etc. we can give the original poster the answer he so clearly needs to find.

Yes. Every-where. All-when. Quite stretchable in various directions.