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Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 12:16 am
by dcease
y'all a bunch of pussies, chasin after pussy. pussy chases me, i've almost been raped by women. i've had female strippers give me coke, meth whores give me meth, bitches trying to get me drunk... i've had far more thrown at me than i ever chased.
but i did initiate contact with wifey. i walked up to the bar, she gave me "that" look, and i said, "hey! i have a tattoo on my head too!" she said show me, then bought me a shot of patron. the rest is history...
4reel.
and for thefool, i lost my virginity to an asian chick. who took ME to homecoming. and always bought ME shit. fuck, i'd better shut up now...
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 12:42 am
by Tone Deft
dcease wrote:y'all a bunch of pussies, chasin after pussy. pussy chases me, i've almost been raped by women. i've had female strippers give me coke, meth whores give me meth, bitches trying to get me drunk... i've had far more thrown at me than i ever chased.
but i did initiate contact with wifey. i walked up to the bar, she gave me "that" look, and i said, "hey! i have a tattoo on my head too!" she said show me, then bought me a shot of patron. the rest is history...
4reel.
and for thefool, i lost my virginity to an asian chick. who took ME to homecoming. and always bought ME shit. fuck, i'd better shut up now...
a true player can lay down some advice and doesn't flex nuts because a real player knows he's got 'em.
not that I know shit, I just listen to the Geto Boys.
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 12:44 am
by beats me
dcease wrote:y'all a bunch of pussies, chasin after pussy. pussy chases me, i've almost been raped by women. i've had female strippers give me coke, meth whores give me meth, bitches trying to get me drunk... i've had far more thrown at me than i ever chased.
but i did initiate contact with wifey. i walked up to the bar, she gave me "that" look, and i said, "hey! i have a tattoo on my head too!" she said show me, then bought me a shot of patron. the rest is history...
4reel.
and for thefool, i lost my virginity to an asian chick. who took ME to homecoming. and always bought ME shit. fuck, i'd better shut up now...
So in summary your advice is "be me"?
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 1:00 am
by dcease
nah, i'm just makin fun of y'all, and subsequently myself
i have no advice, as i never had a problem... hence rant. i actually have no clue why i even said it
other than to fuck with fool...
some real advice, be yourself, be funny, be secure (but not your internet self, unless you are me. i treat y'all the same way i treat everyone!),unless you are fuggly, in which case, get some money.
women love that shit...
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 1:28 am
by fangirl
Two things. Either be...
1) endearingly goofy
or
2) a charming asshole
Don't offer to buy me a drink. That would mean I know you're interested, which means I win and you suck. Unless you're Brad Pitt and nobody is Brad Pitt except for maybe Angelina Jolie, but she has a vagina. Also, chicks who are drink whores are truly evil people. They won't fuck you and they will laugh at you and your desperation the moment you walk away. (I, of course, am no drink whore. Just thought I should mention it.)
Being endearingly goofy is easy. If you can't dance, fucking OWN that shit. I remember hooking up with a guy once because he was dancing his ass off, BADLY, in the middle of the dancefloor wearing the biggest, cheesiest smile. That kind of dorky enthusiasm is refreshing in a room filled with meatheads wearing ugly Ray-Bans and $300 jeans.
Charming assholes are tougher. I dunno what it is. It's that evil twinkle in the eye, that sly smile, the cigarette behind the ear...and the drugs. Have drugs if you want to be the charming asshole.
Okay, but in all seriousness, if you can make a girl laugh, you win.
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 1:32 am
by dcease
fangirl wrote:Two things. Either be...
1) endearingly goofy
or
2) a charming asshole
explains me perfectly
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 1:52 am
by Sleep Tyght
Tone Deft wrote:dcease wrote:y'all a bunch of pussies, chasin after pussy. pussy chases me, i've almost been raped by women. i've had female strippers give me coke, meth whores give me meth, bitches trying to get me drunk... i've had far more thrown at me than i ever chased.
but i did initiate contact with wifey. i walked up to the bar, she gave me "that" look, and i said, "hey! i have a tattoo on my head too!" she said show me, then bought me a shot of patron. the rest is history...
4reel.
and for thefool, i lost my virginity to an asian chick. who took ME to homecoming. and always bought ME shit. fuck, i'd better shut up now...
a true player can lay down some advice and doesn't flex nuts because a real player knows he's got 'em.
not that I know shit, I just listen to the Geto Boys.
"I'm Not A Gentleman" is my absolute favorite geto Boys track of all time...
Actually to be honest despite what most females say....they really don't prefer to meet gentlemen at the club....or anywhere else for that matter.
What works for me is the following...
1. Nice haircut.
2. Clean shave. Clean clothes...and hopefully your ass bathed.
3. Diddy's "Unforgivable" cologne, or Usher's cologne....or Paris Hilton For Men. Think I'm joking? I guess you haven't met women who prefer their men to smell like a fucking God.
4. Eye Contact...NEVER EVER let your eyes wander while you're speaking.
5. Confidence...but not being a Deushbag. Let it be known that you're giving HER the opportunity to be YOUR NEWEST BEST FRIEND. Smile when you mention this to her...yes you have to say it.
Comedy is king when you're an attractive prince.
And 6. Make physical contact in the first 30 seconds of speaking to her. If she refuses to shake your hand while introducing yourself...or if her handshake seems weak as all fuck....
she doesn't want anything to do with you. I always used to ask some ol bullshit like, "Is that your hair that smells so good?" If she says "I guess"...ask if she would mind if you got a little closer to catch a whiff. If she allows you to...
Like I said...if she lets you get physical...you've got a shot.
P.S. I used all of this shit to attract my fiancee. I'm passing the crown to my son.
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 2:30 am
by beats me
dcease wrote:nah, i'm just makin fun of y'all, and subsequently myself
i have no advice, as i never had a problem... hence rant. i actually have no clue why i even said it
other than to fuck with fool...
some real advice, be yourself, be funny, be secure (but not your internet self, unless you are me. i treat y'all the same way i treat everyone!),unless you are fuggly, in which case, get some money.
women love that shit...
+1 to not being ugly. If you are then I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you can walk it off.
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 2:31 am
by olio89
Tone Deft wrote:thefool wrote:Perhaps i should start making hiphop music
I think trance might be the best music to DJ and get laid. more intoxicants are involved.
yes go the trance route - tiesto is proof you can be very ugly and still get laid
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 2:32 am
by Tone Deft
beats me wrote:dcease wrote:nah, i'm just makin fun of y'all, and subsequently myself
i have no advice, as i never had a problem... hence rant. i actually have no clue why i even said it
other than to fuck with fool...
some real advice, be yourself, be funny, be secure (but not your internet self, unless you are me. i treat y'all the same way i treat everyone!),unless you are fuggly, in which case, get some money.
women love that shit...
+1 to not being ugly. If you are then I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you can walk it off.
you must go through a lot of shoes.
DOH!!
another tip that has helped me for decades, single or married:
it's not wrong to beg for sex.
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 2:36 am
by fangirl
olio89 wrote:Tone Deft wrote:thefool wrote:Perhaps i should start making hiphop music
I think trance might be the best music to DJ and get laid. more intoxicants are involved.
yes go the trance route - tiesto is proof you can be very ugly and still get laid
He's also tall. And European. And rich. Ugly who?
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 2:37 am
by dcease
Tone Deft wrote:
another tip that has helped me for decades, single or married:
it's not wrong to pay for sex.
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 2:40 am
by Tone Deft
dcease wrote:Tone Deft wrote:
another tip that has helped me for decades, single or married:
it's not wrong to pay for sex.
man, I don't like drinking out of public water fountains, I sure as hell ain't putting Mr. Happy where dozens of desperate dicks have gone, rubber or not.
/stoked to have evaded all STDs and pregnancies while I was single. <scratch scratch>
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 2:41 am
by beats me
Tone Deft wrote:beats me wrote:dcease wrote:nah, i'm just makin fun of y'all, and subsequently myself
i have no advice, as i never had a problem... hence rant. i actually have no clue why i even said it
other than to fuck with fool...
some real advice, be yourself, be funny, be secure (but not your internet self, unless you are me. i treat y'all the same way i treat everyone!),unless you are fuggly, in which case, get some money.
women love that shit...
+1 to not being ugly. If you are then I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you can walk it off.
you must go through a lot of shoes.
DOH!!
Come on man. If your wife wasn't married to you she would so go out with one of my friends. So that means I got laid by association. It's practically the same thing.
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 2:46 am
by Tone Deft
we were joking once about what would happen if I died. I explicitly told her that she sure as fuck had better have more taste than to get with any of MY friends!! she agreed.
that was before I met the Ladies Man that is Beats Me, but I wish the best for her. besides, any fool who'd hang out with me doesn't have the sense god gave the turnip.
I'm off to check for dynamite wired to my car's ignition.