Drunk Stories

[beats me]

If it's anything like pirategate, then i can't wait to hear more.

You did get dum to hump your leg twice on the same premise so I won't attempt to ruin your perfect score.

you're just jealous.

I will admit it did make me reflect on the comparably tame nature of my drunk story and the possibility that random pirates walking into people's house might be a common occurrence in other parts of the world.

[funky shit]

It was 2 days since I had left home to go to college(uni). I met a girl and we began swapping stories about being intoxicated on various substances. I told her about how I had heard you can trip on Dramamine (motion sickness medicine). We went to a pharmacy and each picked up a box. We proceeded to take the contents of the box and went on top of a hill to hang out. Some time later she began having a conversation with some of her friends. The problem was there was no one around except for me. She even started to introduce me to them at some point. I thought to myself, "I'm not that messed up, I should get some more!" Not a good idea...
Anyway the last I remember of that night was buying that second box and consuming it.
The next day I am walking around it is not too bright out but definitely daytime. I have no shirt on and my shorts are covered in mud. I see a police officer driving slowly next to me. He stops and starts to ask me questions. "What time is it?" he asks. "Uhh, like 2 in the afternoon.", I say. Wrong it is is 5 in the morning he tells me. He asks for my ID. I don't seem to have my wallet so I look on the ground. I see what looks like my wallet and I hand it to him. Wrong again! It is a piece of tree bark. Needless to say I get arrested and put in the back of his car. As we are driving to the police station he proceeds to tell me that there were reports of a kid with purple hair (i had just dyed it) walking around eating dirt and telling people he was god...
Fortunately he couldn't hold me in lockup and took me to a hospital where I had some of the best breakfast I had ever had.
The hardest part of the story is not knowing what I was doing the 6 hours or so that I was wandering around.
PS. Don't do Dramamine for fun. It is not.

LOL

i worked for a month in berlin last summer with a buddy. on the last weekend we decided to make a last stop at the watergate in kreuzberg. so my buddy was in a rather horny state of mind and flirted with a (ugly) aussie chick. her friends were some nasty fuckers. so my buddy wanted to show some alpha wolf behaviour to impress the ugly aussie chick to get laid and asked her friends for drugs. they gave him some white powder. i thought it was speed or coke so we took a big nose. bad idea. it was ketamine.
i tried to sneeze the stuff out but it was too late. i had the weirdest trip ever. the spree froze but the sun was moving fucking fast. after several hours i thought im going to die. but i didnt. so i tried to escape from that fucking nightclub to call someone to pick me up and care for me. i hardly got out of the club. the sun was so bright i could see like nothing outside. so i stumpled through kreuzberg and a punk girl asked me if i was high on ghb, i told her im not but she brought me home safely.
i phoned my buddy the next day. he said that he kind of mutated into an transformer and hung on the guys asses, asking them to not leave him alone. they brought him out of the club laied him down on the lawn right across the street and ran away. after an hour he managed to call his brother, his brother called an ambulance and took him to the hospital.

long story short, dont do drugs with strangers in a berlin night club,

303

speaking of ketamine..
last july at a festival, we arrived on the thursday, music started on the friday night, and for various reasons, i had 30 euro left for food etc. this was not good.. considering i had 120euro 24 hours earlier.
anyway.. the outlook was this.. i had a considerable amount of beer left which would do me no problem, but drugs were a no go and food was going to suck
anyway we are walking along past the foodstalls in the campsite when my foot kicks a see through bag.
i lifted it up.. immediatly realised what it was, looked around me and put it in my pocket.

contained about 40+ pills and around 20 bags of ketamine.
i never took ketamine before so i snorted a whole bag before going to see the crookers.
well.. K holed while watching swedish house mafia, thought i was the only person at the festival, thought i was at glastonbury (i wasnt), thought that the aliens were watching SHM with me and the grass was growing all around me. funny that there was no grass in the dance arena either..
was a fun night, will provide before and after pics.

remember i was broke? well.. by the end of that night i had 90 euro.

win

[noisetonepause]

I've got some decent drunk stories, but this one's my favourite.

I woke up on my bathroom floor with red wine all over my shirt. No idea how I got home, but I found a bunch of credit card receipts (incidentally adding up to just a shade under what had been left in my account - on the fifth of the month) in my jacket so I can trace it at least some of the way. I was shaking like a leaf and knew that the only thing that'd make that stop was a shot or two, if I could keep them down. First time home in five odd days, less than twenty-four hours till my last exam before I /finally/ got my degree. Of course, I hadn't revised for it at all because I'd been busy getting pissed.

10 months ago, haven't had a drink since.

[ethios4]

December 1996 - Just moved out of the parent's house, living in my own house now with two roommates - a guy that just got out of the Marines, and one of the university's star basketball players (until he got kicked out). We are going to head up some shitty concert in the city 30 minutes away. So we get drunk (them more so than I) and they also take some pills...probably xanax or something. Before we even leave the Marine is so drunk that the only way I can get him up and out the door is by shouting in his face "Stand up Marine! Get on your feet Marine!!"....that got him up quick!

So we are driving into the city, I'm sitting in the back, drunk friends in front. At one point we end up curb-checking at 50 mph, which blew a tire and bent the axle. So we pull over to the side of the highway. My friends in the front promptly pass out, so it's up to me to change the tire. We didn't know the axle was broke at this point. So I'm out there in the freezing cold trying to change a tire, which is hard because I'm so drunk I can hardly see straight. And lo and behold a cop pulls up...gets out and sees my passed out friends. He asks if I've been drinking and I say "No". So he holds the flashlight for me while I change the tire, desperately trying to not clue him in to how drunk I am.

I get the tire changed and the cop asks me if they are drunk. I tell him they are, and he says "well, get them in the back and you can drive off." He never stops to ask why I wasn't the one driving if I'm sober and they're not! Hehehe. So I had to slap my friend repeatedly in the face to get him to wake up enough to get out of the drivers seat, and he's all stumbling in the road with cars coming fast, and the cop is watching it all. Finally get them both in the back and drive off.

Well, it's rather hard to get very far in a car with a broken axle, so we rather quickly pull into an apartment and the guy who was driving before demands to drive again since its his car. I let him and we drive to a nearby convenience store. As we're pulling in we notice three cop cars sitting there, but it is too late to not look suspicious. So we all agree to just sit there for a minute and then drive off. Of course, my drunken marine friend goes inside anyway and is dragged out by three cops less than 30 seconds later. They are going to take us all to the drunk tank.

My basketball friend starts screaming profanities at the cops and telling them his lawyer dad is going to destroy them all. So one of the cops goes to the trunk of his vehicle and pulls out a small baggie of white powder, which he proceeds to put in our car and begins to call it in on his police radio - narcotics. So I begin kissing ass immediately, confess we are all drunk, and beg him to take us to the drunk tank. After some convincing he agrees.

The drive to the drunk tank was fun. My Marine friend is still drunkenly trying to convince the cop he is not drunk by attempting to recite the alphabet backwards....Z,Y,X,W...ahh fuck, I'll start over....Z,Y,X,W,V....ah fuck I'll start over.... and the cop is singing NIN "Bow down before the one you serve"...fucking pig!

We get to the drunk tank and it is abysmal. 12 hours of this shit. After a few hours of listening to homeless drunks fart and moan we convince the warden to let us order a pizza. When it arrives he eats it all except for a few pieces and gives us the leftovers. At one point we had the bright idea to offer to clean up the place if he would let us out early. So we cleaned up all the shit, piss, and vomit from the toilets, and he let us out 10 minutes early. The homeless drunks commented that in all their years they had never seen someone puke as much or as horridly as my marine friend did. Nice.

As we are leaving the drunk tank we spy our friend's mom and her state representative boss walking into the center. Fortunately they did not see us in such a compromised state! What an adventure!

[ChiDJ]

Ethios4 FTW!

[funky shit]

nice!!! see isnt this fun.

im waiting on a really wierd one from rave, or an edgy story regarding furry handcuffs from neb.

[3dot...]

ehm...about 8 years ago...
totally hammered in Jerusalem..
I decided to take a piss in what I thought to be the street drainage..
then I hear screaming...
as it turns out.. it was a window for a basement restaurant...
and the diners were having warm piss spilling all over their table...

we ran like the wind when I understood that..

good times..

[3dot...]

The drive to the drunk tank was fun. My Marine friend is still drunkenly trying to convince the cop he is not drunk by attempting to recite the alphabet backwards....Z,Y,X,W...ahh fuck, I'll start over....Z,Y,X,W,V....ah fuck I'll start over.... and the cop is singing NIN "Bow down before the one you serve"...fucking pig!

[3dot...]

long story short, dont do drugs with strangers in a berlin night club,

303

long story short...ask what it is before you take it in..

[3dot...]

about 3 years ago.. on my BirthDay.. there was a coldcut show sow we went..
a friend gave me a large glass of 'Gin&Tonic'...
only in letting me know half way through the show it's laced with lsd..
the show is over and it hasn't kicked in yet for me... so we go outside to the beach..
and then all hell broke loose.. I don't know how much he put in there but it was a fucking lot..
all of a sudden we see this guy running.. and LOADS of cops are chasing him.. then they bring him down 2 meters from us..
then... many cop cars arrive at the scene... and we go far away..
after that the city turns into a jungle..
we manage to get to the car in the lot.. and figure we need to go find one of our buddies that we lost mid-show..
I'm driving...
I bet we drove all night at about 10 km/h... like we were in a safari...
and we were actually searching for the guy on the streets....like gangsters..
we finished the night at the beach ...
at 6:30 am we were at the guys apartment door ..waking him and his wife up..
at 8:30 after we've had coffee... his wifes' water broke...she was going into labor ..
and so we went to the hospital..
at 12:00 we got to see a newborn baby..

[ethios4]

^^^

Hahahaha, classic! Isn't it amazing how the craziest shit happens when on acid?

My very first trip....we were driving along and notice the neighborhood tire store is engulfed in flames....real flames....at Firestone....whoa! Driving home that night out in a rural area I come up on a Cadillac stopped in the middle of this country highway, just sitting there. After a minute of waiting (wondering if it's real) I get out to see what's up. There is a bloody cow in the road and this old couple standing around it. I carefully walk up, crouch down to the cow, touching it to make sure its real. I ask the old couple "Is this real?" and they say "Yea son, it's real. She's dead!" Ohhh K. wtf? They think I'm just traumatized by what has happened, but I'm questioning every aspect of my reality, my sanity, do these people even exist? Walk slowly back to car, get in, drive around the dead cow and smashed Cadillac, drive home. Very weird.

[funky shit]

stood on the reilings of a river once at 5am "becoming one with the birds" shouting "cawww cawwww"

some people seen it.

[derzai]

Happened a couple of years ago. My mother, at the age of 70, was drunk and my father got angry so he locked her up. Then she tried to escape by climbing out of the window and she fell down about 3 meters. My father called the ambulance and also an emergency helicopter arrived to pick her up and bring her to the nearby hospital. She survived.

But what happened at the same time was that an old man, that also lived in that area, was looking at the helicopter while crossing the street with his bike. He didnt see the car, probably the car didnt see him either, cause the car crashed against the man with the bike, and the man got killed.

This really happened.

[ethios4]

Wow, that's intense! Everything is all connected. That sounds like a bit of movie plot or something...like Magnolia where all the stories intersect.

I have a friend who tells a story of being a kid and he pointed at this girl's bicycle tire and it popped right when he pointed at it! Total coincidence but it had him freaked out for a good long time!

[smartass303]

long story short, dont do drugs with strangers in a berlin night club,

303

long story short...ask what it is before you take it in..

youre probably right.
newborn baby story is ace!

303