Ableton Forum

great thread!!!
my worst isn't too bad...
was playing at the big chill festival in the uk a couple years ago and
miscalculated our power needs(uk to us converter)
and took a good 10 minutes extra to get things sorted.
luckily, no trainwreck, just a late start- but pretty shameful (personally) since i make my living in touring production....

DJing with a friend, this one chick keeps bumping the table, we keep telling her to fuck off. then she bumps it, knocks the needle completely off the record and my friend shouts 'fucking cunt' while the mic was still on. there was a brief pause then the whole place started laughing. she didn't bump the table after that.

more embarrassing but not as funny was playing a tune on guitar for a small talent show that I didn't really learn yet, totally flubbed it.

I was DJing at club when I was underage. My friend who promoted the night got me in by having me carry equipment in and that way they didn't check my ID. Anyways, once I was in I was lowkey until my turn on the decks. I was spinning well and having a good time and getting free beer which I thought was amazing then. The owner of the club came up to me halfway through the set and asked for my ID. I said I didn't have it on then, so he said I had to leave. I told him I'd leave after my set, but he said I had to leave "now". So, basically, I had to stop the music and pack up and leave in front of the crowd. Kinda embarassing, but was funny overall.

Also, when a lot younger in school, I got "aroused" on stage with tight pants on in front of my entire school... and to top it off, someone took a picture and it ended up in the yearbook. needless to say, at parties in high school, that yearbook came out and got passed around quite often... haha

Allison Redhead wrote:I just walk between them with an "excuse me," and stick the key in the door. The one girl grabs my arm before I can open it. "Hey, if you are going in there..." she then proceeds to lean on me, kick off her heels one after another, strip her panties off from under her now hiked up miniskirt, step out of them, and hold them out for me with one hand, "...can you give these to the DJ?"

I'm not a DJ,,
But i am a guy that does his own laundry,, and so i'm curious,,
Does this sort of thing happen a lot??
If it does,, can you put in requests over the mic??
I have a real issue with socks in the washing machine,, , as i'm sure many of us do,, six go in,, five come out,, it would be nice if the pretty girls showed their appreciation by helping balance this equation,,,

I've tried the whole playing live thing,, but it was hampered by my absolute stage fright,, the worst case found me standing in front of my amp with my guitar in my hands and my mind being totally detached from my body as though i was watching from above,, i had no idea,, it was as though i had never even held a guitar,,

However,,
Put me in a kitchen and im a fuckin demon!!
It used to be that i was one of those horrible nasty chefs that ruled using the influence of terror,, i was often amped up on Coffee and "Coffee",, this was the eighties
I also have the habit of using my chefs apron as a pan cloth to take pans off of an open flame,,
So,, I'm in the middle of doing a very busy service and i'm yelling at my crew,, all of whom think i'm an ass hole,, and i'm calling them all worse that motherf**kers,, when i start to smell burning,, so i'm making threats about if any of these idiots has burnt any of my beautiful food i'll make them eat it then fire them,, and this is going on for a little while and the burning is getting worse and the "Coffee" is working over time and then i notice this odd sensation on my upper thigh,,
So i look down and there is an almost two foot flame licking it's way up my apron and has just started to burn through my pants,, None of my crew want to tell me,, not because they want to watch me burn,, but more because they know that the first one to point this out would probably be the one that gets the blame,,
I learnt a lesson that night and had the scar to keep reminding me that i should lay off of the "Coffee" and play nice with others for a couple of years after,,

Love..that..fresh...breath

I was Djing at 333 in London when someone offered me some coke. I snorted it mid-song. It turns out it was actually Ketamine. I passed out and the music when the song ended. Then i spent 4 hours in the club "office". Threw up loads and thought I was dead.

This is a funny thread!

This one night i was djing i took the needle off the wrong record (the one that was playing).
No big deal, except i did it 7 or 8 times that night!

Homebelly wrote:

Allison Redhead wrote:I just walk between them with an "excuse me," and stick the key in the door. The one girl grabs my arm before I can open it. "Hey, if you are going in there..." she then proceeds to lean on me, kick off her heels one after another, strip her panties off from under her now hiked up miniskirt, step out of them, and hold them out for me with one hand, "...can you give these to the DJ?"

I'm not a DJ,,
But i am a guy that does his own laundry,, and so i'm curious,,
Does this sort of thing happen a lot??
If it does,, can you put in requests over the mic??
I have a real issue with socks in the washing machine,, , as i'm sure many of us do,, six go in,, five come out,, it would be nice if the pretty girls showed their appreciation by helping balance this equation,,,

I've tried the whole playing live thing,, but it was hampered by my absolute stage fright,, the worst case found me standing in front of my amp with my guitar in my hands and my mind being totally detached from my body as though i was watching from above,, i had no idea,, it was as though i had never even held a guitar,,

However,,
Put me in a kitchen and im a fuckin demon!!
It used to be that i was one of those horrible nasty chefs that ruled using the influence of terror,, i was often amped up on Coffee and "Coffee",, this was the eighties
I also have the habit of using my chefs apron as a pan cloth to take pans off of an open flame,,
So,, I'm in the middle of doing a very busy service and i'm yelling at my crew,, all of whom think i'm an ass hole,, and i'm calling them all worse that motherf**kers,, when i start to smell burning,, so i'm making threats about if any of these idiots has burnt any of my beautiful food i'll make them eat it then fire them,, and this is going on for a little while and the burning is getting worse and the "Coffee" is working over time and then i notice this odd sensation on my upper thigh,,
So i look down and there is an almost two foot flame licking it's way up my apron and has just started to burn through my pants,, None of my crew want to tell me,, not because they want to watch me burn,, but more because they know that the first one to point this out would probably be the one that gets the blame,,
I learnt a lesson that night and had the scar to keep reminding me that i should lay off of the "Coffee" and play nice with others for a couple of years after,,

Chef Ramsey? I didn't know you played guitar.....or used Live

i was doing a big gig with a laptop and somebody switched of the power so suddenly there was a big silence and everbody was watching me. embarrasing moment.

Also i was asked to play 4 or 5 songs as a guest gitarist in a rockband in a populair club. I jumped on stage to do my songs but the band started with totally different song i had studied. Also i had no monitors so i really didn,t know what the rest of the band was doing so i had to do some karaoke gitar. All my friends were watching so for them it was very funny.

I'd cut my teeth with a few nights playing in my local pub spinning hardcore rave tracks around 92' the night started to pick up and with most of the crowd being DJ's as well i thought it'd be a good idea to have a guest mixing with me each week.....

Thigs moved on a pace and the idea to have a dj competition was born, i believing in my own greatness as resident entered (yeah i know resident in a pub is rather grand title but i was only 17).... Got myself through to the final up against a freind of mine who was in all honesty better than me and could scratch as well as mix.....

Only one thing for it, Up my game.....

So Carl Cox inspired with one Technics balanced precariously i kicked off my first ever public 3 deck set.... I'd practised plenty so knew it wouldn't be a disaster....

Two songs in the third deck slips slighty but i don't notice the earth wire pull itself from the mixer.....

Bring in the tune in question to a horrible wail looking up to see the other Dj with a smug grin on his face.... Realise what i've done but with time running out on the record going out i make a grab for the third deck to fix the problem....

And succeed in launching the turntable onto the dancefloor flattening a bloke gurning his head off in front of the decks.....

I didn't finish the set.

Cheers
D

I'm the same as djgroovy, I took the needle off of the record that was playing (pissed a newt). That was in front of close to a thousand people, loads of cheering and a few flying objects later I put the fooker back on the record, later on I seemed to pick up the biggest bit of fluff on the needle, I then proceeded to try and blow it gently from underneath (thinking that I could), I was that pissed I blew as hard as I could and the needle shot straight to the end of the track!! That was a few years ago now, thank the heavens!

Good times!

It was many years ago when I was playing live with my band.
I was playing bass guitar at that time.
It came a moment when (after some drinks) I decided to try dating the table maid during a long guitar's solo. I went down to the floor from the stage and followed the girl while she was serving a table nearby, when I realized that the solo was about to end and I had to come on stage to sing the chorus.
Then it'll happened. While walking backwards I jumped on stage but I didn't notice a big floor monitor and a second later I was laying on stage back to the ground, face up, still playing and with a big pain in my butt, neck and spine. I survived it but since then when I occasionally play with the band on a stage everybody remembers that day. BTW the maid wasn't very interested after that.... I really felt like the biggest idiot ever....

- Best
- Pasha

Stace wrote:I'm the same as djgroovy, I took the needle off of the record that was playing (pissed a newt). That was in front of close to a thousand people, loads of cheering and a few flying objects later I put the fooker back on the record, later on I seemed to pick up the biggest bit of fluff on the needle, I then proceeded to try and blow it gently from underneath (thinking that I could), I was that pissed I blew as hard as I could and the needle shot straight to the end of the track!! That was a few years ago now, thank the heavens!

Good times!

DJ performances are about the only artform that I know of where people cheer and go nuts when you fuck up. Just under that on the list of undeserving applause is people who go crazy over the drum tech doing sound check before a concert.

Great stories; isn't it a pity, but if you had video of either of those events, you could put them up on youtube and get rich and famous.

Instead all that are left are humiliating memories...