Ableton Forum

EDIT: Renamed the title for clarity's sake

so...

I'm about to get to the 3-year mark of living in NYC and I must say, it's given me an amazing run. Fun times have been plentiful. I've made great friends. Etc. I've actually developed a deep, deep appreciation for the city and its people.

However, over the past few weeks, during my vacation, based on a lot of thinking time I've had and on input from friends and family, I have realized that NYC has also turned me into one JADED motherf****.

So, below all the fun and games, some of the pressures of living there (even if for a relatively short amount of time) are getting to me. Maybe it's a combination of things. Lack of career security, populational density, expensive cost of life, cramped up quarters, horrible winter weather, etc. I'm beginning to understand why NY has been continuously rated as having some of the most stressed-out / depressed people among the states.

So, I don't know. Maybe we all go through this same dilemma one time or another. Do I want to continue living here? Do I man up and keep on rolling til I find my groove, or do I try a change of scenery? See what we like best, then decide.

As I said, over the past 3 years, I've really come to love NYC, so it's not a matter of "I hate this place, let's just jump ship". It's more of a "I have had a lot of fun here, but maybe I'll find a place I'll enjoy better"... sort of.


So, the real question to follow the unnecessarily long rant: How are things in other places? How are you forumites in a variety of major and non-major cities feeling about where you live? Did you hop around for a while til you found your ideal niche? Did you plant your roots immediately?

Get your rant on, friends.

Come over here. We don't have any of those problems.

asking people 'where should I live?' is probably what got you into this situation in the first place.

I vote for option 4: man up and off yourself.

Better brush up on that reading comprehension... and look up the term "rhetorical"

Bro, I feel you. It's just the shitty dark days of winter that got you down. That and the fact that you guys put your garbage out on the front side walk. That's just nasty.

NY is one of those places I just could never understand. Wife's sister lives there, and when we visited it didn't take me long to realize it was a place I could never be happy. Too busy and uptight, and people were rude/self-focused almost by default (with exceptions obviously). I think with that many people in such close quarters, you almost have to be rude just to get through your day though.

Chicago was kind of like that too, but with a layer of humor on the top. Maybe it was just me...

Personally I really like Seattle, and in general the whole west coast vibe. People are more laid back, and seem to be more passionate about their hobbies and less focus on careers to some extent. The outdoors culture here is very pervassive, as is the 'green' movement (almost to the point of being annoying compared to what it was like in the midwest). Weather is great too, 70's and sunny in the summer (85 is a freak heat wave here) and 40's in the winter. 3 inches of snow shuts the city down, which is again funny coming from the midwest.

Took me awhile to relax and get into the vibe here coming from Chicago, but now that I have I can't imagine going back.

Edit:

Oh, I don't like all west coast towns now that I think of it. LA struck me as full of desperate people, and the traffic alone would ruin my day.

San Fran never did it for me either. A weird mix of super rich people, bums and hippies, all of whom seemed hell bent on ignoring each other at all costs. Weird vibe there, I couldn't get my bearings at all. Every time I thought I met a genuinely nice person, they'd end up asking me for money or drugs.

Yeah the garbage on the street is just wrong..

Maybe get a sunlamp? There's not much light in Seattle during the winter and I use a sunlamp directly above my spot in the studio. It helps immensely with my mood. If I stop using it during the winter I become really jaded. Try one out.

I'm in Queens, let's party sometime. I went through the whole freakout and move thing 2 years ago - after 3 years in the city I quit my job and moved back to my hometown just knowing things would be better. It lasted 9 months before I begged for my job back and moved back to NYC. Haven't looked back since...but the normal pressures of the city certainly do suck ass.

being from "jersey" (we may not be as cultured as our northern cousins, but we always seem to get your women..... )
I can empathize with your psychology. Between trying to gig and hang out in philly, NYC and AC ( ), I concluded that while I admire and appreciate the intensity, ambition and hungriness.... at the end of the day, I wanted to live in a calmer, more caring, less judgmental, not as psychically taxing, geographical area, and choose to relocate to northern CA.

Tarekith wrote:NY is one of those places I just could never understand. Wife's sister lives there, and when we visited it didn't take me long to realize it was a place I could never be happy. Too busy and uptight, and people were rude/self-focused almost by default (with exceptions obviously). I think with that many people in such close quarters, you almost have to be rude just to get through your day though.

Chicago was kind of like that too, but with a layer of humor on the top. Maybe it was just me...

Personally I really like Seattle, and in general the whole west coast vibe. People are more laid back, and seem to be more passionate about their hobbies and less focus on careers to some extent. The outdoors culture here is very pervassive, as is the 'green' movement (almost to the point of being annoying compared to what it was like in the midwest). Weather is great too, 70's and sunny in the summer (85 is a freak heat wave here) and 40's in the winter. 3 inches of snow shuts the city down, which is again funny coming from the midwest.

Took me awhile to relax and get into the vibe here coming from Chicago, but now that I have I can't imagine going back.

Edit:

Oh, I don't like all west coast towns now that I think of it. LA struck me as full of desperate people, and the traffic alone would ruin my day.

San Fran never did it for me either. A weird mix of super rich people, bums and hippies, all of whom seemed hell bent on ignoring each other at all costs. Weird vibe there, I couldn't get my bearings at all. Every time I thought I met a genuinely nice person, they'd end up asking me for money or drugs.

My sentiments exactly: you nailed it.

I plan on moving West within the next five years.

I've heard it said that everyone should live in the city but leave before they get jaded.

I thought you had a sweet dual life going between NYC and PR? maybe I misread. seemed like a great juxtaposition.

I'd move around and see where you land. I rally love where I live and wouldn't move but I envy people that can just pick up and go wherever. I don't get the impression you're tied down by a female either, make use of the time, go travel.

agreed on the harshness of the city. when you first move here people hit you up for change. after a while you get that look on your face and people leave you alone. yes, you meet someone and they're real friendly, because they want money or drugs, it's an old scam you get used to. it's the city, people are scraping to get by. there's an edge to people but we're used to it.

either coast FTW, I'm not real impressed by the stuff in the middle but people happily live there too. YMMV.

@ Tone, yeah... I fluctuate between liking the current state of things and being jaded by it. Coming down to PR definitely balances out the harshness of living in NYC.

maybe it's just a current slump I'm hitting. Starting to feel the pressure of an unstable career path in an unforgiving place. I think that's the hugest factor. If and when things level themselves out, maybe I'll be singing a different tune. Then again, that's probably my problem... I "wait" for things to even themselves out.

I do appreciate that hunger which drives NYC people, as aisling mentioned. It's very special. And I have drive and ambition as well but I was never that intense. I was never in a hurry. Rarely stressed.

And NYC is like that. It's a machine, it waits for no one, everyone and everything is in a rush. Rude. Unforgiving. Stressful. Maybe that's why I'm feeling a little jaded. If i had been an intense person in the first place, maybe I wouldn't feel it as much.

Which is why the West coast sounds slightly appealing to me. It seems to give off a more relaxed vibe. People have ambition but they don't seem to be at each other's throats. Slightly cleaner (or less dirty), and milder weather. It all probably contributes to the more lax attitudes. (thanks for the insight on the West coast situation, Tarekith, aisling, and TD).

As I said, it's not all harsh times. Plenty of amazing times to be had. Something special about NYC, especially once Spring and Summer come along... but year round in general. So there's always a chance I might end up missing it if I move away.

This is not something I'll just get up and do on a whim. I need to weight all pros/cons and then eventually make my move... or start growing them roots.

digitalgeist wrote:I'm in Queens, let's party sometime.

We should. Our fellow forumite contakt321 has a monthly event at The Cove, in Williamsburg, the first Thursday of every month. Always a good time

Move to Wigan.

It's shit.
There is no music scene other than Donk.
But the people are friendly (when they are not trying to twat you).

Note: I don't live there for the first reason stated. I am in London and about to move to Thailand for a few months!

Do that, it's ridiculously cheap!

if you've got no kids or wife.. the world is yours!! enjoy it while you can!!

I live in LA. The traffic here will fuck up your day for sure, but we make up for it with a wicked party scene. For the laid back vibe, check out the south bay cities (torrance, hermosa beach, etc). The great thing about LA is the diversity. Its soo insanely huge, but it takes effort to find your bearings and get to know it. Unlike new york, you can't walk around and find anything. It takes research and a drive. Also, forget about finding decent pizza anywhere on the west coast. it doesnt exist. But we have better mexican than you do (and cheeseburgers). Also, our massive asian community gives you quite a variety of ethnic foods to explore.

I love NY, but I dont know if I could live there for more than a few years either. I'd love to give it a shot though, I actually like the people rude and self interested. Do gooders piss me off and make me suspicious. If I were you I'd look into the east bay (berkeley, emeryville, etc), portland, or seattle. It seems to be the balance you seek, but the weather is kinda shitty. Overall though, after extensive travel I keep coming back to the conclusion that the west coast is the way to go

Or you can stay in NY too, as it is pretty awesome. Its the only place I would want to live that isnt on the west coast