Ableton Forum

I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Can't someone read the manual to me?

hasnt John Hurt done a spoken book version somewhere?

I do actually long for the day when I can read and digest info like Johnny 5 in Short Circuit.

Deft wrote:I do actually long for the day when I can read and digest info like Johnny 5 in Short Circuit.

Boy, wasn't that an outdated reference. Wouldn't it be faster and easier to jack in and download the manual directly into your brain like in the Matrix? (along with the flight operations of an Apache Helicopter and Kung Fu!)

Nah, keep it retro. Plus I want to shout 'INPUTTTTT STEPHANIE' whilst I read the manual.

plus if you ingest it you get the added buzz of waiting to come up on it

As a "consumer", I have the absolute right to:

1) Download anything free from the internet.
2) Have other people read the manual, experiment with the product and develop new techniques for me, and I owe nothing in return.
2) Have everything made perfectly obvious to me, even if I won't (or can't) read the manual, and refuse to put even an hour into any experimentation on my own.
3) To have my posts answered in minutes, even if they don't make logical or contextual sense.
4) NEVER have anyone call to my attention that most of what I've asked could be learned with a moments thought or common sense on my part.
5) Complain bitterly when some special feature or capability isn't built in to the program I just downloaded ... regardless of the fact that I haven't paid for, and whether or not the demand is even possible or makes sense.
6) NEVER have anyone explain to me why what I want isn't possible or doesn't make sense. I want it, and that's all the effort I should have to put out to get it!

... and so it goes.

and don't forget, you have the right to do all of that at your local coffeehouse where you paid $1.29 for a cup of coffee and have been sitting there for 6 hours leeching off their free wireless internet service!!!

d2 wrote:As a "consumer", I have the absolute right to:

1) Download anything free from the internet.
2) Have other people read the manual, experiment with the product and develop new techniques for me, and I owe nothing in return.
2) Have everything made perfectly obvious to me, even if I won't (or can't) read the manual, and refuse to put even an hour into any experimentation on my own.
3) To have my posts answered in minutes, even if they don't make logical or contextual sense.
4) NEVER have anyone call to my attention that most of what I've asked could be learned with a moments thought or common sense on my part.
5) Complain bitterly when some special feature or capability isn't built in to the program I just downloaded ... regardless of the fact that I haven't paid for, and whether or not the demand is even possible or makes sense.
6) NEVER have anyone explain to me why what I want isn't possible or doesn't make sense. I want it, and that's all the effort I should have to put out to get it!

... and so it goes.

You also have the right to use the # 2 twice if you'd like. To Heck with chronology!

That's right! Screw them and their corporate-sponsored chronologies anyway! Numbers want to be free!

And how dare they charge me for coffee and not have a DSL line with something better than a measley 768k download! How am I supposed to get my warez like that?

Dont they understand? ... I want it, isn't that enough?

Deft wrote:Nah, keep it retro. Plus I want to shout 'INPUTTTTT STEPHANIE' whilst I read the manual.

Wouldn't you rather wake up and go... "I can do timestretching..." and then have your sensi go "Show me..." and THEN break into a whole sequence of kung fu moves where you very nearly kick your sensi's ass... and he goes "c'mon... stop trying to timestretch and timestretch!!"

???

I like it here - you guys are cool...

That last post was the funniest fuckin' thing I've ever read! [/color]

I like it here - you guys are cool...

That last comment was the funniest fuckin' thing I've ever read!!!

People are always laughing at me