Ableton Forum

Poops, I've taken a very disturbing shit.

Are you available for a consult and, if so, at what price?

Thank you.

My booty hole turned inside out after taking a poop today.

LoopStationZebra wrote:Poops, I've taken a very disturbing shit.

Are you available for a consult and, if so, at what price?

Thank you.

Well, I'm rather booked...but I could prolly squeeze you in for a quick online checkup. I'm inclined to think you've most likely experienced a bursted fecal impaction...it's fairly rampant of late. The first thing I'll need is a complete dietary analysis...roughage intake, fast food consumption, alcohol, any weird hot saucey stuff, etc. Also please enumerate any drugs or other substances ingested. I'll need to know details about the texture, bouyancy, smell and color of your effluent. Lastly, I'll need to know if you've had any recent anal intrusions, say in the past few days or so. Go ahead and post that here for convenience sakes, and then we'll talk about fees and a web-consult.

Bleep Blop Ima Robot wrote:My booty hole turned inside out after taking a poop today.

Sounds like Thai food to me. Eat some saltine crackers and Raman noodles for a day or two. It'll revert eventually.

Wait....did you happen to watch that movie "Men Who Stare At Goatse"?

You are a GodSend and a true new asset to the Lounge. I completely misjudged you.

Gathering up the pertinent info now and will report back.

Bless you.

Bleep Blop Ima Robot wrote:My booty hole turned inside out after taking a poop today.

I am a nursing student, and one of my former patients had that happen on my watch. It is the 'wrongest' thing you would ever truly want to see....