Ableton Forum

Any suggestions? Samples? Reaktor patches? AL loops?

Wobbling up a tuba is about as easy as it gets, man! Get to work!

sporkles wrote:Wobbling up a tuba is about as easy as it gets, man! Get to work!

I can't get it to work, man. I attached my girlfriend's vibrator to the horn piece but it sounded thin. Next, I tried a cake batter mixer-beater thing but the duct-tape wouldn't hold. Fuck, I need help man.

What's you need to do is get one of those poi dancers to swing some wired mics around the room. I'd keep a fire extinguisher on hand because they'll most likely try to light the mics on fire. For stutter edits wing a dodge ball at them from various angles.

beats me wrote:What's you need to do is get one of those poi dancers to swing some wired mics around the room. I'd keep a fire extinguisher on hand because they'll most likely try to light the mics on fire. For stutter edits wing a dodge ball at them from various angles.

Hmmm...I'll give it a shot. I had my buddy Cecil hit the bell of that bitch with a ballpeen hammer while I recorded it with my Shure, but it still sounded like ass. Next we tied the tuba to a clothesline and threw rocks at it, but the Shure was picking up too much wind until finally Cecil crushed the mic with a direct hit. Fuck! Maybe I need to get one of those big Contrabass mofo's...yeah that just might do it.

depending on your competence with vocoding......

take a standard tuba sound

You will need a really large cucumber, or other device, organ, that can simulate the gag reflex.
You will need access to a willing participant male/female (personally the female vocal tonality while illustrating a gag reflex has some "analog" like warmth to it, but young guy, or what ever you like will do, it is really a matter of personal taste)

Your are going to vocode the gaging signal as you are inserting the device orally into the tuba track....

Works like a charm every time.

Post a sample when done.

If you have an obese tabby with downs syndrome and 2 tasers, you can use a taser on each side of it's stomach and you'll get a pretty good tuba-step. I don't think it has to be a tabby, but it has to be fat and have downs syndrome, otherwise it won't have "that voice". You may have to transpose the sample down some. I suppose you could do the same thing with a person but that would be cruel.

beats me wrote:What's you need to do is get one of those poi dancers to swing some wired mics around the room. I'd keep a fire extinguisher on hand because they'll most likely try to light the mics on fire. For stutter edits wing a dodge ball at them from various angles.

This could be the best post I have ever read.

You win one internets!

just add a rotating leslie cab to the pole dancer concept and i think you're set

You guys are making things way too complicated.

All you need are a few of these,


And a piezo transducer



Just stick the contact mic to your gut after a few of those convenience store burritos and press record.
I'm sure you'll get plenty of wobble from the gastrointestinal revolt that feels like a dozen live snakes in your abdomen.