Ableton Forum

mot even going to say where i heard this....

Q. How do you drown a blonde?
A. Put a scratch 'n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

Why do blondes wear underwear?

To keep their ankles warm

Why are blondes unable to waterski?

Whenever they get wet blondes throw themselves on their back

yeah all of those suck.

not a blonde joke but.......



What did the blind man say whilst walking past the local fish shop?

Good afternoon ladies

Two Blonde's have gone on a bush hike and weekend camping trip.
They find a nice camp site.
Set-up.
Light a fire before nightfall.
Sit down by the firelight and start talking.
One turns to the other and says, "wow it's a beautiful moonlit night".
The other thinks for a minute and says, "hey lets go for a walk".
So the two Leggy Blonde's rug up grab a torch and head off into the midnight bush.
After 45 minutes walking one of them gets anxious and thinks that they might be lost .
At which time the other blonde shines the torch on the ground and yell's out.
"Quick come here and look at this"
The other Blonde rushes over and say's ,"Wow what is it".
The Blonde holding the torch points it to the ground and says "Hey I think they're kangaroo tracks"
Too which the other replies "No there NOT ! They're rabbit tracks"
So in the moonlight holding a torch they squabbled
"Kangaroo tracks"
"Are not they are soooo Rabbit tracks"
"No way kangaroo tracks"
"No way rabbit tracks"
"Roo tracks"
"Rabbit Tracks"
"Roo Tracks"
"Rabbit tracks'
"roo tracks !"
"rabbit tracks"
"roo tracks'
"rabbit tracks".............


Whilst they where arguing they got hit by a Train !

Q. What do you call a blonde in the closet?
A. The 1984 hide and go seek champion.

This blonde decides to become a "handy-man" so she is going door to door handing out business cards. She comes by a newly built home in the neighborhood and this guy asks the blonde if she can paint the newly built porch. The blonde agrees to this for a fee of $50. The guy a bit surprised at such a cheap rate agrees. He hands the blonde the brown paint and walks back inside. He tells his wife about the blonde and she asks, "Does that blonde realize the porch goes around the whole house"? Just then, the door knocks. The guy answers and the blond responds, "All done". The guy is amazed at the quick service, "You painted the whole porch"? The blonde smiles, "Yes, as a matter of fact, i applied 2 coats. And just so you know, it's a Ferrari, not a Porch".

Why do blondes often wear hoop earrings?

So they can hook their heels in.

Former Pharaoh wrote:This blonde decides to become a "handy-man" so she is going door to door handing out business cards. She comes by a newly built home in the neighborhood and this guy asks the blonde if she can paint the newly built porch. The blonde agrees to this for a fee of $50. The guy a bit surprised at such a cheap rate agrees. He hands the blonde the brown paint and walks back inside. He tells his wife about the blonde and she asks, "Does that blonde realize the porch goes around the whole house"? Just then, the door knocks. The guy answers and the blond responds, "All done". The guy is amazed at the quick service, "You painted the whole porch"? The blonde smiles, "Yes, as a matter of fact, i applied 2 coats. And just so you know, it's a Ferrari, not a Porch".