Corporate video music = rubbish!

Emissary · Post by **Emissary** » Thu Oct 16, 2008 4:34 pm

hello, i have figured out why all music to corporate videos are utterly shite. I was commisioned to write a song and they said they wanted something that sounded like song 2 or smells like teen spirit. so i widdle away making a cool poppy energy driven guitar track and give it to them. Now they get back to me and say, "hmmm its a bit harsh, can you soften it up, this is going out to mums and dads you know".................so hang on you want something that sounds like teen spirit but without any balls?......why didnt you just ask me to write a fucking keane song or something. so anybody got any ideas hot to now "soften" up this track i have done and make it more gay. all helpful ideas are welcome, and unhelpful ones too.

p.s. i'm using gay in a non offensive yoof type way so sorry if i offended anyone.

hacktheplanet · Post by **hacktheplanet** » Thu Oct 16, 2008 4:45 pm

Just take the first sections of Smells Like Teen Spirit and chop them up into their various chords. Then rearrange them and call it a day.

Emissary · Post by **Emissary** » Thu Oct 16, 2008 5:01 pm

it would probably be to harsh for them. I think they want a castrated version of teen spirit played on wind chimes and a kazoo with a little girl singing the lyrics, but not the same lyrics oh no.....less harsh lyrics about punch and judy and woolworths. the corporate cock tastes bitter.

pepezabala · Post by **pepezabala** » Thu Oct 16, 2008 5:20 pm

tell me, tell me.

For my last publicity job they asked for something like Leonard Cohen, but instrumental!!

Emissary · Post by **Emissary** » Thu Oct 16, 2008 6:02 pm

hehe, sometimes i wonder if its a joke or some kind of weird problem these people suffer from (which is why they are making corporate videos). anyway i am in the process of making a track sound shitter (which feels very odd) maybe i shouldn't have put as much effort into it in the 1st place....hmmm

FrancodeLeon88 · Post by **FrancodeLeon88** » Thu Oct 16, 2008 6:23 pm

Why not keep the work you've done, but retrack the guitar with a really really subtle distortion/crunch, and bring the drums way down in the mix...

i find that when the corporates ask for something, they have no idea what they are talking about. That's why they're corporates. That's why they're hiring us. To read their minds. And the better we can read their minds, the more often they'll book us.

Also, you may want to make sure your tempo is the same as Teen Spirit - tempo is huge in terms of recreating a feel.

G'luck - I know it can be frustrating.

DJ Franco de Leon
www.FRANCODELEON.com

Emissary · Post by **Emissary** » Thu Oct 16, 2008 6:35 pm

thanks, yeah i am bringing the drums down a bit and eq'ing them in a softer manner. but they just speak bolloxs, they said to me "make sure it has lots of tempo changes like in song 2".................yeah because the tempo for song 2 is all over the place....

anyway i took that to mean intensity changes and was right in my assumption. your right you just have to read their minds, this has opened up a whole new world to me for the poor fuckers who do this regularly, its actually harder than just writing a good song. i salute all shite corporate music and the patient artists behind it.

SimonPHC · Post by **SimonPHC** » Thu Oct 16, 2008 6:39 pm

Emissary wrote:sometimes i wonder if its a joke or some kind of weird problem these people suffer from.

The biggest problem people who need music have is talking about it in a way that makes sense to us. They need music to communicate something they have a hard time explaining with words. Mostly what I do is work with one person from the company that kind of becomes my translator. I explain him (in private) the problem and tell him how I perceive stuff like hard and soft or edgy or contemporary etc... and his job is to talk to the other guys instead of me. I just can't be bothered to try and imagine what they actually want to say, plus most of the times they don't have a clue what they want before you give them anything. You end up making stuff just to know what they need.

Although sometimes you get lucky and you end up being part of a team that is so professional, you wonder why most other people could ever be so clueless.

Emissary · Post by **Emissary** » Fri Oct 17, 2008 10:23 am

i have made it as cac as possible now. now it sounds like some kind of awful nirvana song played through a kids toy tape recorder with twinkles and happiness.

andrew_ · Post by **andrew_** » Fri Oct 17, 2008 10:34 am

Yo can we hear it!? Twinkles and happiness!

Word up on corporate not knowing what they want. Though somehow it always has to do with copying something else.

Emissary · Post by **Emissary** » Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:00 am

to be honest i am usually all for sticking my music up for all to hear, but this is just painfully shite. When they offered me the job i told them i was an electronic musician and they said "oh thats fine we just want some yoof beats and such" so after a few days they phoned me up and said "yeah we want it to sound like song 2 meets smells like teen spirit"......i was not best pleased seeing as my guitar skills are about as good as a 15 year olds. but anyway, i wrote a song (which was actually quite good) and it has too much balls apprently....just sent them a new mum and dad safe version , hope they like it or i will cry my little eyes out.

silicon1138 · Post by **silicon1138** » Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:23 am

you should get hold of the midi files for Teen Spirit, alter them ever so slightly, then play all the parts using weak General Midi sounds.
At at their most aggressive, GM sounds are about as powerful as camomile tea.

spkey · Post by **spkey** » Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:29 am

FrancodeLeon88 wrote:i find that when the corporates ask for something, they have no idea what they are talking about. That's why they're corporates. That's why they're hiring us. To read their minds. And the better we can read their minds, the more often they'll book us.

Totally agree. I work in one of those corporations myself. They don't know what they want or they think they want something like teen spirit. They have their own interpretation of "Rock".

Best thing you can do is ask yourself what kind of music these people are into that has guitars and drums.

And probably you already know what the answer is.

ollyb303 · Post by **ollyb303** » Fri Oct 17, 2008 12:37 pm

Post it, post it, post it!!!

Emissary · Post by **Emissary** » Fri Oct 17, 2008 1:03 pm

silicon1138 wrote:you should get hold of the midi files for Teen Spirit, alter them ever so slightly, then play all the parts using weak General Midi sounds.
At at their most aggressive, GM sounds are about as powerful as camomile tea.

your saying people want something that sounds like this????????

http://www.cyber-junkie.com/music/midis ... spirit.mid