EvilEvilEvil Guide to Making Music Not So Much Fun to Making

Discussion of music production, audio, equipment and any related topics, either with or without Ableton Live
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EvilEvilEvil Guide to Making Music Not So Much Fun to Making

Post by EvilEvilEvilEvilEvilEvi » Sun Sep 28, 2008 4:18 pm

Hello Friends,

And welcome me back. Been a long time but I was lost in an infinite loop in my tweaking frenzy for over 247 days. afterall i am a real tweeker type guy and like to experiemnt. but i did learned a lot and now I come to share with you the lesson I learn. So here goes it is my step by step guide for making music not so much fun.

Intro - many of us have fun making music and that why we do it and like it - because it is fun. am i wrong? but what little of us know that music doesn't HAVE to be fun. You might one day have a miserable time making music. Then you think, "geez, how do i create this situation again, so that i have a horrible time making music." well here's is my guide to thsis

1) The first principal you learn is to hate music. get into this mentlly. go to the studio thinking "i hate music, it's the worst". this is very important. it makes contribute to the negative energy that you will try to surround yourself with for the rest of the day.

2) Next, get in the studio and make your chair way too low. this ensures that you will look up at your screen so that after 4-5 hours your shoulders are in intense burning (flaming?) pain. This is called early preparation - so do it now and you won't not have to think about this later.

3) install Native Instruments plugins (use KORE if you have it), or install some of the demos. Nothing crashes a system better than NI plugins and if you really want to get frustrating very early, try to authroize the NI plugins in under 4 hours. If you've following evcery step so far you are in for a horrible time making music already.

7) Moving forward.... open your DAW and load up some of the NI instrument on some tracks. If you haven't crashed yet, you are not doing it enough. Try to get a kernel error or complete system meltdown within the very first 5 minutes or you are not doing enough!(if you use an older Macbook this is easy - the processor will get so hot that you cant even check email).

12) Feel the horror burning inside of you

5) This is important to insure a horrible time. If you are use a soundcard, turn the outputing buffer down to 2ms and change your session to 24bit 48k. You will see what I meant by this. everything you play will have an interesting distortion - a natural buffer overriding effect that will make tweakers think is you're cool. After 3 seconds you will hate what you are listening to - which is good. We must be remembering the primary emotion driving this horrible days at music making.

10) After your neck begins hurting from staring upward at screen and your ears are fried from the 1ms output buffer, go outside now and drink 7 espressos. wait.... wait.... wait....

7) Now run to the bathroom.

8) Go back to the studio and you will feel plenty jittery and refreshing but the best is still to come. Now you can bounce your track and upload it to beatport. thsi is the tricky part because your misery is now completly dpepneding on the people at beatport. so listin carefully...

9) after your track is uploading to beatport, try to find it in the mass of trance music and unmastered minimal techno. You will be very unlucky if the data entry professionals at beatport spell your name right. If they do spell it right (by some weird mistaking) try uploading your track again until they get it wrongly. This will help ensure that your track is hard to find and nobody sees it in the abysmal beatport electronic music decay (ABEMD). The emotional effect of this is frusteration, self-loathing and and overall hatred for music of all kinds - exccept for trance which is universal excpeted as decent working man's music. if this is what you feeling, you have succeessed with the goals for today.

1) By now, you should be seriously crashing from the 7 espresso you drink earlier. Your neck and ears should be extremely painful and sesnsitive to touch. You had a horrible time in the studio and now feel completly horrible and full of hate. on top of that.. you have successsfully made a track and uploaded it to the masses where they will never find it and be able to experience the pain you are feeling today.

i hoping this was informative and stay tuned for next installment "mustaches and music and canadians: a retrospective"

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Post by gardener » Sun Sep 28, 2008 4:27 pm

Where can I buy the plug (in) for making unmastered minimal?

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Post by EvilEvilEvilEvilEvilEvi » Sun Sep 28, 2008 4:41 pm

gardener wrote:Where can I buy the plug (in) for making unmastered minimal?
you can order this from Wales where minimal techno plugins are the only plugins existing there. mastering has not yet being introduced to Wales for political reasons and English musicians like the Australian Russel Crowe.

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Post by roach808 » Sun Sep 28, 2008 5:28 pm

Wow, nothing short of pure genius good sir. Must try this out the next time im making some proper minimal tek-housefunk. Altho, I may try adding afew new points to the this concept. Maybe try adding in some food poison to the equation. Nothing helps the hate quite like having to run to the bathroom like every 5 mins.

How did the infinite loop turn out, btw? I'm sure its tweek-tacular.
roach- the other white meat
MBP, Live Suite, and lots of nice analogue gear.

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Post by xzusa8ky » Sun Sep 28, 2008 6:19 pm

Bitwig/1.0.5 - Ableton/Live 8 - Apple/MacPro-2.8Ghz-8Core-RAID - Samsung/SM-P2770H 27" - Yamaha/HS80M/HS10W - Behringer/BCR/BCF - Allen & Heath/Xone:3D - Sennheiser/HD25-13 - Native Instruments/Komplete9/Traktor Pro

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Post by Idonotlikebroccoli » Sun Sep 28, 2008 6:33 pm

Evilevilevile knows all for to make best regressive conducer compositionals.
Please vote! Live 10's "multi" clip editing should allow selection+editing of multiple clips in one action:

(L10-SUG-0228) Multiple MIDI transpose


john gordon
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Post by john gordon » Sun Sep 28, 2008 8:00 pm

thank you.i will follow your leads immensely.did you teach the doctor dre all of this?i was wondering why his music always stood out.do you manage artists?

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Post by trash » Sun Sep 28, 2008 8:02 pm

that will teach you for dealing with the devil (NI)
they are a bunch of rip off motherfuckers...

that was pretty funny...

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Post by sublimelobc » Sun Sep 28, 2008 8:39 pm

I don't want to be brainwashed by your music methods, but I will buy your t-shirt if you offer it for sale, or the hoodie.

You could use the live reversed and an anagram of ableton and you get a promising option: "Notable Evil"

The minimalist logo offers infinite ripoff opportunities...

You can foster in a new wave of uninspired/bitter musicians or wannabe bitter musicians that wear your merchandise!

With a little luck, three generations from now they might call it an artistic movement! You may have to sever your own ear to accomplish this, but it will be worth it.

You obviously had a lot of time to ponder during your absence, time well spent!

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Post by forge » Mon Sep 29, 2008 2:11 am

Mister the Evils

I am having trouble following all of the steps

I would be very grateful if you could make a video tutorial

thank you for your wonderful tips over the years

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Re: EvilEvilEvil Guide to Making Music Not So Much Fun to Making

Post by jonathanm » Mon Sep 29, 2008 2:50 am

EvilEvilEvilEvilEvilEvi wrote:(use KORE if you have it)
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Post by mikemc » Mon Sep 29, 2008 2:26 pm

amazing insight. :lol: and people say the forum is crap.

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Post by logic_user99 » Mon Sep 29, 2008 3:04 pm

I love Reaktor.
Macbook | Live 7.0.18 |

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Post by Machinesworking » Mon Sep 29, 2008 4:42 pm

Evil... you forgot the most important step to having a miserable time making music! compare your stuff to your favorite artists and notice how theirs sounds better.. ignore the fact that they are using $100K studios and you're using a 1K studio, it's obviously your incompetence and lack of talent! Ignore the fact that a lot of famous composers buy or steal bits and pieces or entire songs off of other composers, you still are not cutting it.

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Post by aisling » Mon Sep 29, 2008 4:53 pm

:D May I add to keep lots of studio snacks that are laden with the fat substitute "olestra". Olestra leeches vitamins from you and has the added benefit of making things leak out of your ass with no control. Soiled underpants always help accelerate the the no fun process.

Live, Reason, Moog sub phatty, Moog sub 37, Ozone 6, guitars, Pedals, proper ergonomic sitting posture, french pressed coffee with a pinch of cardamon.

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