musician jokes ... know any good ones?

[leedsquietman]

Here's a few of dubious quality to kick off

What did the drummer get on his I.Q. test ? Saliva ...

What's the hardest 3 years of a bass player's life? Second Grade

What's God's favorite chord?
"G sus."

Guitarist to girlfriend: Man, the bass player was so bad last night, even the singer noticed!
Q: Why do drummers have lots of kids?
A: They're terrible at the rhythm method.

What do you call the part of a gig when everyone goes to the bar? - the drum solo

Q: What do a guitar solo and premature ejaculation have in common?
A: You know it's coming and there's nothing you can do about it.

Q - How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A - At least 2000: one to change the bulb and 1999 to insist how much
better they could've done it!

Q - What do a cup of coffee and Eric Clapton have in common?
A - They both suck without Cream

Q: How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
A: Put it in the oven until it's Bill Withers.

[UKRuss]

How many country and western singers does it take to change a lightbulb?

10

One to change the lightbulb and the other nine to sing songs about how much they miss the old one.

[bodhi71]

Q. What do you call it when drool is coming out of both corners of the bassist's mouth?

A. A level stage.

[ChrisIhao]

What is the difference between a male tenor and an ultimate fighting championship fighter? One of them have balls

[Pitch Black]

What has six legs and two heads?














Nirvana

[ChrisIhao]

@PitchBlack: Muahaha! Evil!

[Cryptic UK]

Everyone on this forum..... hahhahaha

[v0ins315]

Everyone on this forum..... hahhahaha

winner!

[stringtapper]

Q: What do you call two violists playing in unison?

A: Counterpoint.


Q: Did you hear about the guitar player who locked his keys in the car?

A: He had to break the window to let the drummer out!


Q: What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?

A: No one cries when you chop up an oboe.

[mikemc]

how about, my helpful diagram in this General forum post:
http://forum.ableton.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=142392

?

[malutki]

Q: how do you know there is a singer at the door?















A: does not know what a key is and never knows when to come in

[shimmy]

lol

[estevan carlos benson]

wow... these sound like old jokes.

come on! this is the ableton forum. we need jokes about beatmakers and synths and quantization and about how drums machines have no soul and how other musicians don't know how to use computers. stuff like that.

[stringtapper]

how other musicians don't know how to use computers.

Check the 'General' section.

[malutki]

we need jokes about beatmakers and synths and quantization

maybe, but the OP wanted jokes about musicians!