Plz suggest the best instrument to extract a chunk of earwax

[Styles Bitchly]

Ok, so I'm sitting watching a flick with the lady the other evening and all of the sudden, my left ear goes all muffled on me. I think I got some water in it when taking my weekly shower a few hours earlier. Anyway, it's been muffled now for two days and of course it's driving me looney tunes. I remember that scene in Shrek I where Shrek pulls this Hershey Kissy sized/shaped chunk of wax out of his ear and makes a candle out of it....that is so like what I need to do. I think I'm gonna need a bit of help though, so please suggest the best tool that I should use based on your experiences with this dilemma. I want to pop that mofo out of there and feel that relaxing tickle you get when the pressure in your eustachian tube is relieved, and that cool suction sound you get when that hunk of egg-yolk colored grief pops loose.

[stringtapper]

Penny whistle?

[Styles Bitchly]

there's no "my dick" option, so your poll is meaningless.

So yer sayin then basically that you used your shlong once to exhume a slab of earwax. How'd that work out for you?

[Bagatell]

A BIC biro cap.

[eddiex]

i didn't see Q tip.....but i chose bobby pin....my grandmother swore by that method.
i knew a girl that did this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ear_candling and said it was amazing.....she said you wouldn't believe the stuff it pulls out (mainly bug parts)
sorry to weird anyone out, who has "ear issues"...but it is halloween weekend

[Styles Bitchly]

A BIC biro cap.

Oh man...those are awesome! I had forgotten all about those. They're soooo multi-functional too. We used to take the ink refill out of them in grade school and use the hollow pen body as a magnificent spitball shooter for battles when the teacher left the room to take a dump. I think I held the class record of launching a spitball approx. 70 feet. I remember it hit this guy named Paul Cartwright just below the temple and stuck there...he walked around most of the day unaware that it was stuck to the side of his face.

[hoffman2k]

[crofter]

I've always found dynamite to be very effective.

[Styles Bitchly]

I've always found dynamite to be very effective.

My girlfriend insisted that a toilet plunger was the best way to go, so I let her give it a shot last night. It didn't work, so then she suggested Drain-O. I'm not so sure about that stuff...it might be pretty caustic to my smooth complexion.

[savyurrecords]

Go to the doctor. Don't you make music? Take scutheotaku's advice. Don't stick things in your ear!!

[Styles Bitchly]

Go to the doctor. Don't you make music? Take scutheotaku's advice. Don't stick things in your ear!!

Yes...I am a musician. However, I've gotten an entirely new respect for scooped mids lately!

[Mint Invader]

http://www.amazon.com/AMSINO-INTERNATIO ... B001B9SJX4

[parma]

None of the above. Easy does it though - don't puncture your eardrum.

http://www.amazon.com/Handamde-Bamboo-C ... B0053OELYO

[Styles Bitchly]

What is that contraption? Looks like a Lithium Grease Gun for lubing upper ball joints or something. Or maybe a female hygene device.

[psyfi]

Don't stick things in your ear. Make an appointment with your Doctor to have them syringed http://www.patient.co.uk/health/Ear-Wax.htm and in the mean time you could use this type of thing http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/medicines/100002626.html but a little warm olive oil does much the same thing at a fraction of the price.

Poking anything in your ears will only compact the wax further and may damage your ear drum and there for hearing for good.