A truley priceless thread.

forge · Post by **forge** » Fri Sep 30, 2005 2:12 pm

"Quote:

No, you're walters when he's drunk.

I have no clue who that is but for the record i'm not a drinker and I do not do drugs."

by now I'm losing it.

The one thing that guy needs more than anything on this earth is drink or drugs. He should do us all a favour and become a heroin addict.

forge · Post by **forge** » Fri Sep 30, 2005 2:20 pm

actually the more I read the more I start to feel slightly sorry for the guy. I think is a few cards short of a deck.

Come on now people would we laugh at our friends disabled cousin?

Moody · Post by **Moody** » Fri Sep 30, 2005 2:22 pm

Angstrom wrote:this is weird and surreal,
I stopped comprehending the meaning of the word 'compression' after a while. I think it was pretty incidental to those guys too!

reminded me of my favourite phone rant (that I sometimes run over sets just to annoy /freak people)

crop circle crazy guy rant

oh man, that is the best rant.
enjoy!

Oh thank you! I will join you on that quest and play this for plenty of people.

forge · Post by **forge** » Fri Sep 30, 2005 2:29 pm

If you come up with more questions, just do the opposite of what you think is right.

rikhyray · Post by **rikhyray** » Fri Sep 30, 2005 2:40 pm

Angstrom wrote:this is weird and surreal,
I stopped comprehending the meaning of the word 'compression' after a while. I think it was pretty incidental to those guys too!

reminded me of my favourite phone rant (that I sometimes run over sets just to annoy /freak people)

crop circle crazy guy rant

oh man, that is the best rant.
enjoy!

Thanks , great. i am tempted to mix it in on some live shows too.
That compression thread is amazing too. Imagine a label choosing his studio for your production, specially if you are guitarist....

GK · Post by GK » Fri Sep 30, 2005 3:31 pm

I Believe trolls are the most annoying thing on the net . . . .

there should be a law or something about them.

Ted 3000 · Post by **Ted 3000** » Fri Sep 30, 2005 5:07 pm

I read that whole damn thread. I think the kid is right!

1. EQs control overall volume dynamics (not frequency response.)

2. Compression is used to control the volume of a track (faders are for the weak)

3. Three mics are needed to bring out the rich tones of a solid state Peavey amp.

4. Every tack within a song needs to have totally saturdated bass, mids and treble. Headroom and "space" are dumb.

And of course, all this insantity is to produce some basement laptop Nu Metal bullshit with a hypertechnical yet sloppy 3 minute guitar solo. The problem with 3 mics is, when your mom yells down the stiars that she is trying to sleep, the room mic pikcs it up clearly. But you don't hear it until you are listening on proper speakers, in front of a local record company talent agent.

Your goatee with be damp with tears.

lnikj · Post by **lnikj** » Fri Sep 30, 2005 6:47 pm

Quote:
I'm more than happy to suck the low end out of them to make room for the bass and kick.

I think we already know "sucking" is one of your best features, theres really no need for any more details about your aftificial fake processes.

---

ROFL. Priceless

Moody · Post by **Moody** » Fri Sep 30, 2005 6:59 pm

Ted 3000 wrote:I read that whole damn thread. I think the kid is right!

1. EQs control overall volume dynamics (not frequency response.)

2. Compression is used to control the volume of a track (faders are for the weak)

3. Three mics are needed to bring out the rich tones of a solid state Peavey amp.

4. Every tack within a song needs to have totally saturdated bass, mids and treble. Headroom and "space" are dumb.

And of course, all this insantity is to produce some basement laptop Nu Metal bullshit with a hypertechnical yet sloppy 3 minute guitar solo. The problem with 3 mics is, when your mom yells down the stiars that she is trying to sleep, the room mic pikcs it up clearly. But you don't hear it until you are listening on proper speakers, in front of a local record company talent agent.

Your goatee with be damp with tears.

Actually with solid state amps you are going to want to use at least 4 mics. You do want stereo spatial fillers right?

This is the best thread ever.

dpel · Post by **dpel** » Fri Sep 30, 2005 7:47 pm

< spraying coffee out my nose>

way too funny

computo · Post by **computo** » Fri Sep 30, 2005 7:51 pm

the funniest part was when he tried to debunk the "tape" concept...

hahahaha

"you use razor blades and alcohol for what? Shame..... "

What a fucking FOOL!

"I WAS TOLD THIS BY ONE OF THE SYNTRILLIUM ENGINEERS"

haha, just keeps getting better...

astromass · Post by **astromass** » Fri Sep 30, 2005 8:46 pm

yeah, classic thread. i love the macho musical masturbastion crew....these are the guys who nearly failed me in college for running electric bass thru the arp 2600 in the MIDI lab...d'oh!!!

supster · Post by **supster** » Fri Sep 30, 2005 8:54 pm

Ted 3000 wrote: 3. Three mics are needed to bring out the rich tones of a solid state Peavey amp.

... the problem with 3 mics is, when your mom yells down the stiars that she is trying to sleep, the room mic pikcs it up clearly... .

lol
.

wazzlez · Post by **wazzlez** » Fri Sep 30, 2005 10:48 pm

Hahaha oh man, that's great. There's a post from awhile back on gearslutz that's pretty good about craziest studio sessions all these different recording engineers have had, just stuff with hilariously drunk musicans and all that. I'll try to find it soon.

This part has to be my favorite:

Your inferior thought process is not translating that correctly. I bet it comes out as something like "COMPRESSION GOOD, DYNAMICS BAD" before you get distracted by something shiny.

You're a disgrace to humanity, and should be shot before you reproduce.
I think it is in your best interest to find another hobby/career, like moving objects from one spot to another. Something with a shallow learning curve and minimal mental processing. I'd suggest bagging at a grocery store, but the whole "Don't put the squishy things under the heavy things" might be a bit much.

Anyways, thanks for giving me some laughs this afternoon, it's been hilarious.

leisuremuffin · Post by **leisuremuffin** » Sat Oct 01, 2005 6:31 am

wow.

thanks.

.lm.