It's all about balance.
Step back and look at the quality time you are giving to your music vs. the quality time you are giving to your girl. If you see something that needs to be changed then take action to change it.
I'm capable of sitting here in front of this monitor for days on end, so sometimes I need my wife to snap me back to reality. most of the times I get defensive, but when I step back and look I see that she is usually right. Like seriously, lately, if I don't have to leave the house I wont. I've become a real hermit.
Your case may be the opposite, maybe you just aren't spending enough time doing what you love and your girl is the one being unrealistic.
the goal is to step back, put your emotions aside, and assess the situation. if you see where things need to change make a game plan to change them.
Then, share this with your girl. Explain to her that you
need certain times to do your music. You need to spend x amount of hours at-least dedicated to doing your music. And you need to spend x amount of hours alone doing your music. And most importantly you need to be able to do this without worrying that she is upset.
To offset this, regardless of how much time you already spend with your girl, set up an official "date night". And stick to it. once a week you go on a date with your girl. One week she decides what to do, and the next week you decide. or let her decide every week, or mutually decide. Anything from watching a movie, to going to a show, maybe just staying home and making love. Counter your music time with time, imtimate time, for just you and her. Just a suggestion.
Just make sure you are making time for her and giving her the attention she needs as your partner, but let her know that in order for john to be all john can be, john needs to make time for john too.
If you can get to this point and you feel she is still being unrealistic then you need to take a stand. not necessarily leave her, but you just put your foot down.
If there are times where she has agreed that "this time is johns time" and you see her encroaching on that be sure to point it out immediately. Don't be combative, just say well look, we agreed to such and such and for the last two weeks that hasn't panned out. I thought we were going to work on this?
You know, make her aware of what's going on and what she may be doing.
Your girl may be jealous of your passion towards music and/or art. It doesn't make her less of a person, just human. I went through that early on with my wife but eventually she accepted it and we worked out a balance. Like I said though, be open minded. I'm working on coming out of a long period of isolationism. i didn't even really see it, but like I mentioned earlier my wife pointed it out, out of concern.
Anyway.... I feel like a relationship is based on honest and open communication. And there will always be compromises to be made. There is nothing wrong with that, but it has to be a two way street.
Hope that helps.
***edit***
And not to sound rauchy or whatever, but seriously. If she is crashing at your place you can always give her some really good before bed lovin... generally after a good orgasm and the "after sex cuddle" my wife will fall sound asleep within 10 minutes.
perfect time to slip into the studio and make tunes till the sun starts rising and the birds start singing!
