Post
by Play » Tue Jul 04, 2006 5:51 am
My gf is perfect in so many ways but she needs undivided attention any time she is around me which is as much as possible. She doesn't understand me. I don't want to live like a caged animal and I don't want her to be with me if she is unhappy with me. She deserves to be happy! I think, as much as it will hurt and as much as I will miss her, I am going to have to let her go. It will be the hardest thing I have ever done because she is a great person, by far the best I have ever been with, and seeing her cry will crush me, but I have been going around and around about this for awhile and I beleive it will make us both happier in the future. We share an apartment together, which helps financially, and have purchased a lot of furniture together, which will have to be divided. Our lease ends in October and as she is thinking of the next place we are going to live, I am thinking of the next place I am going to live. We have to give a 60 day move-out notice so I plan to tell her then which means we will be living together for 2 months under those circumstances. Not looking forward to that, but it has to be done. I have 1 month to possibly change my mind and I am making a strong attempt. I quit my day job (Im, lucky, not an option for most). For the first time I am relying 100% on my DJ income to keep me above water. I plan to work on music all day while she is at work. So it should be out of my system allowing me to spend evenings with her. I think it will help a lot but I still worry about the travel aspect in the future and her ability to handle that. She deserves what she wants in a man and because of my obsession, I am different than most. I also worry because when we are together, what she wants to do and what i want to do are ALWAYS different... This adds to my feelings that it is soon to be over. I'm not sure if I will be ready to settle down until I feel I have truly established myself in this career. I hope to meet someone when traveling... The perfect fit is out there somewhere. Until then I will survive with condoms and random phycho chicks.

MacPro Quad, Dual 23" Apple Displays-15" MacBook Pro-Logic8, Live7, PowerSuite5-MAudio BX8s-Mackie Control Universal, ReMOTE SL 37, Korg padKONTROL-Serato Scratch SL3 & VSL-2 Pioneer CDJ1000MK2s, Pioneer DJM800