[Buca di Faggoncini, evening. Mr. Dawkins and Mrs. Garrison are having dinner there.]Last season on "South Park" the pair pilloried atheist Richard Dawkins. Specifically, they portrayed him as a dogmatic extremist and depicted the gray-haired biologist in flagrant delicto with a sexually ambiguous school teacher.
"He's the smartest dumbest person in the world," said Stone, who found Dawkins' brand of atheism as intolerant as religious extremism. "So we had him fall in love with Mr. Garrison."
Mrs. Garrison: So I told my gynecologist, "you put so many things in my vagina, maybe I should charge you!" [they both laugh at the story.]
Mr. Dawkins: Oh, Ms. Garrison, you are the most outspoken woman I have ever met! It's almost like you're one of the guys.
Mrs. Garrison: Hehyeah, almost.
Mr. Dawkins: You have so much spunk, so much life... If only you were an atheist.
Mrs. Garrison: Well... Well, you know, I'm... I'm open to stuff.
Mr. Dawkins: Why is someone as outspoken as you given themselves over to the whole God thing?
Mrs. Garrison: Oh I'm not... I'm not totally into the whole God thing. I just... I just think, you know, you can't disprove God.
Mr. Dawkins: Well what if I told you there was a flying spaghetti monster: Would you believe it simply because it can't be disproven?
Mrs. Garrison: [Thinks a moment] You're riiight. It's so simple! God is a spaghetti monster. Oh thank you, jeez! My eyes are opened! [stands up] Hey everyone, I'm an atheist!
Mr. Dawkins: Really?? Oh that's wonderful!
Mrs. Garrison: No, I totally get it now! Evolution explains everything! There is no great mystery to life, just evolution and God's a spaghetti monster! Thank you, Richard!
Mr. Dawkins: You're so welcome!
Mrs. Garrison: Would you like tuh... [preens again] head over to my place for dessert?
[Mrs. Garrison's bedroom, night. Mr. Dawkins is giving it to Mrs. Garrison doggy style, hard. Both moan and make other sexual noises.]
Mrs. Garrison: Oh yeah! Yeah, I'm a monkey! Give this monkey what she wants!
Mr. Dawkins: Oh Ms. Garrison!
Mrs. Garrison: Yeah, pound my monkey hole, Richard! Yeah, I'm a monkey all right!