Who steals all my lighters?!?

nebulae · Post by **nebulae** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 6:31 pm

sparklepuff wrote:
ethios4 wrote:Another good trick depending on your social scene is to buy one of the lighters with a naked guy on posing on it...most people don't want to hang on to a lighter with a naked dude on it!
That won't work if I'm around. I steal ALL lighters with naked men on them. The higher the quantity of naked + men, the more likely it is I'm going to steal it from you.

I can verify this, as I've seen him do it...but what's really disturbing is first the drag he takes when lighting up a fag with one of those naked-man lighters.

sparklepuff · Post by **sparklepuff** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 6:34 pm

Blasphemy, I wouldn't think of setting a fag on fire.

beats me · Post by **beats me** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 7:24 pm

nebulae wrote:
beats me wrote:Even nonsmokers should carry a lighter. The smoking section is the best place to meet women, second only to the dance floor.
They only want you for your butane.

No. It's because they know you are one stressed out individual and angry sex is the best sex.

nebulae · Post by **nebulae** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 7:37 pm

beats me wrote:
nebulae wrote:
beats me wrote:Even nonsmokers should carry a lighter. The smoking section is the best place to meet women, second only to the dance floor.
They only want you for your butane.
No. It's because they know you are one stressed out individual and angry sex is the best sex.

That's true - it's good while it lasts...and then comes the empty feeling of objectification, emotionless fornication, and disconnection from the collective human soul. Carry on.

sparklepuff · Post by **sparklepuff** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 7:39 pm

My parole officer always warns me, "There's a fine line between angry sex and rape. Think about that next time."

nebulae · Post by **nebulae** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 7:41 pm

sparklepuff wrote:My parole officer always warns me, "There's a fine line between angry sex and rape. Think about that next time."

It's not rape if it's up the bum.

sparklepuff · Post by **sparklepuff** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 7:43 pm

nebulae wrote:
sparklepuff wrote:My parole officer always warns me, "There's a fine line between angry sex and rape. Think about that next time."
It's not rape if it's up the bum.

Holy crap, I was unaware of that. Another excellent reason, folks, to always consult your lawyer. They know every poophole, excuse me, loophole there is.

nebulae · Post by **nebulae** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 7:55 pm

sparklepuff wrote:Holy crap, I was unaware of that. Another excellent reason, folks, to always consult your lawyer. They know every poophole, excuse me, loophole there is.

I think it's very safe to say that if there's a hole, lawyers have fucked it.

ethios4 · Post by **ethios4** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 8:49 pm

I'm using this great moment in this great thread to quietly announce that today is my birthday!

leedsquietman · Post by **leedsquietman** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 8:50 pm

not guilty m'lud.

and happy b'day ethios.

did you steal the lighter and hope for clemency given it's your birthday

sparklepuff · Post by **sparklepuff** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 8:53 pm

Happy Birthday

ethios4 · Post by **ethios4** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 9:00 pm

shaaaaaawiiiiiing!!!!!

Stigmama · Post by **Stigmama** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 10:18 pm

nebulae · Post by **nebulae** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 11:03 pm

ethios4 wrote:I'm using this great moment in this great thread to quietly announce that today is my birthday!

You silly silly man, you must proclaim such events with the subtlety of a sledgehammer!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Many many congratultions, youngling! May you have many more years to come!

*HUGS*

massiveheadpain · Post by **massiveheadpain** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 11:29 pm

all your stoner buddies steal your lighters

Who steals all my lighters?!?

Who took my lighter?