The Ableton American Presidential Elections.

Meef Chaloin · Post by **Meef Chaloin** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 4:12 pm

who cares

Patch · Post by **Patch** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 4:14 pm

I wanted so bad to vote "Burn the infidels!" - but in the interests of accuracy I voted "Who Cares?".

weeddigger · Post by **weeddigger** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 4:18 pm

There were six hour lines for this voting nonsense in my town on Saturday... Miami, Fl.

Anyhow, why don't they just do this online?

I mean, I pay my bills, my taxes, and eh... Renew my driver's license, apply for credit, all online, and if that's secure enough, why not the vote?

WTF?!?!??

forge · Post by **forge** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 4:41 pm

I'm seeing the term "Palin 2012" a bit to often for comfort lately

Maybe that's what the Mayans were on about

Geezus · Post by **Geezus** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:02 pm

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_br ... ower_class

WASHINGTON—As election day nears, millions of the nation's poorest voters have reportedly yet to settle on the most profound and enduring way to completely fuck themselves over when they head to the polls this year.

"On the one hand, I'm pretty sure Barack Obama will undermine my best interests by maintaining the same centrist, pro-corporate policies of previous Democratic administrations," said Jim Estey, 34, a recently laid-off assembly-line worker. "Conversely, I agree with McCain and Palin on abortion, which might just balance out the fact that they'll further marginalize people like me by supporting deregulation and slashing social programs. So it's pretty much a toss-up at this point."

Though such behavior appears to directly undermine their own well-being, lower-income voters have historically supported candidates determined to screw them six ways to Sunday, including Bill Clinton, who incarcerated them in record numbers and cut the welfare benefits many depended on for day-to-day sustenance, and George W. Bush, who widened the gap between them and the rich and sent thousands of them to die in Iraq. This year's election is reportedly unique in that the nation's poor must not only weigh how deeply and painfully their chosen candidate will penetrate their rectums, but must also consider unforeseen outside circumstances—such as economic collapse and terrorism—that might allow the next president to bend them over and brutally rape them in ways they never thought possible.

The latest polls indicate that a majority of lower-class citizens might choose not to vote at all Nov. 4, preferring instead to leave the details of how they get fucked to the moneyed classes.

hoffman2k · Post by **hoffman2k** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:05 pm

forge wrote:I'm seeing the term "Palin 2012" a bit to often for comfort lately

Maybe that's what the Mayans were on about

You bet ya!

Tone Deft · Post by **Tone Deft** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:06 pm

I'm just looking forward to people NOT making more and more election threads.

FFS Ableton give us Live 8 so there's something decent to talk about!! GIVE US ANYTHING!!!!

forge - where are you seeing Palin 2012? has to be the media, which is partly owned and controlled by... an Aussie!!!! which rhymes with...

NAZI!!!

hoffman2k · Post by **hoffman2k** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:12 pm

I hope the Daily Show and Colbert report don't get canceled.
The Bush material wrote itself and 24 hour news networks are *@#!&#&*...
Obama better be bringing the goods

Tone Deft · Post by **Tone Deft** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:16 pm

Colbert and Stewart can get jobs in the industry for a long, long time. if Comedy Central dropped them any number of stations would kill to pick them up.

forge · Post by **forge** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:22 pm

damn I got these threads mixed up - I meant to post this here

http://www.cracked.com/video_16720_sara ... n-ads.html

Martyn · Post by **Martyn** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:24 pm

Tone Deft wrote:FFS Ableton give us Live 8 so there's something decent to talk about!! GIVE US ANYTHING!!!!

+1

NorthernMonkey · Post by **NorthernMonkey** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 10:16 pm

Tone Deft wrote:I'm just looking forward to people NOT making more and more election threads.

FFS Ableton give us Live 8 so there's something decent to talk about!! GIVE US ANYTHING!!!!

werd.

OvertoneZero · Post by **OvertoneZero** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 10:22 pm

Finally something we can all agree on

Patch · Post by **Patch** » Wed Nov 05, 2008 10:31 am

I'm glad this is all over. I haven't been this bored since the World Cup...

The Ableton American Presidential Elections.

Vote now!