best advice ever thread

[beats me]

If in doubt have a wank.

I think that advice has frequently been followed and has probably set mankind back 100 years from where we should be today.

[Martyn]

If in doubt have a wank.

I wonder if we're now living in the most socially acceptable time in history for masturbation? How often did cro-magnon man crank one off, and to what visual inspiration?

Sorry, not much advice to give, a stronger pair of spectacles maybe.

[McQ714]

always be concerned... "about the security... of your shit!"

[Android Bishop]

*Your connections to other people are ultimately the most important aspect of your life, however...
*Never, ever forget that your prerogative in life is to look out for #1. YOU (or, I mean to say, ME)

[OvertoneZero]

Never trust a beautiful woman.

[Android Bishop]

Always know where you towel is. I am guessing only hoopy froody people will get this.

*raises his pan galactic gargle blaster to toast this advice*

[nebulae]

If in doubt have a wank.

I wonder if we're now living in the most socially acceptable time in history for masturbation? How often did cro-magnon man crank one off, and to what visual inspiration?

Sorry, not much advice to give, a stronger pair of spectacles maybe.

I was actually masturbationing while reading this on my iPhone. "Lunch" break indeed.

[McQ714]

Never trust a beautiful woman.

never trust a big butt and a smile.. that girl is...

[nebulae]

learn the difference between Reply and Reply All:

[ethios4]

pepezabala, you have the worst advice!

Make an emergency cable pack, with every kind of cable and adapter you could need in a live situation. Whatever your interface's output, you will need an adpator to change it to 1/8", 1/4", RCA, and XLR. Bring various lengths of cable, up to 30 ft. You never know when it might be a lifesaver.

Bring a CD or DVD with your live set als file, any necessary samples, any necessary drivers, and the installer for Live. If your computer dies hours before the show, you might be able to borrow a laptop, install Live (in demo mode) and drivers, and run your set.

Bring a copy of your operating system installer. You might need it if someone bizarre OS problem pops up hours before.

Bring extra firewire and usb cables. You might lose yours, or someone else might need one. Being someone else's lifesaver is a great thing. I played a party a couple of years ago where the headliner needed a firewire cable (because the promoters/organizers hadn't brought one for his setup) and the show came to a halt for about 10 minutes while they tried to locate one. I could have been the one to supply the cable but instead I was standing there saying "I can feel the universe breeeaaaaathing!"

Bring your own power strip and power extension cord.

You probably won't know what your getting into beforehand, so it's best to be prepared.

You're there for the audience. No matter what has happened with the promoter, give the audience your best. If the promoter has failed you, the audience doesn't know and it makes no sense to project your frustration on to them.

If anything goes wrong, stay calm, don't look like there's a problem, make it fun. I saw Bassnectar recently and while he was playing the sound completely cut out. The stage manager comes running over with a horrified look on his face, but Bassnectar says "Every once in a while my long hair gets caught on a fader and this happens. You all don't mind that do ya?" and proceeds to pound the crowd with the sickest bassline ever. That's the way to do it!

[mikemc]

some really excellent best advice, thanks all, even pepezebala

[3dot...]

don't forget to double check cables/power-adapters /guitar strap....
(before and after the show...)

[smartass303]

step 1: act like a asshole all the time
step 2: ask the promoter for coke and hookers (leave if he doesnt deliever)
step 3: play no longer than fourty minutes (you choose how crappy)
step 4: off you go in your 5 stars hotel (do the hookers and the coke)

i have seen that, it works,

303

[senator adam]

Make sure you are using the most recent drivers (and firmware if your interface allows firmware updates).

I agree with everything you said except for this. The biggest problems I've ever had were from updates...

If it works fine, don't mess with it.

[senator adam]

Also, keep spare cables of what you use in your glove compartment in your car if you are traveling that way. You can easily lose your spare ones if you carry them around in your bag.

Turn off your screen/monitor everyonce in a while when listening to your own produced tunes in Ableton. You hear it better.

Try changing the gain and EQ first before slapping on a compressor.