Anybody have good musician jokes?

mlehmann · Post by **mlehmann** » Mon Sep 14, 2009 11:59 pm

What's the difference between a singer and a terrorist? At least, with the terrorist, you can negotiate...

How do you make a guitar player play softer? Put charts in front of him...

crumhorn · Post by **crumhorn** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 9:39 am

This is an old one.

Back in the day Michael Cane decided to throw a party and invited lots of rock stars. But he got a reply from Jim Morrison saying he would only attend if he could have a prostitute perform oral sex on all the members of his band - to which Michael Cane willingly agreed.

After the party Michael was paying off the prostitute, but she asked for an extra £200. "Well I went into the room that you told me to and there was Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones as well".

"You Idiot" replied Michael....

(after 3)

"You were only supposed to blow the bloody Doors off!"

Dombleton · Post by **Dombleton** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 1:40 pm

crumhorn wrote:This is an old one.

Back in the day Michael Cane decided to throw a party and invited lots of rock stars. But he got a reply from Jim Morrison saying he would only attend if he could have a prostitute perform oral sex on all the members of his band - to which Michael Cane willingly agreed.

After the party Michael was paying off the prostitute, but she asked for an extra £200. "Well I went into the room that you told me to and there was Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones as well".

"You Idiot" replied Michael....

(after 3)

"You were only supposed to blow the bloody Doors off!"

Now that was a funny joke.
Introducing a none music joke you would think would only be dome if it is a really amazing joke, yet the Bill Clinton joke was barely even a joke. I certainly didn't laugh.

mojofunk · Post by **mojofunk** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 2:09 pm

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the drum solo.

mojofunk · Post by **mojofunk** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 2:13 pm

How do you make a chain saw sound like a baritone sax?
Add vibrato.

Pitch Black · Post by **Pitch Black** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 9:09 pm

How many electronic musicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

(shrugs)

ehhh... we can change it later

Pitch Black · Post by **Pitch Black** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 9:10 pm

how many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

one.

two.

a-one-two-three-four...

heavensdaw · Post by **heavensdaw** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 9:12 pm

Pitch Black wrote:How many electronic musicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

(shrugs)

ehhh... we can change it later

Good one!

Hd

Pitch Black · Post by **Pitch Black** » Tue Sep 15, 2009 9:13 pm

How many sound engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

[alternate answer A]
one. two. TWO! TWO! ONE TWO, ONE, ONE, TWO...!!

[alternate answer B]
Fuck off, thats the lighting tech's job!

Anybody have good musician jokes?

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