Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 1:25 am
Foo
how many chauvinists does it take
to screw in a light bulb?
none! let the bitch cook in the dark.
Ableton Forum
OK, while we wait for the beta, jokes please.
Page 4 of 5
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 1:27 am
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 1:30 am
how many feminists does it take
to screw in a lightbulb??
ONE!!!!
(okay so its verbal; just say ONE!!! like you're pissed off!)
to screw in a lightbulb??
ONE!!!!
(okay so its verbal; just say ONE!!! like you're pissed off!)
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 1:35 am
(I know this is not dirty, and dated, but here goes...)
How many Dead Heads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10, 056. Six to screw it in, 10,000 to dance around in ecstacy (or on ecstacy
) and 50 to tape the experience.
How many Dead Heads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10, 056. Six to screw it in, 10,000 to dance around in ecstacy (or on ecstacy
) and 50 to tape the experience.Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 1:39 am
how many lesbians does it take
to screw in a lightbulb?
three; one to screw in the bulb two more
to write a folk song about it
to screw in a lightbulb?
three; one to screw in the bulb two more
to write a folk song about it
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 1:50 am
okay, enough with the bad lighbulb jokes-
"Two men walk into a bar, which is kinda funny;
you'd think the second one would see it coming..."
"Two men walk into a bar, which is kinda funny;
you'd think the second one would see it coming..."
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 3:52 am
What's brown and sticky?
A stick!
k
A stick!
k
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 4:04 am
okay, a pirate 'joke'..
Send down another cabin boy!
The last one split!
Arrrrrrrrrr...
Send down another cabin boy!
The last one split!
Arrrrrrrrrr...
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 6:28 am
ok this is a prank rather than a joke....
& only really funny if u haven't heard about it before.....
"We'd go and sit on the balcony at Terminal 3 at Heathrow, directly under one of
the speakers where the roof is low for maximum acoustic effects. We put a tape
recorder in our bag with the microphone poking out of the top. We'd look for a flight
that'd arrived in the last 40 minutes from somewhere where you'd expect foreign
names, then write a letter saying, 'Pick up passenger so and so, from flight etc,
destination etc.' That way, it looked like the limo had been arranged in advance as
the flight arrival details and the motel name was written on the note. We wore an
ID-style badge and carried a mobile so that we looked like limo drivers. One of us
would ask airport administration to make an announcement calling for our customer
and then the other did the second. We'd pretend to be unable to pronounce it and
then hand them the bit of paper with the name written on it to administration.
Long winded, but well worth it!
"Arheddis Varkenjabb and Aywellbe Fayed"
read as "I hate this fucking job, and I will be fired."
http://www.avigsidan.com/avigsidan/pict/airport01wav
Arhevbin Fayed and Bybeiev Rhibodie
read as "I've just been fired, and bye-bye everybody."
http://www.avigsidan.com/avigsidan/pict/airport02.wav
Aynayda Pizaqvick and Malexa Kröest
"I need a piss quick, and my legs are crossed."
http://www.avigsidan.com/avigsidan/pict/airport03.wav
Awul Dasfilshabeda and Nowaynayda Zheet
"Ah-oh, that's better and now I need a shit."
http://www.avigsidan.com/avigsidan/pict/airport04.wav
Makollig Jezvahted and Levdaroum DeBahzted
"My colleague just farted, and left the room, the bastard."
http://www.avigsidan.com/avigsidan/pict/airport05.wav
Steelaygot Maowenbach and Tuka Piziniztee
"Still, I got my own back and took a piss in his tea.
http://www.avigsidan.com/avigsidan/pict/airport06.wav
We got rumbled doing the 'My colleague just, etc'. They actually threatened to arrest
us as apparently they'd actually had complaints over the previous weeks! We were
toying with doing it again just to see what they'd arrest us for, but we decided to go
to Gatwick airport. This is the reason the last one sounds so crap 'cos Gatwick is a
much noisier place and the ceilings are high, and it was difficult to get near a
speaker. The lengths we had to go to.."
a link to the source
http://www.avigsidan.com/avigsidan/airport.html
& only really funny if u haven't heard about it before.....
"We'd go and sit on the balcony at Terminal 3 at Heathrow, directly under one of
the speakers where the roof is low for maximum acoustic effects. We put a tape
recorder in our bag with the microphone poking out of the top. We'd look for a flight
that'd arrived in the last 40 minutes from somewhere where you'd expect foreign
names, then write a letter saying, 'Pick up passenger so and so, from flight etc,
destination etc.' That way, it looked like the limo had been arranged in advance as
the flight arrival details and the motel name was written on the note. We wore an
ID-style badge and carried a mobile so that we looked like limo drivers. One of us
would ask airport administration to make an announcement calling for our customer
and then the other did the second. We'd pretend to be unable to pronounce it and
then hand them the bit of paper with the name written on it to administration.
Long winded, but well worth it!
"Arheddis Varkenjabb and Aywellbe Fayed"
read as "I hate this fucking job, and I will be fired."
http://www.avigsidan.com/avigsidan/pict/airport01wav
Arhevbin Fayed and Bybeiev Rhibodie
read as "I've just been fired, and bye-bye everybody."
http://www.avigsidan.com/avigsidan/pict/airport02.wav
Aynayda Pizaqvick and Malexa Kröest
"I need a piss quick, and my legs are crossed."
http://www.avigsidan.com/avigsidan/pict/airport03.wav
Awul Dasfilshabeda and Nowaynayda Zheet
"Ah-oh, that's better and now I need a shit."
http://www.avigsidan.com/avigsidan/pict/airport04.wav
Makollig Jezvahted and Levdaroum DeBahzted
"My colleague just farted, and left the room, the bastard."
http://www.avigsidan.com/avigsidan/pict/airport05.wav
Steelaygot Maowenbach and Tuka Piziniztee
"Still, I got my own back and took a piss in his tea.
http://www.avigsidan.com/avigsidan/pict/airport06.wav
We got rumbled doing the 'My colleague just, etc'. They actually threatened to arrest
us as apparently they'd actually had complaints over the previous weeks! We were
toying with doing it again just to see what they'd arrest us for, but we decided to go
to Gatwick airport. This is the reason the last one sounds so crap 'cos Gatwick is a
much noisier place and the ceilings are high, and it was difficult to get near a
speaker. The lengths we had to go to.."
a link to the source
http://www.avigsidan.com/avigsidan/airport.html
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 9:38 am
And funny to see "avigsidan" at this forum, while it's a Swedish site and while I have done some work for Explicon, that supports it!
// C
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 10:51 am
if your from the UK you get this one:
whats 3 feet high and found at the bottom of a kids bed?
gary glitters boots!
whats 3 feet high and found at the bottom of a kids bed?
gary glitters boots!
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 11:33 am
why is 6 afraid of 7?
'cause 7 8 9
'cause 7 8 9
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 2:31 pm
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 2:39 pm
So 2 Tuba players walked past a bar...
Hey it could happen!
Hey it could happen!
Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 2:49 pm
Q. whats long, hard , and full of seaman
A. a submarine
teheeeheee
A. a submarine
teheeeheee