OK, while we wait for the beta, jokes please.

Pitch Black · Post by **Pitch Black** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 11:56 am

Extra points for topicality.

My opening contribution:

Q: Why is Michael Jackson now going for 28 year-olds?

A: Because there's 20 of 'em!
(okay so its a verbal joke

)

Lets have em' folks...!!

sidownes · Post by **sidownes** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 12:24 pm

Here's one I stole from popbitch:

Q: Why are pirates called pirates?

A: Because they aaarrrrrrrr!

Apocrypha · Post by **Apocrypha** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 12:38 pm

sidownes wrote:Here's one I stole from popbitch:

Q: Why are pirates called pirates?

A: Because they aaarrrrrrrr!

That was so stupid but I had to laugh!

gaspode · Post by **gaspode** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 12:50 pm

This pirate walks into a bar with a big ship's wheel down his pants. The bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know you have a ship's wheel down the front of your pants?"
And the pirate says...

Aaargh, it's driving me nuts!!

gaspode · Post by **gaspode** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 12:52 pm

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird shit!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."

gaspode · Post by **gaspode** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 12:54 pm

WHAT DO YOU CALL A PIRATE WITH A COLLEGE DEGREE?

A LAWYER !

Apocrypha · Post by **Apocrypha** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 12:57 pm

I have a REALLY REALLY bad one that I want to tell, but I am afraid that some might get offended.......

Pitch Black · Post by **Pitch Black** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 1:04 pm

whip up an alias and post it!

crt · Post by **crt** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 1:10 pm

A screwdriver walks into a bar and sits down.

The bartender says, "That's so weird! We've got a drink named after you!"

And the screwdriver says, "You've got a drink named Murray?!"

That's my favortie joke.

Apocrypha · Post by **Apocrypha** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 1:11 pm

Pitch Black wrote:whip up an alias and post it!

just for one really bad joke???

forge · Post by **forge** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 1:32 pm

I heard this in a lift on a building site. You can insert enemy of your choice as the main character but I'll include the one I heard, but being tasmanian I know nothing of rugby players....

::::::::::

[Anthony Mundine] goes to the doctors and says 'doc help me, everytime I look in the mirror I get sexually aroused.'

Doctor says "that's not surprising, you're a cunt!"

Sales Dude McBoob · Post by **Sales Dude McBoob** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 1:33 pm

check out this dude's website. watch his video clips...

www.demetrimartin.com

And while I'm at it... What did the HR824s have for dinner?

Sales Dude McBoob · Post by **Sales Dude McBoob** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 1:34 pm

MoPad Thai!

brokenbeat · Post by **brokenbeat** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 1:45 pm

I had a massive argument with the missus yesterday....something about me not opening a door for her....

...I said "Im sorry I just panicked and swam to the surface"

JAMM · Post by **JAMM** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 2:40 pm

Okay cant,s resist it...some album covers