Mitt Romney's Dirty Little Secret

[Linear Phase]

Hi.. Please post dirty little secrets about Mitt Romney below

[aisling]

Can go for thirds on an Indian buffet.....gets silly with the Alu Gabi and tikka massala. Also spent $750 on Extenz, to no avail.

[Komodovaran]

Can go for thirds on an Indian buffet

And farts while doing so.

[nathannn]

back in 1875 mitt romney started the u.s. cival war with the idea of trafficking meth.

[beats me]

Mitt’s name is actually Tim but he’s dyslexic.

-Bill Maher

[Mint Invader]

After 3rds at the Thai buffet he had to get new magic underwear.

[aisling]

Mitt’s name is actually Tim but he’s dyslexic.

-Bill Maher

[starving student]

he obviously loves his wife and his children and grand children very much. when he and his wife look at each other you can tell they are still in love.

[aisling]

he obviously loves his wives, his children, and grand children very much. when he and his wives look at each other you can tell they are still in love.

Fixed

[Homebelly]

In 1972 Mitt Romney invented the doughnut with a hole in.
This became an immediate success and Mit could easily have retired and lived out the rest of his life
in salt lake city.

However, Mitt knew he had a higher calling and so entered the torrid world of federal politics.
After winning a seat in washington he set about finding a table that matched.

Before not to long Mitt had an entire dinning room furniture set and invited lots of influential people over for dinner.
This dinner would prove to be an auspicious gather and it was at this dinner during a drunken game of twister that Mitt boasted he would go
to alaska and work tirelessly to free the Eskimos from slavery and return them to their african home lands.
It took ten long years and many struggles involving snow boots with lots of laces and road maps that looked like blank sheets of papper,
but eventually Mitt succeeded.

The Eskimos where so grateful that they built mighty totems of him and worshiped him as a deity.
To this day you can still see them, intricately carved out of native pineapple trees.
Great effigies of Mitts muscular taught body straining against the chains of repression and glistening in the sweat of perseverance and justice.

After this great success Mitt returned to the USA and taught the black people of the lower 48 how to dance.
His greatest success was James Brown, and James would go onto champion Mitt in all of the juke joints and prison cells around the
great southern states. To this day lots of black children, both boys and girls, are named after him.
In fact it is often said that if you find your self lost in the projects of Atlanta, Birmingham, or Nebraska all you need to do is call out Mitts name and hundreds of friendly black people will come running toward you.

After inventing the wheel and the de-railer gear Mitt set about teaching the native americans how to ride bicycles.
This also proved to be an astonishing success, so much so that many of the members of AIM put down their weapons and became members of the USA olympic cycling team. This team went on to win the gold medals in all cycling events at the 1982 St Lucia winter Olympic games.

For many years Mitt has struggled with his sexual identity.
From 1983 to 1996 Mitt hitched up his ball sack and lived as Oprah Winfrey, a role currently being played by Whoopee Goldberg and Robin Williams.
He also spent time being Jennifer Aniston and that one girl with braces in that movie about the stuff with a blind horse in that wins the lottery.

After living in a tebetan monastery at the top of Mt Rushmore for 50 years, where he lived on only boiled eggs and mountain dew, Mitt decided it was time to run for president.

Knowing he couldn't match Ron Pauls charm and femininity he liberated him self from the shackles of transsexuality and instead started his own religion. After finding several gold plates and a very nice cutlery set buried in the ground and seeing this as a sign from god, he immediately invented Mormonism.
Since inventing Mormonism many dead people have contacted him from beyond the grave to ask for his help in converting them to the new religion.
In return for this amazing privilege many have posthumously endorsed his run for office in 2013.

I think that about brings us up to date.

[nathannn]

in 1992 mitt romney invented the butt so he would have a place to hide his drugs.
in 1993 mitt romney invent pooping as a way to crap out the drugs, before this no one ever had the need to take a shit.
in 2000 mitt romney invented the nobel peace prize just to award it to himself for inventing pooping.
in 2001 mitt romney raged terror on the world when he invented diaria from a hangover.
in 1974 mitt romney invent ableton live because he thought it would be funny to watch peoples sets crash while playing live.

[nathannn]

in 2014 mitt romney sued everyone in this thread for defamation of character even though he secretly enjoyed being slandered.

[cpyatak]

[simmerdown]

[krismiller1982]