MY RECENT CONVERSATION WITH AL GORE

[TAINTLICK]

AL: TAINT, OLD BOY! HOW'S IT HANGIN'?
TAINT: GREAT, MY MAN.
AL: COOL. JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT GLOBAL WARMING WILL BE KICKING IN ON JANUARY 19.
TAINT: THAT'S GREAT, AL. BEAUTIFUL. HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS SEVERE BOUT OF COLD WEATHER LATELY?
AL: TAINT, YOU AREN'T PAYING ATTENTION. IT NEEDS TO GET COLDER BEFORE IT GETS HOTTER.
TAINT: OH. OKAY. COOL. THANKS, BRO.
AL: NO PROBLEM, TAINTY.

-END OF CONVERSATION-

[beats me]

Good to hear he is being cordial and putting it in terms you can accept.

Usually he hands out a picture like this followed by a “go fuck yourself”.

[andydes]

I'm sick of these so called "scientists" telling me stuff I don't want to hear, just so they can grab a few thousand quid in research grants.

Fortunately, the fossil fuel industry is generous enough to spend many millions so I can hear the truth and ensure the politicians aren't swayed by money grabbing researchers.

I mean, who would you believe? Obvious, innit?

These "scientists" claim to have things up in the sky called "satellites" that look down and see how hot the ground is. I mean, what do they take us for? You can't tell how hot something is by looking at it, can you? You need a thermometer or something. Unless it's on fire. And we ain't on fire are we? I've seen pictures of these "satellites" and I'll tell you another thing, they've got no fucking engines! Ha! How come they don't fall down then, eh? Explain that, Mr scientist! What a load of horseshit.

Plus, my mate Dave, who drinks down the Dog and Six Arseholes, he says all these "scientists" went to university. And everyone knows that students are all communists and faggots.

So there you go.

[beats me]

I'm sick of these so called "scientists" telling me stuff I don't want to hear, just so they can grab a few thousand quid in research grants.

Fortunately, the fossil fuel industry is generous enough to spend many millions so I can hear the truth and ensure the politicians aren't swayed by money grabbing researchers.

I mean, who would you believe? Obvious, innit?

These "scientists" claim to have things up in the sky called "satellites" that look down and see how hot the ground is. I mean, what do they take us for? You can't tell how hot something is by looking at it, can you? You need a thermometer or something. Unless it's on fire. And we ain't on fire are we? I've seen pictures of these "satellites" and I'll tell you another thing, they've got no fucking engines! Ha! How come they don't fall down then, eh? Explain that, Mr scientist! What a load of horseshit.

Plus, my mate Dave, who drinks down the Dog and Six Arseholes, he says all these "scientists" went to university. And everyone knows that students are all communists and faggots.

So there you go.

Not to mention you can get a fairly accurate idea of what is going on globally by standing on your front porch for a few minutes. That’s the only study and fact checking anybody should have to do.

[H20nly]

FUCK YEAH andydes!

scientists pffft!

dey took r jawbs!!

[andydes]

Exactly. Why are all the climate science jobs going to these la-de-da, colleged educated people, and not regular decent folk who drive a real car?

[stringtapper]