OK, while we wait for the beta, jokes please.
Ok...Here is my joke. I didn't invent this one so don't kill the messenger. Also, some of you have probably already heard this before:
Question.....What's the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
Answer.........The pimple waits until you are at least 13 before he cums all over your face.
Question.....What's the difference between a pimple and a Priest?
Answer.........The pimple waits until you are at least 13 before he cums all over your face.
Dual 2.5gig G5 with 2.5g/ram, DP 4.6, Live 6, Kontakt, Battery, Guitar Rig, EWQLSO Gold, Ivory, Pluggo, Waves, Tritone Digital, PSP, tons of free plug-ins, DFHS, BFD, Event ASP8's, Trigger Finger.....and a bunch of other shite.
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plainclothes
- Posts: 25
- Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2004 7:18 pm
- Location: Brooklyn
- Contact:
(with all due apologies and respects to Italians)
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
“Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time.”
“You foul-mouthed swine,” retorted the lady indignantly. “In this country we don’t talk about our sex lives in public!”
“Hey, coola down lady,” said the man. “Who talkin’ about a sexa? I’m a justa tellin’ my frienda how to spella ‘Mississippi’.”
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
“Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time.”
“You foul-mouthed swine,” retorted the lady indignantly. “In this country we don’t talk about our sex lives in public!”
“Hey, coola down lady,” said the man. “Who talkin’ about a sexa? I’m a justa tellin’ my frienda how to spella ‘Mississippi’.”
17" iMac G5 PowerPC 2 GHz/2GB, MBP 2.2 GHz (Santa Rosa)
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anti-banausic
- Posts: 1609
- Joined: Fri Jun 11, 2004 9:15 pm
- Location: NYC
Here's a quick one that came from this forum, I think:
Two atoms walk into a bar, and the first one says to the second, "I think I am missing an electron".
To which the second atom says, "Are you sure?".
First Atom, "Yeah, I am positive!"....
Kills me everytime. So Geeky, it's Cheeky!
Two atoms walk into a bar, and the first one says to the second, "I think I am missing an electron".
To which the second atom says, "Are you sure?".
First Atom, "Yeah, I am positive!"....
Kills me everytime. So Geeky, it's Cheeky!
Macbook c2d 2.0, 2G RAM, 160G HD 5400 RPM, OSX(10.5.5), XP Home, LIVE6, BCR 2000, UC33e, Yamaha P-200, Logic Studio, KRK V6 II
I love puns. Good one Anti.
I entered a pun writing contest about a year ago. $10 per entry so I entered my 10 best. I figured I had a pretty good chance that one would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
I entered a pun writing contest about a year ago. $10 per entry so I entered my 10 best. I figured I had a pretty good chance that one would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
15" PB 2.5 Ghz, 4 Gig RAM, 750 GB HD, Live 9 still no cue points or program change messages?!?. Doesn't do shit.
Q: What is the range of a clarinet?
A: About forty yards, if you have a good throwing arm.
Q: What's the difference between an Uzi and an accordion?
A: The Uzi stops after 20 rounds.
Q: What is the least used sentence in the English language?
A: "Is that the banjo player's new Porsche?"
Q: What is the definition of "semitone"?
A: Two oboes playing in unison.
Judge: Hmm... haven't I seen your face before?
Defendant: Yes, your honor. I gave your son violin lessons.
Judge. Ah, of course. Forty years!
A: About forty yards, if you have a good throwing arm.
Q: What's the difference between an Uzi and an accordion?
A: The Uzi stops after 20 rounds.
Q: What is the least used sentence in the English language?
A: "Is that the banjo player's new Porsche?"
Q: What is the definition of "semitone"?
A: Two oboes playing in unison.
Judge: Hmm... haven't I seen your face before?
Defendant: Yes, your honor. I gave your son violin lessons.
Judge. Ah, of course. Forty years!
An Englishman, an American, and a irishman we in a bar. They each ordered a Guinness and took a seat. Before they got to drinking, a fly landed on the head of the Englishman's beer. He got up and ordered a fresh beer. The fly then landed on the American's stout. He flicked the fly off the beer and proceeded to drink away. Then another fly landed on the beer of the Irishman. The irishman piicks up the fly and yells "spit it out ya bastard!
15" PB 2.5 Ghz, 4 Gig RAM, 750 GB HD, Live 9 still no cue points or program change messages?!?. Doesn't do shit.
One fine day, an old irishman is goes on a stroll with his young grandson.
As they walk along the lane, Grandpa decides to impart a bit of wisdom to his young progeny. "Ya see this 'ere wall? I built this wall stone by stone with me own two 'ands. All 3 miles of it, but do they call me O'Reily the Wall Builder? NO! And ya see that barn yonder? Built it with me own two 'ands, plank by plank and every nail, but do they call me O'Reilly the Barn Raiser? NO!!! But ya shag One goat...
As they walk along the lane, Grandpa decides to impart a bit of wisdom to his young progeny. "Ya see this 'ere wall? I built this wall stone by stone with me own two 'ands. All 3 miles of it, but do they call me O'Reily the Wall Builder? NO! And ya see that barn yonder? Built it with me own two 'ands, plank by plank and every nail, but do they call me O'Reilly the Barn Raiser? NO!!! But ya shag One goat...
Last edited by kabuki on Fri Jun 17, 2005 3:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
15" PB 2.5 Ghz, 4 Gig RAM, 750 GB HD, Live 9 still no cue points or program change messages?!?. Doesn't do shit.
