HELP! I'm a Girl!

smutek · Post by **smutek** » Fri Jun 02, 2006 12:43 pm

Why would someone eat hay? And even so, why not just eat hey, where theres a horse there is hay right? Why lick a horse ass? Just eat some hay!!!!

leonard · Post by **leonard** » Fri Jun 02, 2006 12:55 pm

because they need to know wther it's on.

djadonis206 · Post by **djadonis206** » Fri Jun 02, 2006 3:05 pm

forge wrote:
Adonis, are you sure she just didnt get implants removed?

Nah, they were real - you could tell by the way they hung as opposed to stood at attention

If I have to register with the civil service @ age 18 I think all women should register with the National Institute of Breast Enhancement when they turn 18 - if for any reason they are underdeveloped when they turn 18 (nah 16, wait 14, no thats to early 16) they can get an enhancement at a discounted rate - it would stop alot of wars and probably end hunger in 3/4's of the country - not to mention it would put an end to genocide in 3rd world countries. Seriously

The power of the breast is like a mighty force of nature that can't be stopped.

Now I think there should be rules to the mandatory breast enhancement at age 18

1) she must be some what hot - ugly girls with big breast just lead to ugly children - drunk guys droolong over breast and not paying attention to the face end up sleeping with them, they get pregnant and another ugly baby is born - boooo - if plastic surgery or a skin graph is required the government will cover the cost 50%

2) lesbians need not apply - I mean what's the point of a lesbian getting a breast enhancement...what's in it for me c'mon

3) If by some freak of nature you're abnormally large you can get a reduction to a minimum of a 36 DD - any less would go against all that is American and true

4) If there is a booty to breast abnormality - you know all tit no ass. We can work on enhancing your buns in some way covered by the government 50%

I nominate myself as the official "firmness and flexibilty chief of staff" to the president. I will conduct daily exams, stringent quality control tests to ensure what we have is a solid product - a beta tester if you will

So I think we're ready to move forward gentlemen

ready...go!

Adonis

mikemc · Post by **mikemc** » Fri Jun 02, 2006 8:58 pm

D DAS wrote: sorry i could not help it she is a cutie and not to many gals come around these parts. it is like the ableton prison here. all i see are sausages.

and, of course, this thread is a shining example of exactly why

D DAS · Post by **D DAS** » Sat Jun 03, 2006 12:01 am

girls that can't hang with a thread like this aren't needed here anyway.

rbmonosylabik · Post by **rbmonosylabik** » Sat Jun 03, 2006 8:16 am

Patch wrote:I haven't felt the need to contribute in this thread...

UNTIL THIS:

but I noticed something different - very different - WTF!!! she got a reduction, a fucking reduction - what fucking girl in her right mind gets a breast reduction!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

djadonis206 - I salute you. Who the fuck do these bitches think they are? Fuckin' with nature like that? I'm all for girls having "enhancements" - like you say - purely for self-esteem/confidence reasons...

But damn.... Reductions?

I can't deny I'd be very disappointed

Diana Ayanna · Post by **Diana Ayanna** » Sat Jun 03, 2006 6:36 pm

Attention Wizards!

Kabuki read me right... my subject title was a joke...

kabuki wrote:I took her thread title as a sort of self-effacing joke. Like "Help me, I'm a girl" even though she has more music to show than most of us (including myself), so she obviously isn't helpless. Basic sarcasm.

If she was homely, she wouldn't have ellicited all the wank-talk. She just happens to be pretty. In a forum full of geeks on computers.

It would be like someone going into a Star Trek forum with a title that reads "I have O'Hura's thong!!!" even though we all know O'Hura wore granny panties.

(Sorry for the rambling. Pretty girls make me all confused and clumsy)

I posted my questions on the Abelton forum because I thought I would be sure to find a plethora of hip, talented beat makers who enjoyed helping each other out with technical and creative issues.

After checking out the forum for a few days before posting, it was apparent that you were friendly and helpful, but I found it odd that there was such a shortage of women amongst such an enthusiastic group of Live users. It occurred to me that by making a joke as to a female announcing her arrival in a fraternity house, I might get some smiles while getting my questions answered promptly...

I didn't know that my title would cause such a bar room brawl!

Luckily, I have a sense of humor and am quite used to hanging with the boys- In and Out of the studio...

So for any of you that are questioning my gender, integrity or intention... I assure you I'm for real, a real female Live user... and after
enduring 72 hours of endless hazing, I think I've passed initiation, wouldn't you agree?

May I be granted honorary membership into your cigar smoking, whiskey drinking, Live strictly "Men's Only" establishment?

Let the board meeting commence....

hoffman2k · Post by **hoffman2k** » Sat Jun 03, 2006 6:47 pm

Diana Ayanna wrote:May I be granted honorary membership into your cigar smoking, whiskey drinking, Live strictly "Men's Only" establishment?

Let the board meeting commence....

You call them Men?. Yeah there are some. But evolution skipped a beat on most of us

If it weren't for wireless technology, we would pretty much be cyborgs.

Anyway, welcome on (the) board. We can always use some more sarcasm around these parts

jamesp · Post by **jamesp** » Sat Jun 03, 2006 7:15 pm

By all apperance there's nothing "honorary" about it... But welcome aboard the board anyway.

glu · Post by **glu** » Sat Jun 03, 2006 7:33 pm

wow, so far I think she is the only one with at least a 6 page intro post to the Abe forum. Awesome, haha! So Diana, how is the SL-25 working for you? Do you use automapping with it, or your own templates? Wish I had a better audio card with more ins, I have a Korg triton And I think it would be interesting to try to sync it up with Live, controlling everything with the SL25. Haven't gotten that brave yet.

Machinesworking · Post by **Machinesworking** » Sat Jun 03, 2006 7:47 pm

Diana Ayanna wrote: Kabuki read me right... my subject title was a joke...So for any of you that are questioning my gender, integrity or intention... I assure you I'm for real, a real female Live user... and after
enduring 72 hours of endless hazing, I think I've passed initiation, wouldn't you agree?

May I be granted honorary membership into your cigar smoking, whiskey drinking, Live strictly "Men's Only" establishment?

Glad the subject title was a joke, and glad you took the hazing with humor.

Funny thing is I work construction, nothing said was shocking to me, but most construction workers are very polite to women when approached, the jokes and macho bragging commence when the women leave the room!

The internet is weird like that, people don't feel any shame in letting their inner asshole out.

DeadlyKungFu · Post by **DeadlyKungFu** » Sun Jun 04, 2006 12:05 am

Crazy, the conspiracy deepens. All we need now is for Diana to be a Nazi who blew up the World Trade Center so that Sasha could cover up his love affair with Ropey Punter.

Ableton needs to patch Live so the "Help -> Join the User Forum" menu option changes to "For a weird time click here."

TranNgoc2010 · Post by **TranNgoc2010** » Sun Jun 04, 2006 1:11 am

I am Tran and I am a man of course thank you. Dianna please listen to a track I make on myspace www.myspace.com/tranngoc2010

I am glad a women belongs to ableton now.

The Revolution has begun

ishimaru · Post by **ishimaru** » Sun Jun 04, 2006 1:26 am

Oh my lord. This thread is fucking classic. I swear you guys see a skirt and go crazy. hahaha. By the way Diana Ayanna your track on myspace is pretty dece.

siddhu · Post by **siddhu** » Sun Jun 04, 2006 2:16 am

TranNgoc2010 wrote:I am Tran and I am a man of course thank you. Dianna please listen to a track I make on myspace www.myspace.com/tranngoc2010

I am glad a women belongs to ableton now.

The Revolution has begun

Ha ha ha...this thread IS a classic!

TranNgoc2010's post has just pushed it into the stratosphere. His "I am glad a women belongs to ableton now." is the Ableton version of "All your base are belong to us"