[very, very OT] my sadness, a loss...
-
heavensdaw
- Posts: 1825
- Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 12:01 pm
- Location: inbetween the inbetween
Hey Mike.. Just want you to know how sorry I am to hear this...
My Love goes out to you dude...
I have not had to deal with this one myself.. So I can't comment.
But, also just to say, that I'm sure with time, understanding and patience, you will feel better, and grow into the acceptance of the event..
Best
Hd
My Love goes out to you dude...
I have not had to deal with this one myself.. So I can't comment.
But, also just to say, that I'm sure with time, understanding and patience, you will feel better, and grow into the acceptance of the event..
Best
Hd
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http://www.myspace.com/theinpsyda
'enjoy what you can while you can'
Very sorry to hear that Mike. My mom passed away just over 2 years ago, at 53. It was very hard at frist...looking back now, that first year is just kind of a blur. I only took a few days off work, and was incredibly busy with work and handling her estate, so I never really took much time to grieve or work through the emotions. I wish I had. I've never experienced such an insane mixture of grief, anger, gladness (she was very very sick before), relief (I was giving her a lot of time and money, and it is very hard to see someone you love so much in so much pain), guilt, depression, etc. I got married exactly one month after, so that sure complicated things too.
You get a better perspective over time, I think, but time doesn't necessarily resolve everything. I am very analytical-minded person, so I worked through things intellectually after a few months, and I thought that was it. I am finding out now there is a purely emotional side that is not so easy (for me) to work through. For example, I'll find myself inexplicably angry and quick to become hostile....only to realize later that it is was the anniversary of my mom's death. It's like there are all these intense emotions under the surface, and they come out sideways until you resolve them.
I think you gotta let yourself grieve when it comes...don't be afraid of it, or feel guilty, and don't put it off for later when it's more comfortable or you're not so busy. Over time the root cause of these emotions will subside into the unconscious and it gets hard to tell where the intense emotions are coming from, so grieve now while it's easy.
Hopefully you have a friend that is a great listener that you can talk with about whatever you're feeling. My wife was absolutely wonderful at just listening to me gush a bunch of crazy shit out, and forgiving when my anger has been misplaced in her direction.
Just keep on working it out....I hope you come through it stronger, deeper, and more loving than before.
You get a better perspective over time, I think, but time doesn't necessarily resolve everything. I am very analytical-minded person, so I worked through things intellectually after a few months, and I thought that was it. I am finding out now there is a purely emotional side that is not so easy (for me) to work through. For example, I'll find myself inexplicably angry and quick to become hostile....only to realize later that it is was the anniversary of my mom's death. It's like there are all these intense emotions under the surface, and they come out sideways until you resolve them.
I think you gotta let yourself grieve when it comes...don't be afraid of it, or feel guilty, and don't put it off for later when it's more comfortable or you're not so busy. Over time the root cause of these emotions will subside into the unconscious and it gets hard to tell where the intense emotions are coming from, so grieve now while it's easy.
Hopefully you have a friend that is a great listener that you can talk with about whatever you're feeling. My wife was absolutely wonderful at just listening to me gush a bunch of crazy shit out, and forgiving when my anger has been misplaced in her direction.
Just keep on working it out....I hope you come through it stronger, deeper, and more loving than before.
